Do you like my poem?

Question

I banged her head against the wall,
all she could say was "Stop it all!",
I sank in pleasure and self demise,
I felt like a god and extremely wise,
all I felt is the time go by,
while the little lad all went white,
deep inside me I knew I was right,
remember it's all for benefit of Mr.Kite,
"Oh my god,let me go!" that's all she could say while the blood stained the wall,
I felt like I was at my first winter ball,
I remember when I was givin the call,
I was 16 and very tall,
but with the recurring of memories all she thought was "No!"

I continued on with one minute left,
I looked at her and saw her,she almost went,
3 seconds passed by and she had died,
her jaw broken and opened wide,
I cleaned up a bit and opened the door,
"My god,look at all the blood in the floor",
I ran and ran as fast as I can,
the sirens sounded and went "Waaaa!",
"Oh no they heard the screams!",
"Oh no,I hope I don't get seen!",
So he ran and ran down the alleys,
ran and ran thru the valleys,

He passed and passed and saw the rallies,
those big bad trucks with their sliver crallies......

Please rate and leave a comment.

Answer 1

Was it a poem or activities of your not so distant past ? Gonna check the missing persons reports in your area! Stay away from the shrooms dude!

You need therapy worse than I do.

And remember...just because it ryhmes doesn't make it a poem...

Hope the heart isn't under your floorboards...

Answer 2

Very descriptive poem, rhyming endings, and imaginitive language. You could make it to a song and cheer your friends up if they feel sad.It made me imagine seeing the poem than reading it even though there was voilence.

Answer 3

Damn, that's a very violent poem! I'll give it an 8.5! It's kinda funny!

Answer 4

very violent
a 1.5
a sugestion i would not show that at school
if u go or if it is for school

Answer 5

nice poem! i like it.

Answer 6

sure