What is more moral, Polygamy or "Serial" Monogamy?

Question

In a society where divorce statistics are higher than most average high school math test scores, many children live in single parent homes, and people bounce from one sexual relationship to another -- a trend sometimes referred to as "Serial Monogamy," -- how can one justifiably condemn polygamy as immoral? In my opinion, "Serial Monogamy" is nothing more than Polygamy without responsibility, accountability or commitment. What do you think?

*** Let me clarify--Polygamy is Marriage between more than two people, so commitment to these people is inherent in the polygamous marriage.***

***"Serial Monogamy" is the act of moving from one monogamous relationship to another -- whether it be one marriage to another, or one sexual relationship to another.***

Answer 1

Morality is very subjective. What is moral to one may be immoral to another. For instance, it goes without saying that taking another's life for any reason other than self defense would be considered immoral. However, for some something as mundane as oral sex is considered immoral while others consider it a natural sexual act.

I feel that both polygamy and serial monogamy are moral as long as no unethical activities are happening, such as sex with underage people (such as in the Warren Jeffs situation). How someone conducts their life and their personal relationships should be of no one else's concern outside of a direct, negative affect upon them personally. It's not anyone's place to act as the morality police for anyone else.


++ Posted by Unsure: "And the whole thing is that they're not committed to one person which is what marriage is all about!"

Maybe that is what marriage is about in your mind, but not in everyone's. Don't be so arrogant as to think that just because it is right for you it is right for everyone.

Besides, have you read the Bible? All of God's "Holy Men" were polygamists, and God rewarded men for their good deeds by giving them even more wives.

++ Posted by Persona: "...it's about what tends to happen inside a polygamous relationship. The man becomes the dictator of the household and the women have little say over things..."

I strongly agree with what you went on to say from here, but how does this differ from most Abrahamic faith-based (Christianity, Judaism, Islam) marriages where the man is the head of the household and the women are subservient? The whole 1950's "Leave it to Beaver" arrangement where mom stays home doing the cooking and cleaning and raising of the kids and dad works and comes home and relaxes and doesn't do anything to help mom with the household. And, to boot, mom is to do everything he says. The Bible even states that women are in violation of God if they don't submit to their husband's desires anytime, anywhere.

For example:

Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord

Eph.5:23-24 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.... Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Exodus 20:17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ***, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

and Deuteronomy 5:21 Neither shalt thou desire thy neighbour's wife, neither shalt thou covet thy neighbour's house, his field, or his manservant, or his maidservant, his ox, or his ***, or any thing that is thy neighbour's.

In this, women are given the same importance and rights to ownership of a man as his ox, his donkey and his slaves.

Corinthians (14:34 - 5) Let your women keep silence... for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law... And if they will learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home...

Titus (2:4-5) "Teach the young women to be ... obedient to their own husbands."

You are right to go on and say that we are communal, and if we could get over our jealousies we'd all be much happier, and that plural relationships CAN AND DO WORK when all the people involved are equals in the relationship.

Answer 2

Historically from what i know it seems that Europeans are the only group of people who practiced monogamy as a whole while more Asian and African people practice polygamy(not saying that some didn't practice monogamy). Usually when a person would be in a polygamous relationship they would be well off and could support their mate's. So i would believe polygamy is only moral when you have the financial ability to support more than one mate also being the same for monogamy.

Answer 3

I'm not sure that it's immoral in itself, it's about what tends to happen inside a polygamous relationship. The man becomes the dictator of the household and the women have little say over things, and the women tend (in cults) to be very young and not have a full decision over marriage.
If you had a different kind of polygamy, where everyone is bi and has equal power, that'd be pretty interesting and great for children. The problem is jealousy. If all can truly overcome jealousy and commit to collectively raising their children, I see nothing wrong with that.

Answer 4

Polygamy is a completely different issue! Calling these relationships "serial monogamy" is an external judgment.
Neither is really moral.

I wish people would think before getting married and/or producing children but allowing for blatant polygamy is definitely out of the question...

Answer 5

Serial monogamy -- do you really have to ask?

Polygamy does not make them committed! What kind of logic is that? They may not be faithful to their wive(s). They may still divorce one wife or another. And the whole thing is that they're not committed to one person which is what marriage is all about!

Answer 6

Neither of them is moral.

To me what's moral is marriage between 1 man and 1 woman. Not 1 man and multiple women.

Or moving from 1 one on one relationship to another. That's not monogamy, that's being reckless and only looking for sexual relationships.

Answer 7

Just do whatever u feel happy doing. and anyhow, if one person in a relationship is unhappy, then yes they should move on to a new fresh relationship. if they want to introduce sex into the new relationship that is their choice, their body, who cares.

and as for polygamy... immoral. u shoudl be with one person at a time. not two or three or four. one person, even if that means dropping the current one to continue the search

Answer 8

Well, the Bible says that marriage, and more particularly the act of sex, is a covenant, and even if you are divorced, unless the person you married has died, then you are committing adultery. I know that the views of the Bible aren't as accepted this day in age... but I still believe that to be true. You GIVE yourself to a person that you marry, and even if you only have sex with one person *at a time* you're still leading a polygamous lifestyle.

I hope that helps at all.

Cheers

Answer 9

i guess it just depends on the people involved and the outcome of the relationship. each to their own i say as long as it is consenting adults and nobody is exploited or violated.
best wishes....you raise a good point!

Answer 10

What is more moral? Honesty - with oneself, as well as one's partners.