I need seriouse advise? pls help very scared?

Question

married for 3.5 years i have a 1 year old. my husband from the starting has issues with me. i never understand why? and now its gotten worse.. he curses at me for no reason, or reasons so small like not putting the laundry away!! he gets mad when he wants to and not talk for dayss.. expects things from me all the time but when i expect says i am too demanding..
when iw as pregnant on our trip to NY i had his laptop in my lap, and i was going to put it on the back seat it sort of slipped but ended up fine on the seat.. he started swearing at me so much (which he knows i hate) also hit me so hard that i started bleeding from my both lips.. never said sorry ..when we got there he got extra rude with me .. then few hours later he acted as if nothing happend!! i tried to talk and get mad..but got scared he might do something again.. i know i have put up with it just cz of my baby.. if i file for divorce will i get my baby's custody or can he get it.. i have no clue so am asking pls help

the only reason i am scared to leave.. is what if in the end he gets custody.. but if i tell teh court that he is abusive..then i will get custody..no???

Answer 1

First of all you don't have to put up with that so get that out of your head. Second that is called ABUSE...get yourself and your baby OUT of that situation. Worry about custody later!

Answer 2

Honey I have no idea where you're at right now but you need to get out. If he's abusive, you can take you and your baby to a women's shelter. There's different ones in different areas, one I've heard of is My Sister's Place. You do NOT have to stay with him for the baby. Do you want your baby seeing that? If your baby is a girl, do you want her treated this way someday because she thinks that's how things should be? If you have a boy, do you want him growing up thinking this is how to treat a woman?

Document the abuse, like you have here. Talk to a lawyer; the shelter should be able to help you. You obviously have internet access, research your state's divorce and custody laws. I don't have any legal advice but from what I've seen, if the father's abusive, the mother will usually get custody, unless she too is abusive or has some sort of other issue (drug abuse, etc.) I'm presuming that's not the case with you.

At any rate, have a bag ready...hidden if you must...just a few necessities for you and your little one, so if you need to bolt, you can, no matter the day or night. Talk to your friends and family locally if someone can be there for you. And whatever you do, stay strong - if you cannot do so for yourself, do so for your little one. Your child deserves a good life.

And if you're lamenting a possible end to the marriage, remember this too: You may have another shot at love, hopefully with someone better next time. But your baby only has one shot at a happy childhood. Give your baby that chance.

Answer 3

He is an abusive man and you do not have to put up with it. It is against the law to hit other people. If he has a history of domestic violence (have him arrested if he hits you) then they should give him to you. Usually the courts are going with joint custody unless one parent does not want it or is not fit. It is not you honey. He is the one with the issues. Abusive men do not usually act like this until you are married because they then have taken away your sense of security and your self esteem. I would do what I had to do to get away from him. It is not going to get any better for you. There are lawyers that offer free consultations. Call one and see what you can do. If things get bad call the cops. Do not let him hurt you. Men that do this sometimes will hurt the baby or the family pets to get to you. Good luck girl and keep yourself safe.

Answer 4

Okay. GET OUT. Take your baby, take what you need ONLY, and leave. And stop asking questions on line. You're wasting precious time! You leave, file for divorce, a restraining order, and petition for full custody. YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH IT. I'm not trying to diminish the issue here, really! Don't start thinking this way. If you don't do this for you, do it for your baby! Do you want him growing up in an evironment that is violent? Please, honey! Open your eyes! Yeah, you are the victim here, and your child is a victim. Fix it so that it never happens again. Best, best, BEST of luck.

Answer 5

What you are going through is abuse and you should not have to take that at all. DO NOT stay with him for your child's sake, because that will not help your situation.

Admit that there is a problem and that he is abusing you. Document everything because that will be crucial when you leave him and that will count against him in custody hearings. Pack a bag and be ready to go and take your child with you.

You don't have to live in constant fear and in this repetitive cycle of physical and emotional abuse. It is not healthy for you and for your child. Because of his abuse, courts will be very leery to hand him full custody of your child. Consider the safety and well-being of your child and get out as soon as you can.

Answer 6

You need to get help and get away right away! The court would not give custody to an abusive man. Do you want your child to grow up in fear watching mommy suffer? It is never ok for a man to hit you NEVER! Call family or friends but get away as soon as possible or you will regret it!

Answer 7

No courts will give custody to a known wife abuser. If you are still with him, leave. DO NOT LET HIM CONTINUE TO HIT YOU! And don't think it won't ever happen again, cause now he knows that he can get away with it without any repercussions. If you stay he does it again, take photos of any marks he leaves on you, if possible record it. Every bit of evidence you can get on him will prove to the court what kind of man he really is. I really suggest you LEAVE NOW, don't wait till it happens again. If you wait, he may really hurt you and your child!

Answer 8

You need to leave. Tell the court of the abuse. In fact, the next time he hits you, call the police. Just make sure you are leaving him before you do that and have a plan in place.
There is no place for abuse in a marriage. Everyone has agruments but physical abuse is way over the line.
GET OUT!

Answer 9

the 1st element you are going to be able to desire to do is provide up being terrified of him. and don't stay with him given which you have a baby at the same time, it rather isn't any excuse. Your son would not could desire to be suggested in that type of area, no count number how good of a father he's on your boy. Your first step could be to circulate to the courtroom homestead and clarify your concern, they're going to mpst probable positioned you in fron of a choose that day. you're able to do this with out yur husband there. What you will do is record for non everlasting custody. it is going to maximum probable settle for to you proper away. they're going to then deliver somebody to subpeona your husband to courtroom at a later date. which you will the two could attend. meanwhile get your self a divorce lawyer, and confirm you have a place for you and your son to stay. no count number if or not that's an house or a family members or a acquaintances. maximum probable what is going to take place, is that if the choose sees no reason your husband wouldn't have custody of the infant, he will grant partial custody to the the two considered one of you. which will probably require your husband getting your son another weekend some vacations ect. ideal of luck to you and that i'm hoping all works out on your choose.

Answer 10

He sounds psychotic.
If you are going to leave him, seek protection. You get custody of the child unless you are a very irresponsible person.
Violence is a dangerous trait. Nobody should hit another for silly reasons. You have reasons to be scared of this person.