she has everything i wished for at her age. i can't help wondering why she is always complaining that she's not happy. she has worked hard for what she has but there's always something missing or not right with her. can anyone understand this?
2007-12-03 12:36:42 · 23 answers · asked by jay Lo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Because, money, position, and things, don't mean a thing if you don't have some one whom you love and who loves you in return, to share it with.
2007-12-03 12:51:22 · answer #1 · answered by jenx 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is just slightly older, and has brought up two children, (now 15 and 17) on her own, she to has her health, a nice home, but...something no-one can give her, as yet....companionship, she says that although she has all these things, she's lonely, especially at night time when the girls are 'doing their on things and she is on her own with her thoughts, and this sometimes gets her angry and frustrated.
As you know it's difficult for women, to go out and mix, unless you've got an abundance of friends (my daughters friends or either now married, or with partners), and 'going to pubs and clubs' on her own, is dangerous, and not an option.
Your daughter has company during the day, probably at work, and this fulfills her time, but it's the evenings when I think that maybe she becomes depressed ?
She's not complaining, she's trying to talk to you, to get you to understand how she feels, and as her mum, who else can she turn to ?
All you can do is be supportive. What about choosing one night per week when you both go out together, say for a drink, a film, a meal, or even go play 'bingo' anything that will get her out, and relieve the tension/stress.
I know it's not ideal, but she really needs to meet people right now, outside of work hours, and join in..having fun, with her mum, until she meets someone that can give her that 'something' she's so desperately looking for.
It sounds as if she wants to be your 'little girl' again, and I think some serious 'cuddles' are in order..it could do you good as well and bring you closer together.
Hope she's soon happy again..you sound a loving and caring mum..
Good luck
a freind (female) x
2007-12-03 21:10:30 · answer #2 · answered by CARAMAC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you wished for all of those things at her age, she is a separate person.
She is most likely watching a lot of her friends become part of a couple and marry or at least maintain committed relationships; and may be finding that she is feeling lonely.
Would she be upset if you asked her if something is wrong?
Are you sure that you are not projecting these feelings of something being wrong because you want her to be part of a couple, are thinking about grandchildren and are hoping that she wants to change her life?
If you do decide to ask her, be ready for the answer to be that she is perfectly fine. Sometimes as parents we can overanalyze everything even when our children are all grown up.
Good luck and have a good day.
2007-12-03 20:52:52 · answer #3 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a bit of a long-winded explantation, but bear with me!!
If you take for example, George Best - that famous footballer. He had money, good looks, was great at what he did, and had plenty of women. But yet, he was totally miserable. He had worked for all this, but it meant nothing to him, because it didn't make him happy.
Maybe it's the same sort of thing with your daughter. A person could have all the material things in the world, and it might not make them happy, because it may mean nothing to them - that might not be what they want from life. What one person wants, and aims for out of life is different from another person. I don't know - you need to talk to her if she's miserable and ask her why.
It could be that with all this great career, and great money, and great health, that she has no time for herself, or it isn't what she really wants. She needs to figure out what would make her happy, and make the adjustments. Maybe she has just worked hard for what she thinks she should have, but it's not what she wants to have.
The best thing you could do for her is accept that she isn't happy, and talk to her. Listen, and just let her know that you are there for her, because I am sure that she would love that, and she'd love to know that there was someone there for her.
It could be anything from her thinking that she has to stay in the career that she is working so hard for, yet stresses her out completely, or she doesn't like it.
Just ask her what to change, if she could, and then suggest ways in which she could make that happen, or as practical ways as possible.
What I've said could not be relevant to the situation, but it's just a few possible ways that she could be feeling. You'll never know unless you talk to her. It's great that you want to help her, but you'll never know what's wrong unless you talk to her. She may be the best one to answer your question!
I hope that helps!
2007-12-03 20:52:35 · answer #4 · answered by azure 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She is never happy because she is single. Maybe she would like to have a family and a bay.
I hope she will find love very quikely.
Take care
2007-12-04 08:33:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe material things don't matter to her - maybe she wants to share her life with someone special... Maybe her job doesn't feel meaningful to her... there could be many reasons why she doesn't feel happy... but she should get to the bottom of her unhappiness and address the real cause so she can get on with her life and not worry you anymore!!! Maybe she should talk to a therapist to help her identify the problem.
2007-12-03 20:44:39 · answer #6 · answered by lyndlyn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm at a similar age and have all those things too, but i would really live a partner in my life. Love makes the world go round. :o)
2007-12-04 00:07:55 · answer #7 · answered by farleyjackmaster 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are natural "black holes", spreading gloom and despondancy.
Perhaps she is miserabole because she is single or single because she is miserable. Either way she needs to realise her fate is in her own hands. Don't moan, MOVE.
2007-12-04 07:36:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people arent happy no matter what the situation,and im willing to bet when you confront her about it she bites your head off and denies it,you just have to let her carry on in her own way and perhaps one day she will be swept off her feet,and not be able to do anything but smile all day long,good luck.
2007-12-04 01:35:21 · answer #9 · answered by fozz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps she isn't fully ready to discuss THE real reason with you--give her space. I'm sure one day she will explain everything to you and don't be surprise if it's totally difference from what you have imagined.
2007-12-03 20:49:02 · answer #10 · answered by Joan J 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋