but want to get thru this. I know marriage isn't all about sex, but it does help. I have a friendship with a co-worker (platonic), although probably too emotionally invested. He has made it clear he would be a friend with benefits, but he is not pushing. Would I be totally immoral to do this? I would never let my husband know or leave him (unfortunately his prognosis is not good, but he is up and down-cancer), but this is so hard.
2007-12-03 16:17:00 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You don't want to hurt your husband, but you want intimacy because 'it's hard'? That's a dreadful cop out. What could possibly be more intimate than helping your husband cope with his illness. If things were reversed and you were the one with cancer, how would you feel if he was tom-catting around because he had a 'need'.
You're right, marriage isn't all about sex. It's about supporting the one we love in sickness and in health. That is what you promised, isn't it.
Be a wife, a real wife, and forget about having an idiotic fling with a coworker. If the man is aware of your husband's illness, he's not much of a man anyway. You don't need him, but your husband needs you ... desperately. Think about it, please!
2007-12-03 16:49:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have been on the other end of this. I have been fighting breast cancer for about 5 years. Last year had a reoccurrence, but was doing well until I got a staff infection that nearly killed me. I was heavily medicated for several months. My husband started an emotional affair with a lady at church. I'm sure it started out innocent, but it developed into something that really hurt me when I found out. Cancer is something that can come and go into remission and many people are living longer with it. I know it can be devastating, but live for today. If you love your husband, give him everything you have. Be there fully for him. Just your support and love can make a difference to your recovery. Good luck!
2007-12-03 17:50:02 · answer #2 · answered by Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, immoral, and cheating.
Your husband probably needs you more now - than at any other time in his life. Don't add to his cancer problems .. with you cheating on him.
If your husband discovered your cheating - it could upset him so badly that it could make his health worse.
What your husband is experiencing now with his cancer issue ,,, is far worse than this hard part you are going through.
Stand by your husband ,, in every way. You will never have any regrets ... and it is the right thing to do.
2007-12-03 16:24:21 · answer #3 · answered by Tara 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Kathy is right. I would not do this at this point. You have to go to work everyday and face him and other people that would know what you did and might hold it against you. Be there for your husband. What would you want him to do if this were you? Take care of it yourself for now. Do you have a friend to talk to? I would also do that. Hang in there.
2007-12-03 16:54:59 · answer #4 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is cheating not matter what. and your worried about your personal sex life while your husband is dying. well maybe you should just file for divorce right now and stop waiting for the insurance money. what a tramp. if you truly loved this man you would never of asked this nor would you of thought it. go buy a dildo and stay home and take care of yourself next to you husband.
2007-12-03 16:23:09 · answer #5 · answered by butter b 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to give you a moral answer because when your flesh is talking to you nothing makes sense anymore but I will say your co worker might be very very good in bed and you might get use to him which could mean spending less time with your husband who's in need. And what if this guy has a really small you know what and wastes your time for nothing you'll really feel bad then.
2007-12-03 16:31:56 · answer #6 · answered by askmeguru21 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
If you love your Husband take care of him. He is sick and as his wife you should understand the situation. I can understand if he wasn't sick and was not giving in but after all he is poorly so take cake of you husband. That is love.
Just remember: "Don't let you Fantasies seduce you."
2007-12-07 10:54:14 · answer #7 · answered by djeneralee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it. What if the shoe were on the other foot? How would you feel about your husband having an affair or leaving you? If this man cares about you, he will wait.
2007-12-10 06:57:50 · answer #8 · answered by Simmi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My compassion is reserved for your husband. The poor man is suffering through what seems to be terminal cancer. You are sexually frustrated. Where the blazes are your brains? Not in your knickers, lady!
Remember, what goes around comes around.
2007-12-04 12:57:15 · answer #9 · answered by Marel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yo girl....don't do it...your husband has cancer. Be there for him. You married him. Don't screw it up now because you're horny. Go out and get a really good vibrator. Don't give up your self respect for the momentary satisfaction of the flesh. You'll only hate yourself afterwards.
2007-12-03 16:22:20 · answer #10 · answered by Kathy R 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋