my hasband has left me?

Question

Yes that's right he has just left me our 1month old & our 2yo boy, well he has been gone since Friday, I haven't been able to stop crying, I feel so used :'( 3 YEARS I have done nothing but love him & all he has done is hurt me time & time again, I turned into a drunk for 4months that's how bad I was over this guy. We have 3kids, one past away.. born a sleeping angel at 26weeks. I have gained so much weight with him, have hardly any self respect left. He has another kid to another woman who he visits at her house with her in the house! His ex has called me every name in the book, harassed me for 3years, with the sickest of words, telling me how he hates me & how much he don't love me etc. & how they r still sleeping together. I feel like f*%*n sh*t & wanna scream!!!!!!!!!! I hate him soo much for leaving me like this, he is the one looking after our kids whilst I'm in hospital in two days! i'm having gastric bypass, thats how bad my weight is coz of depression, i have been threw hell=(

Answer 1

your choice in a man has caused much of this. get away from this man and maybe u Will have a chance at life. stay with him and your life will be hell. think of yourself and improving things, don't focus on changing him, as he is who he is and there isn't anything u can do but leave a bad situation.

Answer 2

He has done the most loving thing a bastard could possibly do for a woman: Walk away from you so that you can finally find some peace of mind and happiness. This is your time to grow and bloom like a flower. Be happy. He has done you a great favor.

Since you are going for gastric bypass, you have to work on clearing your mind and soul. You cannot put yourself under a lot of stress. You are going to need all your strength to go through this surgery and to recuperate. Get your spirit together. Tell yourself that he doesn't matter right now. You and your kids do.

Put him in your past along with the fat, the insecurity, the bad self-image, the big clothes, the sadness and all the torment from his ex. Look ahead to your new life, your new body, your new awakening. As the saying goes, "Keep your eyes on the prize." You have taken the first step to regain control of your life. If you stay strong, you will be a force to be reckoned with. It will take time but you will be fine.

Don't be surprised if the weasel tries to come crawling back when you start to look fabulous, but save your "fabulousity" for someone who will love you and your children. Good luck!

Answer 3

I can understand you are devastated. I think once you come out of the fog of depression you are in you will see him leaving as a good thing for now. You need to regain your self esteem( stop letting others treat you as a doormat) and once you lose the weight you will start to see yourself come alive again. It sounds like there has been a lot of turmoil throughout your relationship. Maybe a separation is what everyone needs. I know that is not what you want to hear. My six month separation with my husband was defiantly for the best.( I screamed a lot!!) We are back together and stronger than ever before. But you need to work on yourself and caring for those babies right now. I think you should seek professional counseling so that you can sort through your issues of low self worth.You need to do this for you and your kids . Then when you get yourself on your feet. Who knows you might decide he is not worthy of you and your kids.

Answer 4

you will get past this in time and realize that he did you a favor by leaving you just as he did his ex. You need to stop and take a deep breath and take this one step at a time. First, get an attorney - legal aid if you can't afford one - and get some child support money from him. the gastric by pass surgery can be good if you really do need that but it may be that you need to raise your self esteem and start watching your diet and exercising and you won't need the surgery. remember no one on Biggest loser had that and they all lost tons of weight.
I will give you a site dealing with self esteem but there are also categories there for other things, like divorce. You should also consider counseling somewhere as well to heop you get past the fact that he used you for as long as he wanted and then dumped you. The fact that your youngest is only a month old tells me that he is an predator as far as your emotions and you are a victim! He may even decide that he wants to come back in time but you need to raise your self esteem and you won't let him. Good Luck to you and I hope the web site helps!

Answer 5

you really need to stop feeling mad, angry, and hurt and turn it around.
easy for m to say.i know.i been you.
Hurt.
left all alone with young kids.i couldn't exactly run in my room and cry.i had responsibility's and i had to do it.Remember i said i had to ''not that i wanted to.i cried to sleep and when i woke up cried some more.and when i wasn't crying i was holding it in until i could go and cry.
you are really stronger then you think.you have a new baby and as a new mother in a good place it is easy to fall apart.now you are a new mother in a bad setting and falling apart.
i went to a victory out reach church.(this is a church for x drug addicts come to find out 5 minutes after sitting down.NEVERTHELESS i STOOD THERE AND LISTENED.as i sat there i heard people talking about how addicted they were and how much effort they went through to keep the habit alive.well to make a long story short.i realized that ''he''my ex was my addiction. LOVE.i would of did anything to please him! keep him! and how when he was gone how much i needed him.i called relatives told my wows to whoever would listen i was a mess.i am here to tell you that you need to think and realize that he is no good for you.you were just use to him.that who ever takes his sorry a s s in will have to deal with him now.this is hard to believe now but you will get up again.i promise.email me if you need more info or just want to vent.♥

Answer 6

ok....take a step back....take a deep breath......release it....repeat the process.

You've done one great thing for yourself and I really applaud you for it -- you're getting gastric bypass to help yourself out. Keep on that path. Remember what got you on it in the first place. Use the anger, pain, and hurt as a source of motivation to become a better person for yourself and kids. Take this opportunity to build yourself up and look towards a happier future.

Your husband's leaving is actually not a bad thing. It is a positive thing for you because there will be no more abuse! Let him go harass another woman because he's not worth the spit it takes to say his name!

Most importantly, get yourself tested for HIV and all STDs in another six months and don't let that idiot back into your bed!

Answer 7

you really need to stop letting this man ruin not only your life but your kid's life! No man is worth all the pain you are going through! You don't need a man to be a woman! Do for you an your kids!It sux that he an his Ex are causing you to lose control of your life but forget them be better than them! Go have your surgery an start anew!Be a better person an let them go!Good Luck

Answer 8

You need psychological help. Nobody out here in cyber space can say or do anything that will make you feel better about yourself or situation. However, you do need medical help besides surgery. Go see a psychiatrist right now, today, tomorrow is not too soon.

Answer 9

listen... you are venting with all good reason but you need to calm down... get a grip... this man is a worthless pile of dookey and you need to get on with your life and your children,,weight is something that is temporary so it can be dealt with... but your mind needs help too you need some counseling and some esteen in your life,,,, you are going through sheer hell right now but i beg you to see a counselor and get away from this man, please startover anew you will be relieved to have people who are good for nothings out of your life and start fresh and turn over a brand spanking new leaf,,,, you deserve this!!!

Answer 10

you need to talk with a counselor and talk this out it would help better cope with the situation you sound very overwhelmed and angry talking this out will help so much. i know this sounds rather bold but you will be better off without him. as far as the gatric bypass i would hold off until you talk with someone this is a rough proceedure to go thru. take care