No interest in infants?

Question

Im 33 and would like to have a child in a couple of years when my husband and I have reached our financial goals. I like kids in general, well behaved kids who have seen some discipline in their lifetime, but infants dont do it for me. diapers, screaming, burping, peeing, pooping, barfing, the thought of all that just grosses me out for a lack of better words. Am I alone or do other women out there feel the same?????

Answer 1

It seems like you are saying that you want to have a child, but are not crazy about the baby stage? So... your not a baby person... you'll get through it. You'll probably feel differently about it when you have your own, but it's just a stage and it goes by quickly. Soon enough they'll be walking and talking and onto the toddler stage and beyond which would probably be more enjoyable for you.

Answer 2

No, you're not alone. I had a baby because I liked children, not because I liked babies.

Now that I have a baby, though, I'm a huge fan of babies.

You mean, though, "who have seen some love in their lifetime." A well-cuddled baby is generally a low-fuss baby. And then a secure low-whine toddler, and then a polite and pleasant child. I'm the oldest of four, and none of my siblings were the sort of squalling pains that put so many people off the whole reproduction racket.

They have personalities from day one. Don't underestimate infants -- they do a lot more than use up diapers.. Desmond Morris' "Babywatching" is a good read if you're at all curious.

Answer 3

You are not alone. I was like that for a long time until I got pregnant with my son. Something about having a baby that is your own flesh and blood changes everything. Now that I've had my son I really don't mind the dirty diapers, the screaming, the crying, etc. because I love him too much to let those thing bother me. In fact I wouldn't mind having another child sometime in the near future.

Answer 4

I'm only 18 years old so I really can not answer this question, but I think it is a good thing you guys are waiting until you both are financially stable before having a child. The way you think now, chances are it will change once you have the baby. It is a bond between mother and child. We all have to face it and deal with it at one point or another. Suck it up and be prepared....

Answer 5

Those well-behaved kids that you like didn't get that way by magic. It happens through being brought up by loving parents who are willing to sacrifice their comfort and financial goals, put up with and work through all the disagreeable aspects of babyhood, the tantrums and defiance of the "terrible twos," the selfishness and messiness of the preschooler, the anxieties and hurt feelings of early elementary school, etc. etc. And then when they hit adolescence, parenting gets harder still, to say nothing of getting them ready for college and an independent life. If you gross out easily, parenthood may not be for you. If you are honest enough to be able to admit this to yourself, I applaud you. Plenty of parents don't think it through and do a lousy job. There are other ways to have children in your life, including mentoring, volunteering at schools, getting involved in arts programs, etc. If you can't bond with an infant, chances are you won't be able to handle all the down side of an older kid either. So, continue to think it over carefully. You are not alone in how you feel, but you are one of the few who cares enough to think it through ahead of time. More power to you.

Answer 6

My sisters are the same way. They chose not to have any children, however, for different reasons.

You just have to get over it.

BTW, my neighbors waited to start conceiving until they reached their financial goals. Then they discovered that they couldn't get pregnant. Have since taken out a 2nd mortgage on the home to pay for IVF. Don't wait too long. She is only 33.

Answer 7

I actually love the whole baby thing. If and When you get pregnant you create a bond with your baby and you'll wonder why you ever felt that way. And when you see your precious baby for the first time and hold him/her, you'll never want to let go. you're view will change. And if it doesn't, just adopt foster kids that need a home and bond with older children. It's a win win situation. Good Luck.

Answer 8

Just try and keep in mind that we all start as infants. You don't hate yourself, right?
If you REALLY don't want a baby, then don't have one. No law says you have to.
I know many women who never wanted babies or weren't too into them, like you. Once they did have one though, everything changed. I'm not saying poop and puke is marvelous, but it all fades away when you look at that beautiful, innocent face. And it just gets better! They smile and laugh at you, hug and cuddle you, call you Mommy and truly show unconditional love! I never knew I could love someone as much as I love my daughter, despite the poop explosions and spit up and tantrums.
You aren't alone in your feelings, but I'd bet anything you could push them aside once you meet your baby!

Answer 9

Felt the same way about all kids until I was 30 - then I wanted MY own babies. Its different when its your own child, other peoples kids are not as cute or smart or wonderful as my own.

Hope you're able to achieve your goals when you're ready to have kids. Sometimes 35 is too late.

Answer 10

I am 34, and just had my first one. I shocked all of my friends, because I was so anti-kid all of my life. I mean I didn't like anybodies kids! I have 3 nephews, and really didn't know how to bond with them, either. Well, now that I have one of my own, it's all different! I could never have imagined so much love!