When we have sex these days I always feel that he is faking it. He does it like it is his duty. There is no passion, no sparks.
He is a big fan of internet porn and was a keen customer of strip clubs. He always wanted to see me in sexy lingerie to get turned on. Now even that is not enough to light a real fire. Is he bored with me?
I don't think other men find me dull as I can easily turn a few heads if I wished to. So why is my husband getting disinterested? What can I do to spark his interest? Please help!
2007-12-03 08:41:56 · 51 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well I am not sure what is it you haven't tried yet, but you can watch porn with him and ask him what turns him on. Both of you have to communicate. You cannot just assume what turns him on. Yes, you tried it once and it worked but perhaps he wants you to try something else new. Introduce toys such as vibrating cock rings, ticklers, toys with vibrating feathers... those are great. Other toys are fun too but if I list them my answer may get removed.
I can provide a link and you can browse and use your imagination. Other things to try is buy some sexy lingerie in costumes, I can provide a link too... also switch a bit and become dominant.... wear a cute wig and tell him he has a date with.... name her and tell him she is a virgin who is inexperienced and she needs him to teach her to be naughty... buy a paddle. I hope you are getting the idea...
Also there are message boards that are better for posting a question like this and you will get answers accordingly without the yahoo patrol watching and removing advice that could help you with your question.
Links below
2007-12-03 08:51:04 · answer #1 · answered by Sassy Shut Your Mouth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When to people are with each other for a long time they feel nothings new.
To spark some intrest in your mate do things hes never seen you do.
Such as:Walk around him naked but pay no attention to him.. Let him urn for you and then when he cant take it no more kiss him but nothing else.
The next night go a little further next night same thing little further.
He will be very aroused by this flirty seductive side of you. he wont be able to control the sparks the fire and the heat.
I know some people are parents so its a little harder okay alot harder.
Wait until they are safely asleep then begin
If your mate is tired and you dont think he will be able to wait. Whisper in his ear that if he can make it until the kids are asleep he will hafta stay awake and inthused just to see what you have up your sleeve..
Goodluck oh btw A real woman is much better than a stripper/pornstar because those women want him for money you want him because you love him.. theres nothing better than being wanted and desired by someone you love..
2007-12-03 08:52:13 · answer #2 · answered by mandaluvs24 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has an addiction to porn and stippers, which needs to be broken. He is fasinated by those women...something about them. So yes he obviously is attracted to them and getting his satisfaction from that. The only way to bring this spark back is to get counseling and get him off the internet and take him away from the strip clubs. You are his wife...he should be spending all that time with you not a fantasy. My brother was really into looking at porn on the internet and it ruined his marriage! He got help and now is happily married again, but it can ruin your marriage. He obviously has seriuos issues he needs worked out. You need to tell him how you feel and what you want him to do or change and if he can't do that I am sorry to say you should leave him..it may wake him up. I would be putting the foot down. Your man needs to be looking at you and only you. He is mentally cheating on you girl...smack him!!!
2007-12-03 08:48:24 · answer #3 · answered by Sadbrowneyes13 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not always about how you look or how many heads you can turn. Its not always about the fact that you may be a beautiful, sexy woman. Here's an anology for you: You could meet the most gorgeous, physically perfect man, but as soon as you get to know him, you find out what a true a**hole he is, and arrogant, and a personality that does not back his looks up. So now he is an ugly person to you. You meet an average looking man, not the best thats for sure, but when you get to know him, he has the most amazing, wonderful personality out there and now this average man has become very attractive.
What is happening in your relationship? Take a good, hard long look at your relationship. Ask yourself some very hard questions, talk to him about what is going on in his head and his heart. Take a long hard look at what both of you are contributing to your relationship, your marriage. The problems don't sound physical...it may be much deeper then that.
2007-12-03 08:53:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is your husband getting disinterested? Let's think about that for a second!??!?! BECAUSE YOU GOT MARRIED!!! That is the end of a relationship. After I do you go downhill relationships never get better. Before you make any other decisions in life here are a few facts of life:
1. There is no Santa
2. Everyone lies (even to themselves)
3. Life is not fair
4. All men cheat
5. Marriage sucks
Happy Holidays. Any other questions email me if you actually want to hear the truth not the fairy tales you believe.
2007-12-03 14:17:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think most people are questioning why you married him in the first place. There might be some kind of emotional attachment to him now but it sounds as if you were using him 16 years ago and like you still are now. Physical attraction doesn't just come from the way someone looks. It comes from how you feel about them. When you are truly in love with someone that fact alone can make you want to kiss them and want to make love to them. You have cheated him out of years of a true happy marriage. You need to tell him the truth about how you feel. Maybe you will get what you really want and he will leave so you can have sex with someone else and not feel guilty.
2016-05-28 01:01:36 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him what would he like you to do, you say he was a keen customer of strip clubs do a strip dance for him get the candles or color light bulb, the music , the nurse outfit, also play out fantasy, go to a sex store , and get the foreplay cards this is your husband pretend that your having a affair with him because if you don't keep the fire going (someone else will)
2007-12-03 08:52:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't matter how beautiful you are, every guy will get tired of you looks eventually. I mean he sees you every day, he sees you at your worst and your best. That's why you get married for love and because you have common interests. its the love that keeps the guy coming back for more.
If the other areas of your relationship are strong then there shouldn't be a problem.
I would advise that you talk to him and ask him to cut down on the porn and the strip clubs. Eventually he'll get horny and come looking for you.
Also ask what new things you can try together, and bring some ideas of your own. Role play, dress up, do it in the car...
These new setting will help make it exciting again.
2007-12-03 08:48:42 · answer #8 · answered by TiredofWorking 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your husband being addicted to internet porn explains all of this. He keeps raising the bar for excitement, and the animated photos and videos on porn sites provide it. You are a real flesh and blood person, who expects to be satisfied, too, when it comes right down to it. The bimbos on porn sites are there for only HIS pleasure.
Have a serious discussion w/ your DH about porn. And NOT before or after sex, or after a bad day at work for eithe rof you. He may need help (counseling) or an accountability partner (not you) to help him quit.
2007-12-03 08:47:57 · answer #9 · answered by Sugar Pie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This by no means is your fault! The problem is with the internet porn. There is over $5 billion dollars spent on internet porn sites a year in the U.S.! :( This has broken up countless marriages and families. You might consider talking to your husband about his obsession. Explain to him that you feel as though this obsession is taking away from your marriage...maybe seek some marriage counseling.
2007-12-03 08:47:29 · answer #10 · answered by *Almost ready* 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋