I have a friend who is abused, I have no clue what to do!?

Question

I have an online friend who's abused by his dad. I know he's being serious, I know he is who he says he is (we have done webcam) I've been talking to him for a year. ( please dont say that he's lying, I know he isn't) He's 17 and lives in Texas, but he's asked me never to tell anyone or try and help. His dad tortures him and really hurts him, he's broke his arm and messed up his one eye for life. I'm so worried about him. Every night we talk, he's crying because his dad did something. I want him to be safe, but I promised him I wouldn't get involved. I live on Colorado, is there anything I could do? I know his full name and the city he lives in, but I'm worried that if I do anything he'll hate me. He said that his dad told him if anyone ever found out he'd deny everything and hurt him more then ever! What should I do?!?!

I've tried to talk him into talking to someone else about it, but he doesn't want to hurt his family (they've had a super hard time, they lost a son!)
How would I go about getting him help? I'm willing to get my parents involved. They also know I talk to him.

Yes, he has 5 siblings, but his dad doesn't hurt anyone else besides him. Only his little sister knows whats going on, no one else besides her and I know.

He just turned 17, so its another year before he's 18

Answer 1

Hun, you either need to convince him to tell someone and get help or you need to take it upon yourself and tell someone. You can contact Child Protective Services (CPS) in his area and tell them everything and they will investigate it.
Don't worry too much about his dad's threats because he will most likely not have the chance to hurt his son again after CPS looks into the case.

Here is a helpful website with phone numbers for the CPS in Texas: http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Protection/About_Child_Protective_Services/reportabuse.asp
The number to call is 1-800-252-5400- it's confidential so the guy won't know it's you that told.

You need to call and report the abuse for his safety.

Answer 2

The National Child Abuse hotline is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 1-800-4-A-CHILD is their phone number.

If nothing else, call them and talk the situation over with them. Even if you don't report anything, you can still call and get advice. They can answer a lot of the questions:

1) How do they go about investigating this?
2) What protection (if any) will your friend have during the investigation?
3) Will he hate you forever or will he be glad?
4) Why is he telling me and nobody else?
5) Won't it harm his family?

The reality is that he may be 18 soon and it's possible that the dad is not hurting anyone else. But what happens when/if he moves out? The dad is going to target one of the younger siblings. He has to take out his aggression somewhere and they'll be the easiest target.

The dad may deny everything, but that does not mean that the case will be dropped. CPS is very, very, very difficult to get rid of once they knock on your door the first time. It's not a one day process and they will investigate this. Not only that, but a counsellor can identify pretty easily if a child is denying something because they're afraid of reprecussions or whether they're denying it because it's truthful. They won't just say, "Has he ever punched you?" Hear a "no," and walk away.

When someone talks about abuse, they're in a stage where they're comfortable enough to test the waters to see who will help. My only suggestion is to at least call the hotline and talk about all your concerns with the person that answered. They can help you sort this out a LOT better than we can in this type of forum and they have a lot more answers than we can likely give.

Matt

Answer 3

It depends on how close he is to being 18. If he's close to being 18, then he can move out soon, and won't have to worry anymore. But that's also unfair to him, because he;ll have to sacrifice a lot just so he can stop being abused. No matter what happens, he's going to be hurt. Really, you should tell someone. First tell your parents if you're close to them. They could give you some good advice. I would call CPS. Its not fair to your friends to have to suffer or support himself financially just to get away from abuse. He deserves a better life - he's already been through a lot. You should do the right thing - its going to be scary for him, but as long as you're there for him, as its all going to go to hell, he'll have a chance of a better life.

Answer 4

Talk to your parents so that they can get family services involved.I know tha you promised not to get involved,but you could very wee save his life.If he is a true friend of your get this boy some help.Apparently he is wanting you to get involved or else he wouldnt have said anything to you about it.It sounds like a cry for help.Go tell someone now.A child,no matter how old should have to live through torture.

Answer 5

hmm, i wonder how they lost that son. maybe his dad is trying to lose him "mistakenly" too. I know he loves his family; one doesn't have much of a choice at a young age but to love and stay with their family. What he needs to do is cultivate a character that will bring out a positive influence in his Dad's life towards him. I mean, there must be something that triggers his dad to abuse him. He needs to work towards eliminating these "abuse triggers" so that his Dad will stop abusing him. This is just terrible! I'm wishing I could do something.... For now, try telling him what i just told you. I hope it helps a lot. Good luck!

Answer 6

I know it may seem wrong, but try to find his address or trick him into telling you. If he does, call child protective services or the police or something and tell them whats going on. He may hate you for it, but you'd be improving his life, believe me. Does he have any younger siblings? His dad could be hurting others for all you know. Please try to help him, even if he says not to.

Answer 7

as much as you want to personally help him, you cant. talk to a teacher, or trusted adult friend about him. they can contact the correct people. He doesnt want you to tell, because he is afraid of his father hurting him more. But if anyone finds out about this, then his dad will go to jail. But someone needs to be told. dont be embarassed about it. :) good luck

Answer 8

He will not stay angry forever. Call and get him some help. It will come out and they will talk to his sister. Abusers always threaten the people that they abuse because they know that they are afraid of them. Have your mom call social services where he lives and explain the situation to them. Help him out.

Answer 9

Ex cop the following----------enable me attempt to describe this yet all over again . Get her out of their hous/position of abode NOW before she finally ends up lifeless! he will not in any respect replace. he will proceed to threaten with the suicide problem as he's conscious this is a thanks to make her experience in charge so she will provide in and take him lower back one better time so he in turn can BEAT ON HER one better TIME. She needs to bypass to the community PD and document a RESTRAINING ORDER ON HIM which states he's not ALLOWED everywhere close to HER (domicile, college, paintings etc) or he is going to detention center. SHE needs to do precisely what the restraining order says too, as if she enables him lower back once the order has been served then she is in violation and may he BEAT on her back, then she demands help-some police officials are gonna have the ""the following we bypass back" concepts-set. He has chosen his existence-style and except HE needs to regulate HIS existence-style she will not in any respect be able to help him. The ABUSE WILL in basic terms proceed to worsen. I have not been in regulation enforcement for distinctive yrs. now, although the perfect lady that got here to the detention center at the same time at the same time with her husband on a relations(they were both arrested for combating) swore up and down he suggested he might want to not in any respect do it back and he or she ""loved him"". Sorry, it doesnt be counted how a lot she loved him nor does or not this is counted how a lot your buddy claims she loves her husband. One week after this lady finished telling us he promised he might want to not in any respect do it back---she change into properly as her relations BURIED HER. Get your buddy out of there now before this is basically too late.

Answer 10

You need to contact the police department in your area, and let them know what is going on before that boy's father hurts him any worse. Does the boy have anywhere that he could stay just to get himself out of this horrible home? He really needs to get out before his father does anything else to him. If you would like some further help with this feel free to email me at. Most likely he isn't going to get angry with you if you report this, he's in a way asking for your help, I know its hard to see, by the way he is talking to you, but he's most likely doing what he's doing the way he's doing it to hide it from his dad, he's reaching out to you for help, help him before its too late. If your parents are willing to get involved great, and they should, they should see about contacting child protective services right away and get him out of there. One day of child abuse is one day too many. If you need more help feel free to contact me at [e-mail].