my husband and i have been married for a while, but now, i realize ive fallen completely out of love with him. we're totally wrong for one another and i realize it now. How do i break it to him that i just feel nothing for him anymore? i dont want to hurt him but i cant string him along either!! HELP!
2007-12-03 08:26:38 · 44 answers · asked by Jubilee S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well, hes kinda well, a hitter when hes upset, i dont wanna end up with bruises for it
2007-12-03 08:32:51 · update #1
If you are afraid for yourself, then you should make arrangements to have a mediator or a third party present. But you have to plan everything ahead of time. You can't give him a change to stop you if his behaviour is so violent. B packed and ready to leave. But have another person there with you. I'm not sure if you just want some time away, or if you really know this is over, but whatever the case is,,,please have someone else present when you decide to laid it down. God bless and good luck!
2007-12-03 08:39:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First:
Plan to move out of your house or find somewhere for him to stay, i.e. brother or sister, then plan how you want the bills separated. If your staying in the house make sure you get the locks changed so he can't go home and try to fight with you. If you moving out. Please take all the important stuff out so he will not destroy it!
Then:
Go somewhere public to avoid the abuse. Maybe a nice dinner and let him know that you would like the relationship to end. Tell him you decided to you can not take the abuse and just want to be left alone. List the reasons why you have for wanting it to be over. Be prepared to leave in separate cars!
Finally:
Stop all communication with him. if you keep taking his calls he will think he has a chance to get back with you and continue to call you.
2007-12-03 08:59:51 · answer #2 · answered by Cali Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a religious person so don't think this is coming from some morality standpoint.
When you married, what did you think you meant when you said, "till death do us part?"
Marriage is a commitment for life. One of the problems with society is people don't take this seriously. "I can always get a divorce later." We are cavalier and flippant with our interpersonal relationships, and it all contributes to a breakdown of the threads that bind us together as a society.
This realization, if you're smart enough and sensitive enough to accept it, is going to make you grow as a person as well. You owe it to YOURSELF, not just him, to at least give a try and figure out why you fell out of love. Talk to each other. Get counseling. Anything.
But if you're so selfish as to not want to bother because your own needs are more important than your needs as husband and wife, then it doesn't matter. Just tell him and accept the consequences. But tell him the TRUTH. Tell him you fell out of love and don't want to try because you have other priorities.
2007-12-03 08:40:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is really sad, but unfortunately you have to face facts. There is no way you are not going to hurt him. First tell him about how you felt about him when you first met and fell in love with him, but you have to make him feel good about himself as much as possible, he needs to know it's not his fault. Tell him although he has all these wonderful traits, you somehow felt something is missing and that he is almost but not really the one. I am not an expert but I don't think it's a good idea to talk about the marriage itself, because it's really about love and not the marriage unless you have problems in the marriage itself. Tell him no one can really explain why people fall in love and no one can explain why it is over when it is over. I hope I could help, I wish you both all the best.
2007-12-03 09:09:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't feel right answering this question without first knowing that you've done everything you can to save the marriage. Have you gone for counseling? Have you told him that you're feeling like you're losing your connection?
Too many people decide that they're just "not in love" anymore so they call it quits. Marriage is about making it THROUGH those times - together - and working on it, even when you're not "feeling" in love.
Let's face it, you've hit one of those "for worse" times and you're gonna have to kick off those heels, hike up your bell bottoms and wade through the crap, but you'll be happier you at least tried, in the long run, rather than taking the easy way out.
I wish you a happy - LOVING - marriage!
2007-12-03 08:32:44 · answer #5 · answered by Damaris 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As long as he is not a violent person or is known to 'fly off the handle', then tell him straight up, face to face. It might pay to have somebody close for support (for you both) and make sure you have somewhere to go to stay.
Be VERY SURE this is what you want as its a tough old world out there by yourself.
If you are even a tiny bit uncertain that you are doing the right thing then both of you go to counselling to try and resolve your marriage problems.
Remember if you change your mind once you find out how tough life is on the 'other side' he is most likely to tell you to piss off! Expect that!
Good Luck!
2007-12-03 08:35:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You have to tell him as soon as possible. I would recommend seeing your lawyer first and have some seperation papers drawn up, also make sure you have all your bank information in line, so you know what money is where. (you never know once he finds out he could try to take it all and leave you with nothing) make sure you talk to your lawyers first!!
then sit him down and show him the papers, tell him your sorry and didnt want to hurt him but you cant be together anymore.
2007-12-03 08:30:21 · answer #7 · answered by brina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with him. That would be a very hard situation to be in and I empathize with you. But, honesty is the best policy in this matter! Tell him you don't want to end up hating him and that is what will happen if you stay in a unhappy situation. Good luck and God Bless!
2007-12-03 08:30:25 · answer #8 · answered by living and loving life 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow!!! It's not that simple it's a marriage not a boyfriend this is going to be the hardest break up you've ever had. I hope there isn't any kids involved. I know you have to be happy. God luck honey!
2007-12-03 08:30:27 · answer #9 · answered by Debbie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he hits you tell him from a distance and make sure it's a good distance and he doesn't know where you are. Make sure you have a safety net around you(family or good freind) who can be there for you when the **** hits the fan.Good Luck and what ever you don't go back.
2007-12-03 08:42:51 · answer #10 · answered by FLIT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋