help me get rid of her pleaseee!?

Question

well... everyday my mom drives me home from school because i normally walk and its way to cold to walk now. there is this girl that not too many people like that asks for a ride home everyday. everyday no matter how fast i run to my moms car she gets a ride somehow because i act too nice. when people see me with her they think im her friend! i am so not and sorry but i dont want to be. i dont have the guts or heart to tell her off. also its so cold out and ill feel bad if i make her walk... I HATE THIS!!!! please help me with ways to get her off my back in a not-mean manner THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!! [:
~Carly

Answer 1

I know how you feel. There was a really, really strange girl that I went to elementary school, junior high, and high school with (the only person that shared all three of my schools). She had some family problems, and personality problems that she couldn't really help, so I felt bad for her, and tried to be nice. She had some other issues that were completely within her control though, that she did not try to help. For example, she had a big lying problem, got into arguments with younger girls constantlky, some stalker-ish tendancies, and had some major hygiene problems. Also, I was a student leader in our schools choral program, and she made rehearsals and concerts very difficult. It was a big conflict for me, becuase I did not want to be rude or make her feel bad, but I also did not want her to consider me a friend, and as shallow as some people would see this as, I did want to be respected by my peers, and befriending her was not a way to do it.

It was hard because I'd known her for so long, but I was able to get out of the "relationship" by slowly making a distance between us, I stopped being overly friendly, and learned to deal with her in more of a professional, respectful way, like you would a co-worker who you didn't particularly care for.

If she is anything like the girl I knew, I don't see anything wrong with detatching yourself from the parasitic relationship. However, if she's just a slightly akward, but nice girl who really needs a friend, I think it might be a good idea to stretch yourself a little, and try to be there for her if she needs you. Is she polite and appolagetic when she asks for a ride, or does she seem demanding? I don't know her...you have to make the judgement yourself.

If you decide that it really is a bad situation, and you need to distance yourself from her you should start right away. It is nice of you to not want her to have to walk in the cold.
You could say something like, "I don't want to be rude, but I hope you can be understanding. Its more of a burden for my mom and I to take you home than you might realise. We can take you home today and tomorrow, but do you think you might be able to find another way of getting home by the beggining of next week? With the holidays coming, and the semester wrapping up we're getting pretty busy, and you're not going to be able to rely on me for a ride home any more."

You can of course put that into your own words. ; )

I think if you give her a little bit of advanced notice, don't talk behind her back, and are polite, then you won't have done anything wrong, and you shouldn't feel too bad for her, or bad about yourself.

Answer 2

Taking the "right" path is not often affiliated with the easy one and I think your sub-conscious knows that since its been bothering you. Surely you can take a few teasing jabs at your "rep" to offer someone a ride home. It's not like its out of your way or costing you anything. It doesn't mean you have to be best friends either. I'm sure everybody gets that you're just doing someone a favour but they are just having some fun at your expense, so stand up for yourself and the right choices you make.

BTW....If you ever find you need some space which I can appreciate (I need my own space from certain friends & family from time-to-time), tell your mom not to pick you up for a few days, and walk home instead. Since you're not obligated to drive her, it'll throw the routine off and she find her own way home.

Answer 3

What exactly do you mean by get her off your back? Sounds like she is a sad, lonely girl (since you said that not many people like her, I can only assume that she is the one that everyone picks on), and all she wants is a ride home so she doesn't have to walk home in the cold. What is it about her that makes you not want to be her friend? Why do you want to tell her off? Has she verbally abused you? Hit you, punched you, spit in your face? I'm sorry, but it just sounds to me like you are embarrassed (sp?) to be seen with her and because you don't want people to think that you are her friend, you are willing to make this poor girl freeze in the cold, just so you don't have to stand up to your friends and tell them that you are just giving her a ride home. If this bothers you so badly, why don't YOU walk?
You're pathetic. Grow a backbone.

Answer 4

i suppose you should first tell your mom how you feel. since she's the one who picks you up.

whatever you do DONT and i mean DONT telll anybody that 'oh that girl? shes not my friend....she just gets a ride with me'. im talking from a bad BAD experience. rumours spread fast and each person that hears it will change it in somway. that girl may hear it and her feelings will really get hurt.

okay so after you go to your mom, you should confront the girl and ask her if theres anyone else she would prefer to take a ride with. dont ask her in front of everyone cause thats mean. see what she says. :) good luck!!!

Answer 5

you really should try being not so shallow. Just because some one isn't popular or what you would pick to be in the "in crowd" doesn't mean **** ten years later. If she is a person in need you should help her out. One day all those people you thought to be so cool will probably be calling people like this girl you couldn't stand to have seen with you boss. we all are human and we are all different try embracing the difference instead of running from it.

Answer 6

I suggest 3 options
1- stop being so nice. you have a right and all! tell her a lie like, "sorry, i can't. i have to go directly home- homework overload!" or just not go to your car at all. ask your parent to stay a little longer or come later and jsut lie saying you have things to do afterschool. that way problem solved
2- basically, start walking again. i know- it's FREEZING. do you have an extra fluffy coat? hand warmers?
3- tell her that you would like her to stop asking for a ride. tell her that you don't know her family and it's kind of rude to just expect a ride every day.

hope this helps

Answer 7

The questions you need to ask yourself are:

Do you like her?

Do you have a reason to hate her?

What has she done to you to make you not like her?

Just because many people don't like her is that a reason that you should not?

Have you ever talked with her?

Why don't other people like her?

Are those reasons, reasons that make her a bad person?

Maybe you would like her if you made up your mind for yourself and not decided you won't just because some others don't?

Everyone deserves to be judged on their own merits, not just what others say.

Answer 8

Well, until you tell her how you really feel, looks like you've made yourself a new friend. Sounds like you'll feel bad if you tell her the truth or if you make up a lie. I say go with honesty. Tell her you are sorry, but you aren't looking for more friends and your mother is not a taxi service. Or, if you'd rather lie....just tell her you are not going home right after school so you can't take her.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

Tell her that you need to be alone with your mom during the ride home because it's the only time you get to talk about personal stuff with her. Then actually use the time to TALK to your mom so you don't feel like a liar.