This is more poetic prose than most of your other poetry. I don't see much imagery, but suddenly am amazed by the image "thoughts swim in darker waters," a sort of Dante-like Hell. You reinforce this by saying that "sadness will COMBUST"--the fires of that dark Hell.
(You are too talented to be thinking so often of suicide; you have too much to give the world).
2007-12-03 21:39:32
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answer #1
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answered by Elaine P...is for Poetry 7
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thank you for letting me understand that's in basic terms the hollow. i anticipate greater. it somewhat is an high quality poem, a ballad worth of a television tutor! i admire the alternative of your vocabulary. that's reliable and alluring, holding me into the story as you demonstrate the info. I even googled Lake Croix for background awareness. It shows as against tells. S2 L3 "If in user-friendly terms, if in user-friendly terms, if suitable to contemplate". i think there are too many "If easiest" interior the line. might are attempting "If maximum appropriate... specific, if in user-friendly terms to make us evaluate." Or regardless of else that fits your poem. S3 L3 why "yull"? given which you at the instant are not bobbing up a community language, and don't use different words, it style of feels to be a typo of you would be waiting to. S6 L3 "no females was once impressive, sorry I feign" Did you make the main of feign to rhyme or were you pretending that "no women individuals" replaced into as quickly as truthfully now not so great? S7 L2 - the relationship with tank is unusual. i understand you're in tents, different than you moved because of the actuality 5" of water could create a unpredicted flood. what's the reason? Did you progression? S8 L4 - passable ending. you have us apprehensive on your poem, the story of 6 adult adult males the area best 3 stay. great cliff hanger. Write some greater. I seem forward to components 2 and 3 and useful greater. info make the story. i could desire to understand how they dealt with the hurricane that evening. i've got faith it somewhat is enormous given which you let us know interior the hollow that as quickly as there have been 6, now there are 3. .
2016-10-02 06:16:25
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answer #2
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answered by ? 4
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I like it a lot! I like how you played off of the fact that most poetry tends to be sad. Sadness does inspire poetry. Your poem is very true, and that is one thing that I think is hard for poets to come across. Very good!
2007-12-03 13:12:29
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answer #3
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answered by vagabond. 5
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Cool poem, send it into Poetry.com
(& see if you will win or get it published)
I agreesadness inspires more
but also sounds like you are depressed.
(or at least by the last 2 lines makes it sound like you may do something 'regrettable')
I hope that is not the case.
2007-12-03 13:11:19
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answer #4
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answered by red_e_freddie 3
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Contentment is the enemy of invention - you never hear of anyone being perfectly miserable as they are.
I can recomend manic depression - short bouts of hyper creativity followed by inspiring bouts of introspective nightmares, which nicely sets you up for the next bout of creativity.
2007-12-03 15:12:57
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answer #5
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answered by miserable old git 3
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So sadness is your true fuel. Your motivation. Your reason why you go on. Another meaning and use for saddness.
2007-12-03 14:48:55
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answer #6
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answered by ? 5
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sadness does indeed color your world, tho, from time to time there also seems a break from it and a very witty, funny person comes on thru.
2007-12-03 16:19:06
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answer #7
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answered by Poetry 3
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another sad poem & i totally agree that colors that you feel when your sad is a color of darkness . been there to ..
2007-12-04 00:47:56
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answer #8
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answered by Snuggles 7
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ahhhh thats sad, where do u come up with this stuff, sadness sux
2007-12-03 13:11:55
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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I like this one better....
2007-12-03 13:50:27
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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