Its not feminists who give women a bad name...?

Question

I was listening to a talkback radio show this morning, and the hosts were discussing how materialistic some women can be when it comes to picking men, while men "just look for one thing - a pulse." They invited both genders to call in and ask if they have "lists" and what is on the list. Here's what one girl said:

- he must have a mobile, and not a "brick" phone
- he must have a car that's bought post 1990
- wage is over 60K per year
- young and model looks.

And it just HIT me how women like her just results in generalisations that all women are golddiggers! Its not feminists who give women a bad name - feminists are aggressive but intelligent and willing to stand up to challenges.

Its these shallow women who just think about MONEY and materalistics! If anything, feminists give women a standing in the world - that not all of us are golddigging airheads, but people with a brain.

Your thoughts?

nerdyxpunk - not at all, I agree with you. Any form of extremism is likely to be frowned upon.

Tera - actually, no it was just a young people's breakfast chat show. The issue arose when a girl emailed the station saying that she wanted to help a friend find a guy, but her friend had impossibly high standards.

Tera - I don't agree every woman is a golddigger either - I'm not. What I'm saying is this minority results in generalisation and therefore in my opinion, they are worse than feminists.

Tera - I'm glad to see you agree, and that was my point!

Answer 1

Sure, some girls probably do have ridiculous "lists"...but that's exactly what was asked for (in regard to the radio show you were listening to), so it's no wonder some real fruitcakes called in with that information. And since these were probably the only calls asked for (and thus expected and accepted), it's going to LOOK LIKE these callers represent a larger group (a majority), when in fact, they do not. How do you know which calls were filtered out and which ones were played on the radio? My guess is, the ones that were played were chosen to represent the most extreme cases. It doesn't mean all women are like that, but I suppose it could give this impression if those calls were the only ones that were played on the radio for the world to hear!

What show were you listening to? I'll bet it was one that typically slanders women and/or feminism.

EDIT; Even so, it's not surprising that some women have impossibly high expectations and unrealistic ones...and motives that are less than pure when it comes to money....and I agree, women like that give the rest of us a "bad name." Seriously, I really don't think every woman is a gold digger. And the scenario given above (by me) really is a tactic that some of those women-bashing men's talk radio shows actually use. (And there are more than a few of these types of radio shows out there, so please forgive me for assuming that this must be one of those. Thanks for clarifying that the show you were referring to was not one of them!)

EDIT: Of course they are "worse than feminists!" The word "gold digger" does not even belong in the same category as feminism! Gold-diggers are have overly dependent personalities- they also prefer taking the "easy way out" of things (relying on others to pay their way in life)- and they are selfish. Feminists, on the other hand, prefer to stand on their own two feet, and want to earn credibility by their own merits. They are not selfish people. They understand the need to compromise and they realize the need for equality in a relationship. They don't expect someone else to carry their load for them while giving nothing in return.

Answer 2

Yes, some of them do. Those that go well beyond the pale of what feminism was meant to be and how it was laid out on the table, as it were, in the early years. There is no separation between being a feminist and being a woman! Certainly there was never meant to be one. I do notice, however, that some men out there are still singing the same tired tune they always sang and you, Celtish, are among them. You stir this pot of muck daily and try to put an intellectual spin on it. You've become tiresome in your banter and are as transparent as a plate of glass. In the meanwhile, all you accomplish is giving feminists and women a worse name than they already have from people who haven't the foggiest notion what feminism is. The worst part of it is that this is exactly what you mean to do! You're the one who is making the distinction right now between feminists and women. You must love to fight because there is no other reason for anyone to go on and on as you do about the same old topic. You never seem to learn anything no matter what anyone tells you and that's because you need so desperately to continue to be disagreeable. No woman has to bother to type a reply in order to keep up this degrading discussion...you're here to do it for everyone.

Answer 3

I think it is erroneously being thought that if any woman has a set of demands made upon men, for whatever reason, those demands are then by default feminist. And I can see how that condition has developed. Simply by the fact society would not have provided women the means to set demands of any kind, were it not for the actions and accomplishments of feminism, any demands subsequently made (regardless of how irrational they are) are the result of feminism.

All of this is completely irrational of course. But humans for the most part don't think rationally. We have gone from fruit of the poisonous tree, to tree of the poisonous fruit. So now the tree is deemed poisonous!

Shingoshi Dao
2007.Dec.05 Wed, 04:15 --800 (PST)

Answer 4

Both genders can be somewhat materialistic when it comes to selecting a partner.

I'm not sure if you have ever seen the movie "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes", but the 'blonde' (Lorelei, played by Marilyn Monroe) is castigated throughout as a gold digger, until confronted. She then makes what I have always thought were quite good points ~ if a man can seek a pretty girl, a good girl and a girl who can cook, clean, sew, etc, why can't a girl look for a secure man who will treat her well.

The thing is with 'fixed' roles where one side is the 'giver' and the other is the 'taker', making lists of 'requirements' becomes a kind of natural feature.

Eliminate the fixed nature of the roles, and such selection criteria become optional.

For example, the girl on the radio ~ she can make a list, but no chap has to accept a girl who does unless he agrees!

And vice versa, of course :-)

Cheers :-)

Answer 5

I think both extremes give women a bad name. Its the people in the middle who have a couple feminist ideas, but still enjoy some materialistic things that are affected by the bad ideas. People no generally look at women as either all golddiggers or as all militant-feminists, and the majority aren't either of these 2 extremes.

before i get like 30 thumbs down, ill say its the same way for guys.

Answer 6

I'm against feminism, I believe it's evil and divisive, but I don't think women in general have a bad name at all. They are after all 50% of the world's population. There are bad people, shallow people, over-materialistic golddiggers, men and women both, everywhere and unfortunately they don't carry warning labels on their foreheads. But please believe in yourself and have faith.

Answer 7

Nobody gives women a bad name. a woman gives herself a bad name. I bought my car in 1987 (well, it was made that year), I earn just a bit above the minimum U.S wage (which here, for a student, is pretty much) and my looks are not for modelling, (although im pretty sporty), and "women" in general, don't despise me.

Answer 8

You are absolutely right, though I would add an additional point: women like this are opportunists and will use any strategy available to them to get their way and that includes using feminist ideas when it's convenient. Many men don't distinguish between women who are committed feminists who give serious thought to gender issues and women who will spout feminist rhetoric in a self-serving way. There are women who will appeal to traditional gender roles, to feminism, to hedonistic sexual freedom, and to whatever other argument works for what they want at any given moment and THESE women give feminism the WORST perception.

Answer 9

All women are gold-diggers. Some are more honest about it than others.

Hmmm ... I can't remember the last time a poor, grave digger, but who had a loving personality, complained about having too many women after him.

Women are not the answer. They are the problem.

Answer 10

i think kyour totalaly right all of the girls out there that only care about guys with money... my last boyfriend was freaking rich but i wouldnt let him pay for my meals a majority of the time because honestly there is no reason that we, girls, can no pay for the guys... i understand back in the old days when ladys didnt have jobs the guys had to pay but now i think that the girls should at least pay tip or offer to pay part of the tab or somthing ^_^ anyway most girls are insane thats why all of my friends are guys^_^ keep n rockin!