how do you react when you catch your20 year old kid smoking dope when you done everything to prevent it.?

Answer 1

Offer to help get him into treatment. If he declines, inform him that unless he has his possessions out of your home in the next 48 hours, that he will find them on the front lawn.

Answer 2

Unfortunately there's nothing you can do to prevent it. You can only do your best to make sure your children have all the right information, which you seem to have done. The worst thing you can do is flip out... which you have probably already done; a natural reaction. But at 20 it's difficult to know what to do. You can't exactly ground him/her, and if your son/daughter is smoking dope then you can probably guarantee that his/her friends are doing the same thing. You know your own child better than anyone, and simply throwing them out is not a great idea. At least when he/she is still living under your roof you can monitor the situation. You will be able to smell it on his/her breath. But you need to make it clear that you will not condone this behaviour in your home. Smoking dope is not clever, but because of peer pressure your son/daughter is likely to be infulenced by friends. You could be really harsh and threaten to tell the law if you suspect it continues. But there is little you can say or do to change things. I wish I could be more helpful, but all I can really say is 'been there' and to reassure you that kids generally grow out of this act of sheer stupidity that is looked on, sadly, as little more than a social activity these days. Smoking one joint is the equivaltent to smoking 5 cigarettes, and smoking causes cancer, harsh but true.

Answer 3

A 20 year old is not a "kid" and sadly you don't have much to say about his choices unless he is smoking in your house.

You have every right to tell him to not smoke pot in your house. However, there is nothing much you can do about his choices outside your house, unless his smoking is affecting his actions, IN your house.

If he was say 15 or 16 you would have some say, but even then if he makes a choice to smoke anyway, away from the house, there is not much you can do about it.

The only other alternative, is to tell him to leave, but that is up to you. If his smoking is affecting his judgment, creating problems for you and your family, then you should ask him to leave. If it is not really affecting you, or your family, besides him doing something you don't want him to do, there is nothing you can about it..

Answer 4

That depends...

Is he acting like a complete tool, with no job, not in school, and letting the dope run (and ruin) his life? If so, then I'd probably have to agree with Michele.

OR

Is he acting like a regular, contributing member of society, with a good job, or getting good grades in school? If so, I'd probably lump it into the same bucket as occasional drinking, and not worry too much about it.

Answer 5

first of all your 20yr old is not a kid but an adult, making decisions that will affect them and maybe you. you had an opportunity to instill your moral and values and your child opted not to accept them.