We both are in love with each other and it was something that just happened. We work with each other and both look out for one another. I caught my husband cheating about 6 years ago and have been alone until I met this one man. I always said I would never date a married man, so I guess that saying never say never is kind of true. Please don't pass judgement just make comments. When we are together we have alot of fun and the sex is also great...... We both think we are soul mates. At times we say no more we are going to end it, but then we both call one another and and the feeling goes away.
2007-12-03 11:40:35 · 53 answers · asked by queenstopaz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Obviously you know it's wrong. You've been through it and know the pain all to well. Makes it even more unbelievable that you have let yourself become the mistress. Consider also, if he left the wife what makes you think he'd be faithful to you. If he was your soul mate he'd have divorced the wife to be with you already. He wouldn't try to end it over and over. There are more men out there. Try sticking to the single ones from now and if you want to date I recommend getting divorced first. I think it's time to move on.
2007-12-03 11:48:03 · answer #1 · answered by MISS H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know someone in the same situation. He is 7 years older than her and they recently just met about 3 weeks ago and have a true connection. They both feel it and unfortunately they both are married. They didn't lie about being married either, which is a good thing. His wife is back in Mexico and they have 3 kids, her husband is in Honduras and they have no kids.
Talk about a soap opera lol! I've known my friend for a long time and she said that she would NEVER cheat on her husband as well as NEVER be with a married man. But you can't help who you fall for and who you have a connection with.
I am sure that you and my friend are NOT the only ones out there who are going through this same thing.
Just take day by day. That is the only thing you can do. Sometimes two people marry the wrong people and end up finding their soulmates.
I will say a prayer for you and wish you luck! :)
I would also like to add that I believe everything happens for a reason. :)
2007-12-03 13:17:22 · answer #2 · answered by Megan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you use this as an opportunity to look more closely at your marriage. Sometimes affairs happen even in good marriages, and if that is the case, if your marriage is basically all right (despite your husband's affair) then you need to end the affair, the sooner the better.
However, sometimes affairs happen because the marriage is dead and should have ended long ago. If that's the case, end the marriage. This does not necessarily mean you will or should end up with this other guy. Sometimes the "other guy" is more of a wake-up call than a real prospect for a relationship.
All that said, I feel for you; I've been in your shoes. I left the marriage and ended up not with the "other man" but with someone else entirely, quite some time later. It was tough but it all worked out. I had a lot of help from a counselor, though; you might want to get some professional advice on this one.
2007-12-03 12:50:32 · answer #3 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although you hate what they are doing to their spouses, telling their spouses is only going to give you temporary satisfaction. For starters, you run a very high risk of losing this friend that you've had for so long. She may be doing something you don't approve of, but she has trusted you enough to let you in on it. No matter how "right" it would seem to blow the whole thing wide open, it is still a betrayal of her trust. If your conscience still has the best of you and you are intent on telling, it is probably best to find a way to tell the secret anonymously. I recommend dropping a note to the wife of your friend's lover. Since you do not know her as well as you know the other three people embroiled in all this that makes it all the less likely that it will come back on you. A simple note is best--don't identify the woman her husband is having an affair with. Just let her know its happening. If you must sign the note sign it "a friend" and make sure it is typed and not in your handwriting. The wife will find a way to get to the bottom of it. Even if your friend is forced to call off her affair, there really is nothing to stop her from having another one. You might want to encourage your friend to go to counseling to find ways to make her marriage a happier situation for herself and her husband...or...you might want to start making new friends, friends that more closely share your own morals and values. Good luck. :)
2016-05-28 01:39:27 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is no hope for your marriage, why didn't you get a divorce? I've always felt there is no future in a relationship when the person you are involved with is cheating on someone else to be with you. What makes you think he would not do the same thing to you. He may also feel you could do the same thing to him. You were not honest with your husband and you know how it feels to be cheated on. He's doing the same thing to his wife. If you are in love and feel you are soul mates you must both be honest with your spouses so you can have a fighting chance at your new relationship.
2007-12-03 11:53:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IS it right? No. plus i do not buy into the soul mate thing, it simply doesn't exist OK. Now what you really need to find out is why do you feel so good with him? is it indeed because you feel lonely? or is it lust? if you answer yes to both questions then you have the wrong guy for the wrong reasons. It is obvious to me that you fell for something taboo in a time of despair. you shouldd reconsider your actions and think if it is worth the gamble. if you two are sincere then you shoul no longer impose this on your husband and should leave him ... BUT ... by doing so think of the fact that your boyfriend would have to leave his wife and they might be happy together for all we know. yo would be a home wrecker and would punish an innocent person ... his wife (and maybe both of you if you two have kids) there is way too much involved in this to be correct. sorry. good luck.
2007-12-03 12:01:22 · answer #6 · answered by caliguy_30 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One should never cross that tempting line. I've been a good girl, thank God! Your husband violated your marriage with adultery and you are free to forgive him if you can and mend the relationship, if not you should do the proper thing divorce him and move on. Your new lover (married man), you are a convenience to him and you are both playing each other, sounds a little like lust, however; it's not good what you two are doing, it is a violation of the sanctity of marriage. I was offered an expensive gift for Christmas and who turns down diamonds and gold, I told this guy a tee shirt would be appropriate, I adore my other half and respect him highly.
2007-12-03 12:18:24 · answer #7 · answered by Titus12 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did you feel when you found out your husband was cheating on you? I guess, in your opinion, his wife deserves to feel the same way . Nothing just happens. You both made the CHOICE to be unfaithful. Get a divorce and let his spouse begin the healing process. I am always surprised at how people try to justify what they are doing when they know they shouldn't be doing it in the first place. I hope that there aren't any kids involved.
2007-12-03 12:06:08 · answer #8 · answered by M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both should get a divorce and marry each other if you really feel that strongly, just be sure that it is a real and deep, deep, thing and not a fickle feeling. It's easy being happy when there is just sex and no responsibility, like paying bills and sharing the everyday struggles and ups and downs of life. If you make this decision you should be able to know, in your hearts of hearts, that you will be together forever. Good luck!
2007-12-03 11:51:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
O.K Well you need too both make a decision, if this relationship means that much too both of you, then you need too make a choice wether you want too stay in your marriage or get a divorce. This can only end up in the worse way. This man, I hate too be the one too break it too you. I dare you too give him an ultimatum, leave your wife and be with me or it's over between us. Just see what his reaction will be. I bet you will be suprised. I'm sure it's, I can't do that right now, the kids, the job, the house etc. Leave your looser husband, and find someone that is not married, that you both can be happy with.
2007-12-03 11:47:43 · answer #10 · answered by beautiful806 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋