How many times have you heard a rape victim being blamed for the assault?

Question

Either because they were drinking, of how they were dressed, or where they were at the time?
This is in response to antimisandry who claims he has never heard of a woman being blamed for being raped.

http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkOANKci3f..Sv4VA9g1ru4gGAx.;_ylv=3?qid=20071203114657AAcTMNd

antimisandry wrote:
CASE: Grahame is listening to the news with a friend, Steve. A woman has been raped, Steve comments "She asked for it".

(personally, I've NEVER heard any guy say 'she asked for it' - as portrayed by the 'man-friendly' Michael Flood)!!!

Answer 1

i am in the heatlh field and currently i'm working on a rape prevention project - i do not work directly with victims and this is a tempory project for me.

i have known 2 people who were raped and did not prosecute. the work i am doing states the same thing - this is a crime that goes unreported. look at any non-profit in the usa that is working on this issue & they will report the same. don't want to hear the BS about feminist claims - that's crap - look at nonprofits (including men against rape groups), police stats, etc.

last i looked, justice dept, i believe, figures cited 940000 rapes in a year and stated on website that it is the most unreported crime in the usa.

i know that women are blamed for rape - this is common knowledge in the health field. women often die with the secret or tell a female friend.

i also know from doing human rights work that women are often blamed for their deaths - example, prostitutes who are targeted and killed. anohter example - in guatemala, officials blame women's increasing status on their (brutal) deaths. they also claim these women are prostitutes if they have red nail polish or "short" skirts to that it's more like society is benefiting from their deaths and gets police off the hook for prosectuing crime (over 3000 deaths/only 30 prosecuted). amnesty international has info on web site.

this may be my last post and it is b/c of the insensitive, inhumane comments about issues surrounding rape. ppl are nothing but low-lifes who post "sh!t happens" or the "broad deserves it'.

i have no interest in taking part of a forum where misogynist, nasty, evil, arrogant, insensitve and self-centered posts occur. to me, it's gotten ridiculous. and the fact that ppl allow it to occur only makes it worse.

Answer 2

It's not blaming the victim. But you have to realize that these 'preventions' or protective measures don't always work 100%. Actually, I'd say they have a higher percentage of being rendered useless by some evil nutjobs than a botched condom. You should tell a women to take preventive measures while stressing how WRONG it is to perpetrate rape. She is right about one thing. The way to prevent rape 100% is to prevent people from committing rape. Prevention is better than cure. Of course there is no way to prevent rape from happening 100% but we shouldn't transfer the gravity of rape crime onto the victim. It has no positive benefits. Except for aspiring rapists.

Answer 3

Has this person ever heard of the movie "the accused", starring Jodie Foster? It was a true story about a woman who was ganged raped in public and because she was drinking and previously dancing with her initial rapist, she was blamed to the point that her attackers got a tiny slap on the wrist. Later, in another court case, the jury decided in favor of the rape victim when she and her attorney put the spectators on trial for facilitating a crime. Apparently, the second jury thought the victim didn't 'ask for it' like the first jury did and all involved were jailed.

To answer your question, yes, I am always hearing about women who are being blamed for their own rape. "They were drinking, they were flirting, they were high or they had a big fight with their boyfriend and decided to get back at all men for it", etc, etc, etc. There are so many excuses rapists make to take the blame off of themselves and put it on their victims, it's sickening. Please tell the person who said she had it coming how wrong he is. I will refrain from stooping to that level by commenting further.

Good luck, friend. Hope you convince him of the error within his comment.

EDIT: Bravo Linda. Very well said. Much better than I could have said it.

Answer 4

I can't believe that people have not heard a rape victim being blamed for an assault, they just haven't noticed it, since anytime there is a rape case discussed in the media, I hear a constant stream of "she must be a s!ut, why did she go there, what was she wearing, she knew the guy" and if the guy had money then "she just wants money, she just wants publicity, she just wants to ruin the guy, she's crazy, she's trying to ruin a good man". If it's date rape, there are excuses given for the rapist, blame for the victim, by both men and women.

Let's put it this way, the next time a rape case is being discussed, pay attention to how often you hear "how dreadful, no one deserves to be raped"? Maybe you'll hear the rest of the crud you've ignored in the past...

Answer 5

It is not PC to directly put blame on the victim and yet, almost every time I hear about a rape, people speculate over what the victim was doing or wearing. Like Twilight, their insinuations are subtle, nonetheless, it still lays the blame on the victim.

To put this thought process into perspective; anyone who goes to someones house (day or night),/ may or may not have had a drink,/ wear clothes that make them look good,/ therefore should expect to be brutalized? Because they put themselves in a risky situation.

So that would mean that they were really there to have someone pierce their soul and steal a piece of it. They were there to have their innocence stolen from them, and their dignity shredded...is that what you wanted when you have gone to someones house?

Anyone who hasn't heard it, hasn't been listening.

Answer 6

Deirdre,
We work in the same field. We interact with people who are having the worst day of their lives. We see, hear and encounter things that the average civilian never comes into contact with (other than through a work of fiction). We have heard all the excuses that a perpetrator can come up with. We know where the blame really lies, and who should be punished: the victimizer, not the victim!
Ashleigh

Answer 7

Yes, I've heard it often! Everytime someone says that a woman "put herself in a risky situation" by ... whatever ... drinking, being out at night alone, dressing "provocatively", being too affectionate etc. This IS considered blaming the victim. Because in essence it is saying that because they did one of these things, they would not have been raped, because really, how could any man be expected to control themselves. After all, they're only men! These and any other arguments are beyond ridiculous. It means that men cannot be expected to take responsibility for their own actions and have any control over themselves. It is utterly insane!

Answer 8

Pretty much every time, if there is violence as much as major bruises, cuts, murder even, then usually the victim isn't blamed, but any time that there is no real physical damage, or at least nothing that could be proven to be caused by the rapist, I guess it isn't being blamed for a rape, because, the guys blame the women for sex, and the women say that they were raped, so they see it differently... rape or sex...

Answer 9

Quite a bit actually...in my personal experience and at work.
It's rarely ever a blatant "she asked for it!" It's more blaming her for putting herself in a position to be raped. You shouldn't have been at that place, you should'n't have been drunk, you shouldn't have worn that outfit, you shouldn't have talked to him for 2 seconds and somehow led him on.

Personally, I had a best friend (now ex-best friend) that told me that I wanted it. And then that I was just lying to get attention. I didn't end up reporting it. I blamed myself for the longest time.

Put the blame on the rapists, not the victims. There is such thing as self-control and it doesn't matter what somebody was wearing, what they had to drink, where they were at...etc.
Nobody wants to be raped. It's pretty simple.

Answer 10

Only in South Africa will you have pickters outside the courtroom of a rape trial chanting, " Burn the *****!! "

It was our vice president and he got off because," She was wearing a skirt. That's asking for sex."

She even had Aids. But guess what he said to that, don't worry, I took a shower after!!!!

What a fantastic country.