Why am I considered "not beautiful"?

Question

Why are black women not considered beautiful if they do not have soft, some say "white", features? Like narrow nose, small mouth, and silky hair. I am a light skinned black girl with "heavy" features and I did a poll on myself I few weeks ago and asked people a set of questions pertaining to how I looked. All I got was your nose and lips are too big, you skin is discolorated, "more of soft featue guy". But before that I posted pics that did not show my features well, and all I got was you're beautiful, pretty, I'll date you, etc. I did not change my hair and wore no make up in either of the pics, the only thing I changed is the lighting. Now be honest. Why are "heavy" features not considered beautiful in society? Why is it when a black woman has big, not "full", lips, or a wide nose she is not considered beautiful? But other women can slightly hold those features and they are beautiful?

*no critisizing me, I'm fine with who I am. Just stick to the topic plz :)

Answer 1

I know what you are talking about. I mean, people are more likely to say Beyonce is beautiful than Queen Latifah. But if you really look at them they _are_ both beautiful.

I really think that part of it is what people are trained to think, through the media and the other cultural influences around them. But I do think that's only part of it.

Apparently a lot of what people find attractive has to do with symmetry and proportion. The width of your lips should have a certain ratio with the width of your face and the width of your nose. This proportion (the "divine" proportion) can be found in people of all races. It's actually really interesting. This is all shown in the very funny and informative documentary "The Human Face".

My features don't follow the "beauty" proportions either. My mouth and nose are actually too tiny for my face. Too tiny or too big, it doesn't really matter as long as it's not the right proportion.

Check out the websites below. They have to do with proportion and beauty and show some of the ideas that are in the documentary.

Answer 2

Well, I saw a documentary on the topic of beauty and why humans have a specific idea of what is considered beautiful. It was very interesting because the researchers could trace our ideas of what is attractive to men and women all the way to our hormones and genes.

Some ideas about beauty are cultural. For example, some native tribes prefer women with large hips and fat waists because it symbolizes wealth and good child-bearing.

But I suspect you are talking about what is beautiful to most developed countries and cultures we know today. In that case, the researchers said that the features most men find attractive in a women are--as you stated--narrow nose, small mouth and wide eyes. This is because these features project a vulnerable, child-like femininity that appeals to the male hormones. This type of female look subconsciously sends an "I need you to protect me" "You're stronger" feeling. It appeals to their sense of manhood whether a man realizes this or not.

On the other hand, women subconsciously are attracted to male features that are more manly and masculine. Ask yourself about what male facial features turn you off or on. A man with "soft" features mostly likely are not attractive.

Perhaps a "wide" nose is more masculine in nature than feminine. Also a more symmetrical face is considered more attractive according to research.

Of course, beauty is in the eye of the beholder so all research aside, everyone is beautiful to someone. That's all that matters.

Answer 3

Very interesting question. I think it's because small features are so idealized in American society. Even though I am tall and medium/slim, I have huge hands (size 9) and I can't stand them. In my last job I was the only white person, everyone else was black. They liked to make fun of me for "having no booty" but I just thought them joking around. I even envied some of my co-workers lips because mine are pretty thin. I spent 3 years there and I think that black women with "heavy" features can be quite good-looking. I think as long as any woman takes care of herself, is well-groomed, and nice, there shouldn't be any reason to consider her unattractive, and I do mean that. Those were the girls I really admired.

Answer 4

Everyone is beautiful in there own way. You shouldn't care what others say because God will find a way to punish them. Every race has a feature in them that is mind blowing. African americans have good hair skills and beautiful skin [at least I think so]. NOT TO MENTION THEM SEXY LIPS! Big lips are TWO TIMES better than nasty SKINNY LIPS that you can't even SEE! Don't worry girl, I won't criticize you, because I am no one to be telling you anything. The only thing that I can tell you is to not pay attention to others, for they do not know what they say. And may God forgive them. You are beautiful. Believe it cause you are!

Answer 5

welcome to stereotypical beauty norms defined by society :( i'm an asian indian girl and i personally find 'big' features a lot more attractive than the atypical caucasian ones you see on television. while my features are somewhat closer to the norm (narrow nose, small mouth, hair etc.) the fact that i'm not all that fair makes for a lot of criticism, even within my own ethnic group! i guess you could say that we're forced to think a particular way because of how the media (and thus society) portrays or defines beauty. if you see a particular image plastered all over what you read or see, you begin to believe it. it's an unfortunate fact. i think you shouldn't buy into what any of those people say, seeing as how THEY might not even be all that attractive themselves. it's time we define what we think is beautiful, and if anybody else doesn't see it that way, it's really their own shortcoming.

Answer 6

Research is showing that many forms of beauty are biological. For example, symmetrical faces are rated much higher in attractiveness that non-symmetrical.

Most of the world, considers beauty as a balance between the face and facial features. And beauty is a whole package. For example, a woman with flawless skin, silken hair, and captivating eyes will not be considered beautiful if she has a large hooked nose.

To summarize, beauty is a combination of cultural and biological functions.

Answer 7

I think black women are beautiful and I am a white girl. I am jealous of lots of features that black women have. I wish I could have amazing full lips. Don't let others bug you hun because this society wants us all to believe that unless you are a size zero without any flaws you are ugly and that is the farthest from the truth.

Answer 8

I guess maybe the "heavy" feature just is a surprize like if you had a really skinny girl and went up from her feet to her head and she had a big nose you would see it and just be like wow there is a nose there. Where as if it wasn't big she just look normal like plan. It's like a shock kinda thingy.
And also the world is a mean mean place and people on the net can say what they want and get away with it.

Answer 9

Our society is just like that. We get hooked on one type of girl that we consider beautiful and we only like that type and ours happens to be thin, thin-featured, white and usually long hair, full lips, etc. These features are culturally acceptable but that doesn't mean everyone thinks they are beautiful. I personally see beauty in a lot of different shapes and sizes and features. Lots of people will think you are beautiful, just not those who answered your post. Don't listen to them! You said you are comfortable with yourself so don't worry others will see your confidence and find THAT beautiful.

Answer 10

Honey, in Africa you would be the epidomy of beautiful. In america, even the girl next door is required to get plastic surgury to be called a 10. I think that we have standars of beauty in every culture, country, and place, and it can be very different everywhere.
Those "hard" features may have served your ancestors some purpose, and I am sure that there are people that seek those kind of features out in a potential mate.

People are just harsh, and subject to the medias version of beautiful. remember, it is what sells!