My husband of 8 years is drinking 2-3x a week..I know he is drunk, because he is funny and relaxed. Is this bad for my kids they are 5 and 6? They don't know he is drunk, but will this mess them up in the future. He is not violent or stupid..though I have asked him not to drink, he is hiding it and disrespecting my wishes. I just want to do what is best for the kids..He drinks around 7pm and it is at home..
2007-12-03 13:15:18 · 12 answers · asked by josiejo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he gets drunk everytime he drinks then yes it's bad. The kids will see that and when they become teenagers, they will start drinking.
2007-12-03 13:28:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be drinking 2-3x's a week now but trust me he WILL get gradually worse and drink on a nightly basis. He does have a problem NOW and it only gets worse over time. He may never become violent or drive while drinking but it IS a big problem for you and your kids. They are old enough now to realize Daddys acting different, once they are older they will put 2 and 2 together and go out and try it themselves.
Talk to him again and tell him how you feel, if it doesn't work and I'm not too sure it will you may have to leave him if and only if you think you can't live with him drinking.
Email me if you need someone to talk to about this steffany2u@yahoo
Good Luck!
2007-12-03 21:43:55 · answer #2 · answered by dixie_n_pixie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not say how much he drinks. An alcoholic is someone that has to drink to get through the day. I do not think that your husband having a few a week is that bad. He is at home and he does not act ignorant. He does not drink and drive and he does not get violent. Those are the things that will mess up your kids. I don't think what you husband is doing will do that.
2007-12-03 21:23:44 · answer #3 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, it's bad for your husband to drink around the kids but at the same time count your blessing that he's not in a bar wasting his money away or meeting other women. I feel he should drink after the kids go to bed. This way the kids don't see him drink and you get to keep an eye on your husband.
My wife used to get upset because I used to sit in front of the big screen TV on Sunday to watch an NFL game and drink beer in a opaque cup.
2007-12-03 21:52:23 · answer #4 · answered by Rafa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is tough. Seems like your husband is a "responsible" drunk. He is at home and he doesn't appear to be violent or abusive to you or the children.
Are you asking him to give up drinking altogether? That may not be a fair compromise. Talk to him about drinking when the children aren't around. Otherwise, he will continue to sneak to drink.
2007-12-03 21:28:53 · answer #5 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drinking creates an unstable environment for you and your kids. Nobody likes secrets kept away and that creates insecurity between your relationship. Talk to him about this issue and try to make a decision based on the kids, not what you or him want but what's best for the family as a whole.
2007-12-03 21:20:29 · answer #6 · answered by lilxerica 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What's wrong with that? If he's not violent and he's not out at the bar all nite, then why are you making a big deal of it? I assure you, if you do, he WILL start going to the bars and staying out all nite. Is that what you really want? If he only does it in the evenings and doesn't get sloppy drunk, then don't worry about it.
2007-12-03 21:35:02 · answer #7 · answered by Kathy R 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it is something for you to keep an eye on, and it sounds like you are. Some men/women drink and never become violent, others will become progressively and increasingly violent.
2007-12-03 21:21:44 · answer #8 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They say drinking runs in the family so your children are at high risk to be drinkers also. If your husband is hiding it from you then he is feeling ashamed and he may want to stop but doesn't know how. It's an addiction. What is causing the addiction?
2007-12-03 21:22:53 · answer #9 · answered by April First 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to leave now :~) I'm sorry I know that may seem harsh to you, I was married to A man who, at first, was never
@ home and drank out of the house. While my 2 boys were still babies. When I convinced him it was cheaper to drink @ home, he started to. He started to boss me around and yell A
LOT!
Anyway, making A l..o..n..g.. story short; I ended up leaving him 5 dys. before our 16th. anniversary, He passed away 2
mos. after our 17th. anniversary.
To answer your main question; it seems Innocent now, it will get worse!!! What your children see makes them want to "Be
like Dad." They may not act like they see or know what's going on, BUT, thew KNOW! (their not stupid, they see
everything we, Parents, do) How do you think they learn things. WE ARE THEIR BIGGEST FIRST INFLUENCE!!!
2007-12-03 21:40:36 · answer #10 · answered by shastacat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋