I am in Tennessee. My husband didn't fully support the kids when he was living here, and then he moved abroad and stopped supporting us at all. Can I do anything? We are still married, though he's now got a girlfriend who he takes on extravagant holidays. I haven't received a penny from him during the last 2 years. If I divorce, will they ask him for back payments for this time? Is there anything else I can do? I don't want to divorce, I was planning to wait until the children left home, but really I have so little money I don't know what to do. I haven't claimed any welfare etc so far but it is hard to manage.
2007-12-03 16:59:28 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He moved abroad to take a job at a University. I couldn't go too as the kids were in college and school - and I didn't want to emigrate. And I thought he'd come back...but then he met someone.
2007-12-03 17:38:51 · update #1
How did he move abroad, military?
(EDIT)
Sorry it took me so long; you need to get an attorney, a good one, check with pro bono associations in your area to see if you can get assistance with that. And check with the lawyers themselves, many lawyers (most worth their salt) will do a free consult. In terms of divorce, what is more offensive to you and your children; the fact that your husband has abandoned you and is running around with another woman leaving you essentially destitute, or your children seeing their mother stand up for herself and divorce the JERK. You are doing what is best for your children by divorcing him. It is possible that you may receive back support for this time, although don't bank on it, you need to gather as much evidence as you can that he did in fact abandon you. Financial records, ANYTHING you can. This is where a good attorney will come into play to make your plea before a judge regarding the back support, as well as the fact that your husband may not even respond to a petition for divorce. Also, support orders are not necessarily enforceable abroad. I know you don't want to claim welfare, I don't blame you (and I say good for you for being proud enough to try to do it on your own); that being said, YOU and your children are the people who welfare was created for. People who are trying their hardest to earn a living on their own and just can't make ends meet because of unfortunate circumstances, so don't be ashamed if you need it! Good luck!
2007-12-03 17:06:08 · answer #1 · answered by ♀Redheaded Sunshine☼ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hit the local bookstore and get the Do-It-Yourself Divorce guide for your state. You can download the latest forms from the state's website.
You need to demand both a divorce and child support. You can also get 1/2 of all assets including 401K, CDs, pension funds and whatever else.
If you have his address, that will help, but you can't get the state to collect until they can find him... until then, he is an outlaw and he will owe for back child support. You have to get the judgement onto the records, though.
YES, go down to the welfare office and get on AFDC and food stamps. You have to feed and clothe your kids, and keep a roof over their heads.
2007-12-03 17:55:17 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to stay married to a person that doesn't want to be with you? How long the marriage has been will play a big roll in the support for you, but its something you should do ASAP. Most counties have legal aid available to you and they can really help but you need to make sure you put down everything you want in those papers and they usually have assistance for the filing fees or they can make the husband pay your legal fees based on income. I did it I was married for 12yrs separated for 7 of those, its a scary place to be but I had four children with this man and I left after 5yrs and I did it for myself and my children because they needed to know what a health happy loving home was really like.
Good luck to you.
2007-12-03 17:20:22 · answer #3 · answered by Hope 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make life better for your kids and go after him for support. They'll take any taxes that he should get back and give them for you. More than likely you won't be able to get back child support before the date you file your divorce papers though.
2007-12-03 17:08:06 · answer #4 · answered by Tasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no u can not do anything - u re married. if u get divorced they will not take money from him for previous years - u were married. when u re married it is between u and him. it is if u re divorced and he doesn't pay - then they will deduct all the money he hasn't pay during divorced time
2007-12-03 17:23:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get an attorney pronto!
2007-12-03 17:04:35 · answer #6 · answered by I do 26.2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋