me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years and we currently had a little girl. a few years ago he cheated on me and was talking on the phone with other girls. it still is a big arguement between us and now i have trust issues. how do you handle putting that behind you?
2007-12-03 10:38:53 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have to learn how to forgive beloved...this was years ago and you are still holding onto it? Forgiving...really forgiving is something that comes through an intimate relationship with God first. When you can appreciate how He forgives you of your sin, then you can forgive someone else.
This may seem way off to you but do you realize that when you live in sin, there really is no such thing as being 'faithful'...because you are being unfaithful to God in the first place? You cant demand fidelity in something that is defiled at the root.
I encourage you to seek God for yourself. When you become faithful to Him first...He will show you how to forgive others fully. Till then, the same unforgiveness you hold against your boyfriend, God holds against YOU....
my husband and I will lift you both in prayer~
2007-12-03 10:46:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently, you didn't get all of your questions answered back when it happened. Did you find out, fight, and let it "slide"?
Often, when couples go to counseling to work out infidelity, they make the couple talk candidly about the affair. If the "cheatee" has any questions for the "cheater" they make them answer them, that way you know everything...and "why" it happened....that way, nothing is left to the imagination. If questions are still running through your head, get them out into the open, or this will continue to happen.
After you know everything, and have nothing to wonder about, you will gradually get over it. Also, your boyfriend should be supportive of your trust issues, and be willing to let you know where he is at all times, and that you can call him whenever you want. He can let you check his email...whatever it takes, Eventually, you'll regain the trust. Good luck!
2007-12-03 10:45:24 · answer #2 · answered by Student Doctor House 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has cheated on you several times from how you word your question... it is right for you to be worried. A woman always needs to ask herself..is it right for me to raise a child with a man who is incapable of self control... because usually a little girl will end up with the same kind of man later, wonderfing how the heck things got that way.
IF you truly believe he is done cheating.. simply ask to see his cell phone bill online for the past ten months. If he refuses ..then you have your answer. Do not bother getting mad. It will affect your daughter.
Simply prepare for the worst.. make sure you have a good job.. a place to go to when you leave there.. plenty of savings ... and then ask to see his cell phone bill online. The whole bill with the detailed list of numbers called and incoming ...for the past ten months. If he refuses then you have your answer.
If he lets you see it.. actually SEE it with your own eyes ..don't just say "ok, you do not have to show me since you said I could see it " assume he is not cheating and then ask pardon for not believing and continue and be a loving WIFE ( get married ) .. and God bless.
2007-12-03 10:57:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you forgot to say i still love him alot. maybe you love him or you want him to stay because of your little baby. just cause you and him agree to go in a counselling doesnt mean he will stop cheating or cut down on cheating. maybe he needs to grow up and be the man he is. and talk about marriage. even though he talks about marriage. maybe he will just do it just to shut you up. the best thing i can tell you, if you aint happy with him, then leave him. at least you have someone that's keeping you strong. i know how much you care about the daddy. but you need to worry about your happiness also. make the best decision for your child. and do what is best for you and keep you out of stress. good luck
2007-12-03 10:52:33 · answer #4 · answered by Junior V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has apologized a million times and you know that he is comitted to making you the only person in his life, then you have a chance. I think if you really want to make it work you need to sit down with him and express one LAST TIME that he hurt you. Then from that moment on you both agree it will not be talked about again. If you feel it starting to come up and you want to lash out on him, call a girlfriend or get into some counseling, talk to someone else about it. You need to agree with him that the subject is closed, you love him and you want it to work. You can do it and make your relationship a success.
2007-12-03 10:50:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You deal with it the best way you know how and in most cases you just put up with it,if you want to stay with your boyfriend. You can only bring it up so much until it gets to the point where he gets mad every time you bring it up. It's been 10 years for me and i still haven't put it behind me.
2007-12-03 10:56:01 · answer #6 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to make the decision that you are going to trust him or not. If not , get out of the relationship because without trust , it will never work.
2007-12-03 10:49:53 · answer #7 · answered by purplewaterhorse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its really not your issue to carry, he is the cheater, he needs to take ownership that he screwed up and not you, and he needs to be the one doing whatever he can to make you comfortable. period! No questions askeds.
2007-12-03 10:48:41 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs.G-unit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to talk to him and put your cards on the table if he does not change you better off
2007-12-03 10:46:28 · answer #9 · answered by yeal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you ask this question in the singles/dating section. Teenage stuff.
2007-12-03 14:01:43 · answer #10 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋