We seem to fight about the same issues over and over, and never reach a good conclusion. It seems as if he either gets his way, or we keep fighting. Our fights are very mild, more like a discussion that feels like it never ends. I'm so tired of this. I want to focus on the good points of my marriage, but these issues just keep coming up - how should I deal with this?
2007-12-03 10:40:54 · 17 answers · asked by emmyfair 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're developing resentment because you're giving in. Continue discussing your point as you always have, but this time, see your own point through to fruition. Some points don't have a place of convergence...you just both have to agree to disagree. That's fine, too. But giving in just to make the conversation stop produces the feelings you're having now which obviously don't work for you. Good luck.
2007-12-03 10:48:14 · answer #1 · answered by Captain S 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I have been married for 5 years now, and we have issues that we still "discuss" from time-to-time. If you do go to counseling, you counselor will focus on these specific hot points in your marriage.
One issue that most couples have is money. One spouse spends more than the other is comfortable with, usually. One way to get closer to a solution when you're arguing is saying the word, "feel". For example, "Honey, I feel uncomfortable about not spending enough on our furniture. I think the furniture looks too cheap, and that the slightly more expensive furniture set will last longer and look better."
2007-12-03 10:54:56 · answer #2 · answered by kusheng 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The two of you need to stop yelling about it. Let it sit for a little bit so you can think of better ways to actually resolve the issue instead of racing circles. If you keep doing the same thing but the same argument is coming up, it means that what you are doing is not effective and you need to try something new. Tell him just because he keeps kicking the mountain doesn't mean it is going to move.
2007-12-03 10:49:41 · answer #3 · answered by MJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So he keeps the argument going and you give in. He is being selfish so this pattern doesn't bother him. My guess is he needs to develop some empathy skills and counseling could help that, although I will bet he will resist and argue about going in the hopes he can talk you out of it.
Here is a test. Say it like this to him. Tell him that you are really upset about the communication patterns with the two of you, it is continually distressing and is making you feel really really bad. You would like him to help you feel better by attending therapy with you.
See how he reacts to this --- if it is NO WAY, GO YOURSELF, OR I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT --- then he is big time selfish and unless he changes his behavior this is not getting any better.
2007-12-03 10:56:16 · answer #4 · answered by George 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have some grammar errors in this. probable from typing to quickly. i decide to propose you reread this aloud and fix it. some examples cheating you on you minorly, you tell em you want, you're to lie beside plus there have been fairly some run ons. oh yeah you're a canine for cheating on a woman who made you experience so wonderful and you're so in love with. i'm hoping if she takes you lower back you will stay as much as this letter. that's going to be much less approximately you and greater approximately what you will do for her. and flow away out the rape. you want her to have heat fuzzies after examining this, no longer flashbacks
2016-10-19 01:19:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How is that a good marriage? Are you a brain surgeon? Get divorced so your husband doesn't have to deal with you anymore. No wonder you fight all the time you didn't make sense on your first sentence.
2007-12-03 13:38:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is perfectly normal. I know my parents love each other, but they fight, just like I do with my best friends and my sister. If it's bothering you this much, you should talk to him about it and see if it's bothering him too. If it is, you don't need counseling, only to talk to each other in a comfortable setting, like your living room or maybe even your bed. If it isn't, perhaps then you should seek marriage counseling.
2007-12-03 11:03:41 · answer #7 · answered by Bella2193 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop seeing yourself as a victim, I'm sure he has many redeeming qualities but you are hung up on small stuff. Be glad that's all you have to complain about and get happy by focusing on the positive!
2007-12-03 10:53:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good marriage has several key elements...and communication and compromising are two of those elements...I would suggest that you both seek counseling...to see exactly why your husband feels he always has to have his way....and can't compromise with you...
2007-12-03 10:56:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get help. Remember the "give and take" part of Marriage... sounds like that is missing. This won't go away on its own.
2007-12-03 11:02:47 · answer #10 · answered by . 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋