What is "blaming the victim" in cases of sexual assault?

Question

This is a very difficult subject to talk about, especially as it seems many women posters here (and in real life) have at some point been victims of such crimes.

It is certainly true that some behaviors put women at a higher risk of falling victim to these types of crimes, yet stating this, I feel, does not blame the victim in any way. Just cold hard facts relating to alcohol, walking alone late at night and so forth.

In much the same way people are more at risk of a car accident when they drive sober on a Saturday night in a city centre, this isn't because they in any way "deserve" to be accident victims.

I also think a critical point is being overlooked in some posts, which is that the overwhelming majority of assaults are committed by people know to the victim, rather than random crimes.

Specifically, in your mind, what constitutes "blaming the victim"?

Good point Ember - a woman isn't responsible for something illegally done to her. In much the same way as you can forget to lock your car, but it still takes a thief to steal it.

Answer 1

The key word for me here is "blaming." It is one thing to say to a rape victim (male or female) that they should take care of themselves, or take responsibility for themselves--for ex. by not putting themselves in situations where someone might take advantage of them. It is quite another to say to a rape victim that the crime perpetrated against him or her was his or her fault.

When I was in grad school at Syracuse Univ., I was an educator in the campus rape center and one of the directors of a theatre troupe of peer educators, known as every 5 minutes: R.A.P.E. Forum Theatre, or e5m for short. We used to use this analogy: If a guy were walking down the street in a rough, crime-ridden, impoverished neighborhood, and he were to publicly open his wallet and flash his money, he could expect to be robbed. He would have made a serious mistake or had a lapse in judgment, but no one could rightfully say that it was his fault that he got robbed. A crime is a crime, but since these crimes do happen, we must take precautions. We must protect ourselves. Still, blaming the victim takes the onus off the perpetrator of the crime and ultimately does not solve the problem.

Answer 2

The only thing I can think to tell you is to go to the Law Library and look up exactly what this means and what you can do about it. Is the court still making this poor child see his bio-mom? I hope not!! I know these cases can be frustrating. I know that there is a person here who should be in prison for what he did but that case not only was dropped, there is no record of it anywhere. Nothing can be found not even hospital records and the physical evidence. It's a wonder what can happen when the guy who did this happens to be first cousin to the sheriff of the county that it happened in. I wish I could give you more advice. I will be praying for your little boy.

Answer 3

"It is certainly true that some behaviors put women at a higher risk of falling victim to these types of crimes, yet stating this, I feel, does not blame the victim in any way."

In this statement you are making an observation. And it is not offensive. Just wanted to take a second to make that clear.

However, when these things are pointed out to someone that has been raped it comes across as victim-blaming. It's when someone comes forward and tells you that something happened to them and it becomes a "you should have done this" or "you shouldn't have done that" or "Why did you put yourself in that position in the first place" kind of thing.

Bingo...you hit the nail right on the head. Stranger rape only accounts for about 20-30% of reported rape cases. What about date/acquaintance rape, marital rape, child sexual abuse...cases where you are raped/assaulted by someone you trust? How does the blame game get played there?

Blatant victim blaming is more:
-She asked for it.
-She wanted it...she was just playing hard to get.
-Women say no...but they really mean yes.
-She's no virgin...
-Nothing bad happened. You're just lying to get attention.
-The [accused} is such an outstanding citizen...there's no way that they could have done that.
-etc, etc, etc.

Answer 4

Rape is a crime of POWER, not sex or this or that, be it done to you by a stranger or someone you know, makes no difference. How you dress, what you drank, took or how you lost power over your own self, makes no difference. There should be no blame. Blame implies that someone in the situation is to take responsibility and to actually BLAME the victim, opens up way too much controversy. Someone has to be blamed in for defense lawyers to have a job and rapists or users or scammers have an excuse or some justification to do what they do, in their own minds.

Whatever. It is what it is. I'm sorry for being so blunt, but naivety does lend itself to the situation, therefore the word BLAME and the ability to do so should be removed.

I think that women (or men) should be MUCH MORE aware of EVERY environment in which they have the ability to be "raped".

Rape and sex hold two different definitions, one sexually oriented, and one not sexually oriented.

NO ONE should be RAPED of anything, taken from, plundered, or drawn together as two people (m/f) to be taken advantage of.

Think about blame. It definitely goes BOTH ways.

Answer 5

If a man goes to a club, gets drunk and runs into a couple of guys in the parking lot who start a friendly conversation but ends up over powering him and raping him do you blame the guy for getting drunk and looking too alluring? I don't think so, you'd blame the attackers. But if a woman gets drunk and has the same thing happen in the parking lot people would say that she shouldn't have gotten drunk, dressed a certain way and been out alone---that she was asking for it by her conduct. That's blaming the victim.

Answer 6

Blaming the victim is condoning the perpetrator's actions, excusing him, because she made herself available, drunk or helpless.
I was attacked by an employer when I was 17. It was daylight, a workplace and I wasn't drinking just as I don't drink to this day. I got away and quit. I should have pressed assault charges. That was 42 years ago and I can still remember how frightened I was as he held my hands behind my back and tried to force me into a room. Rape is not about sex, certainly not about love. The predators are looking for opportunity. Women should not mistake the fact that they must be on guard and protect themselves.
C. :)!!

Answer 7

I think that blaming the victim occurs when an individual ignores the fact that no person, man or woman, should have to participate in a sexual act against his/her will.

People blame the victim by saying comments such as "she shouldn't have worn that." She "should have known better." Women and men should have the right to go about their daily activities without constantly worrying about whether or not their behavior is going to lead to rape.

Answer 8

I would say that a lot of people share your outlook on this tragedy, because they have no idea... I used that word, because it has absolutely nothing to do with a chance, surrounding circumstances or secret desires of a female to be dominated and humiliated... We are talking about untreated mental dysfunction of a rapist. BTW, when left untreated, it turns him into a murderer some day. Now, do you seriously think, that mentally unbalanced individual who can not have a healthy sexual relationship acts only when provoked in any way or form? Also how does any healthy female would know what is going on in his sick mind?
Most of these creatures know how to keep their desires hidden , so no one ever knows who they share their time with.

I had married one of them in my youth. He was gorgeous, very gentle and even charming in his everyday life. However, unless there was violence, blood and broken bones, he was not able to perform in the bedroom... It took me years to stop blaming myself. I dedicated this time to research of psychology behind the rape. Internet is full of info, so do check it out, before you start putting blame on shoulders of someone who had looked into the eyes of madness and survived to tell the tale.

Answer 9

Implying that there was something the victim could have or could not have done to prevent the crime from happening.

Look, maybe it hits too close to home, but on a macro level, it is a effed up society we live in that women are not (or are told to feel they are not) as safe as men in parking garages, drunk, jogging at night etc.

Case in point, is your allusion to the now commonly known FACT that the majority of rape victims KNOW their accusers.

My not dressing slutty, not drinking, or only going out during the day will not prevent a known attacker (most possible) from attacking me.

The thing that gets me is, knowing this, it seems to some there are "degrees of rape". If a woman is walking in a garage at night (she should have known better), she is somehow less of a victim than her friend who was raped in broad daylight by her friend or partner in her own home, who has somehow become more-raped, because she couldn't have prevented the act.

Or could she?

"Don't walk alone at night" (my addition>) "Otherwise you'll get raped, and you'll spend the rest of your life blaming yourself and listening to others tell you what you should have done, regardless of how evil and disgusting the person who did this to you was."

I think you catch my drift. Blaming the victim has a much higher price tag than denying her sympathy. It denies her ability to view herself as a victim in a situation she COULD NOT HAVE PREVENTED.

Rape happens because women do certain things? NO!

Rape happens because there are disgusting rapists who commit this crime.

Answer 10

Lotsa long answers here and a lot of beating about the bush.
Women (from 12 to 80) KNOW when they are being provocative, through their dress or movements. It's just tough when they meet a lustful guy who takes these signals as a "come-on". I'm not excusing the attacker's behaviour, but in many cases, these victims have been giving out signals which would attract a certain type of man. It very often takes two to tango....the "blameless" are very often the "shameless".