Why is a long-lasting marriage such a rare occurence these days?

Question

Is it because divorce is easily accessible now?

Doesn't anyone believe in keeping the flame alive in marriage?

Answer 1

We seem to be living in a disposable socitity these days.
it is so easy to throw things away that don't seen to be working, the way that we want them to.
when it comes to Marrage, is it really easier to start over, or work on the one that we have.
however by changeing one partner for another, we soon find out that we have only replaced, half of the problem.

I will have been married for 40 years in Februrary. It has been a lot of work for both of us, but the most help we got come from God.

Answer 2

Because people are selfish at times and marraige is considered more of an option that a priority. Many live together before marraige and many have sex before marriage so there is no rush. I love my brother dearly he is 29 and has a girlfriend and they do go away together but he does not see the need to get married because to be blunt he already has what he wants. My fear for him if and when he does marry he is in for a rude awakeing. Sex is not the answer for everything or the answer to all ones prayers.

I have a long lasting marriage I have been married 14 years and my beloved and I work VERY hard at our marriage and marriage is hard at times and marriage takes very hard work.
Have we wanted to quit? Have we wanted to walk away? YES but I will say this the only reasons we have a good marraige is because of Gods grace and that Jesus is the center of our marriage.

The problem with this generation Is that it is founded on instant gratification and that in life you take the good with the bad and not everything is going to always your way all the time. Not all are like this but some people have a very immature unrealistic view of marraige and that relationships dont start out with the foundation of friendship, devotion and loyality mostly it is all about sex.

The reason why marraiges don't last is because couples don't always put the love and effort and prayer into a relationship and if the foundation is weak the structure will fall. Many marraiges are not built on the Rock of Christ but the sands of changing emotions.

Yes we do keep the flame alive because we knew eacother over 4 years when we got married and we did not have sex until we were married we realize the important of romance but also know it is not the only thing that makes a marriage strong.

Marriage is not a feeling it is a choice and a commitment.e4g

Answer 3

Surprisingly there are some marriages that are actually well constructed. In other words, the couple is happy together, and though life is full of ups and downs, they're still into each other after many decades. I think the key to a happy marriage for some is those who are lucky to be able to work and play together. They don't get diverted into different patterns of activities, their lives are inclusive, not exclusive and so on. I will also say that statistically, probably only 25 percent of all marriages are really happy and have been happy throughout. Some are not unhappy, and about half end in divorces, affairs or both. However, that said, they do exist, but long-lasting happy marriages would be in the minority.

Answer 4

Hi!

I think, first of all, people don't look at many things these days as long term situations. Sadly, marriage falls right in there somehow.

The many pressures of life today are also a factor. I would love it if people had a choice of whether or not both spouses had to work just to be able to make ends meet, or if they could let their kids play outside with the other kids all afternoon long & into the evening like we used to, or if material things weren't the most important things in life as opposed to good family values, quality time together, etc.

We live in a "fast" society now. Our economic values, government corruption, and loss of the "simple times" have played their part in the destruction of familys and relationships.

Who & what to blame? Who can say. What to do about it? Again, who can know? Those of us who'd love the "old times" back are pretty much S.O.L.

Oh...by the way...I've been married (2nd marriage...first husband passed away after 7 1/2 years) 25 years this time around. Guess we'll keep each other for the rest of our lives now!

Don't lose hope. Just keep on believing it can be so, and it can be!

Good luck!

Answer 5

Not only do they make divorce very accessible and easy, but now it's more profitable to be divorced.

I've actually know several couples over the course of my life that got legally divorced, the husbands rents a cheap apartment but remains at home. Now, that the mother is single, she qualifies for several federal/government loans, grants and privileges.

Here we are, married and making it work. Struggling to make ends meet, and here's our divorced friends getting free housing, food, etc....

I will never forsake my marriage for money!

I do believe in divorce in extreme cases, but not as the easy way out.

As for 'keeping the flame alive'....girl, you should have seen (not really seen it) the lap dance I did for my husband last month on our 10 year anniversary. Talk about HOT!

A wedding is a one time event. A marriage is a lifetime!

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Answer 6

I think it's a few things.

People aren't being taught the kind of character that they were sixty years ago - and I think that is because kids are being raised in daycares and schools rather than at their mother's knees where they used to learn character.

People are more sexually promiscuous - hardly anyone is a virgin at marriage anymore (we both were, by God's grace), they get used to going from relationship to relationship. When things head south the relationship is over - people just don't work at it like they used to. And when they get married, they are used to walking away when things get hard.

I also think it's because people have a very low view of marriage today. Where it was once seen as a serious, lifelong commitment it is now seen as "just a piece of paper", or something couples do in order to get a tax/insurance break. People now think "we're committed enough as it is, we don't need a piece of paper to make us committed!". I think that is a load of crap, myself....real commitment is promising to love and honour and care for someone faithfully until death. People just shack up and play house nowadays and think that it is equal to marriage but it's not.

And I've heard that shacking up before marriage decreases the couple's chances of ever marrying, and if they do marry they're more likely to divorce. People shack up all the time now, it's so common that it isn't even frowned upon - heck, I've even heard moms say they will encourage their kids to shack up because "how will they know if they are compatible if they don't live together first". Stupid, stupid, stupid! People today are too selfish and lazy to make marriage work.

Answer 7

Many folks today do not take seriously the vows they made to each other on their wedding day. A vow is a vow. When hard times come in a marriage - as they always do, since we are all human - we need to remember our vows!!! Working thru difficulties is the key to a lasting marriage. It seems today that folks want the easy way out, and do not want to work at marriage. It takes work, sacrifice and forgiveness, humility too. Sadly, these qualities seem to be lacking in much of today's society. If one is unhappy in a marriage, they need to look within themselves too.......and make amends there. I do not think this if often done either, we tend to place the 'blame' on the marriage partner. This is not always realistic. Being a 'giver' and a 'forgiver' are lost today. One ought to ask oneself, when in a tough marriage, if they would have regrets at the end of time, if they have not forgiven, and then kept their vows. Life is short........we need to keep these things in mind as we WORK thru the difficulties.

Answer 8

One or both stops working to keep the marriage alive. Add to that, children, bills, sick parents and jobs, you rarely are together it all adds up to a high stress level.

You need time alone. Maybe a date once a week with no talk of the above and concentrate on what attracted you to each other in the first place.

Answer 9

The meaning of marriage is not the same anymore.. thats the first thing you should realize. I personally do not believe in marriage for material reasons, that is, marriage because of physical attraction, for the money, bc she carries your baby, because my parents said so, or marriage because he/she provides my needs. If I ever want to marry, my only consideration will be if that person is a guide to my spiritual elevation and my support in getting closer to the Supreme Personality of Godhead. All the best and stay blessed!!

Answer 10

Well put Zalem and Semper Fi. Unfortunately, there are those of us that are not giving a choice in the matter. The wonderful bonds of marriage should last a lifetime, but the sanctity of marriage will continue to be a thing of the past for most until people change their views, behaviors, and beliefs. I could deal with most any given situation, but the abuse to a child will not ever be one of them, hence I'm no longer married.