I want to die. Cannot pay bills, family uses me. Am 51, men do not look at me so I have no one to help me.?

Question

I have become ugly. Try to t/c/o myself, but men still don't notice me. Getting divorced from husband who treated me foul, but he is the winner in everything. God hates me. At wits end. Can't pay bills, have no fun in life. Are men attracted to women 50+ or is it a death sentence? Hate life.

Answer 1

I am 51 myself ,child please i wish we could e-mail each other or better yet talk on cell everthing i thought in my life as an child and adult my parents divorced when my sister and I were 4 and 5 my sister has a mental handicap-my mom moved us away and she pretty much left us locked in a room --preferred her men more than her children- to much stubid crap to tell here about.. Met a man got married well hes family lets just say hes family concidered me white trash and pretty much treated me and our(yes he and I have 3 kids) like crap.. He had 2 boys when we got married and yes I raise them oh my goodness I have lots to tell and its all true.... God loves you If you want to e-mail me and if u don't thats fine too oh I am still married to mine 30 years [e-mail]

Answer 2

First maybe you should write down all the things you don't like in your life. Then figure out what you can do about them. Most of the things we don't like we can change. Look at some financial sites. Also look into a good lawyer about support issues with your husband. Also get excercise not to lose weight to get the stress off. Even go for walks. Life is overwhelming right now. But nothing stays the same. Now that your husband is gone. focus on the things you want to change. A positive personality attracts men. There are some woman that don't look that great by society standards but have no problem getting a man. Your family uses you because you allow them and your only allow them because your self esteem is low. Do the above and your life will change. If you can get some counseling so you can have someone to tell your problems to so they can give you encouragement as well.

Answer 3

There is life after divorce. There is dating for over 50 singles, you could still meet some one. Your husband is not a winner. God loves you very much. Go back to school, you can get grants and loans to help pay for it. Get your self a good paying job. Start to enjoy life. Find out what you want to do. Be strong. This may be the best time in your life. You won't have to worry about pleasing or answering to anyone else, maybe for the first time in your life. Every one is a little afraid anytime they begin something new. Do it just to spite him if nothing else. Look at it as you are starting a new and better chapter in your life. Life is an adventure. You can do it!

Answer 4

Please see that I am not judging you I am honestly to trying to tell you how I see it.

Everything you are stating is a negative. You cannot expect good and positive things happen to you, if you whole thinking process is negative., That doesn't make any sense, does it!

You say you are "ugly" "God hates me" "have no fun in life" and that you "hate life".

It is going to be challenging for you but try, very hard, to change your thinking.

I know a few women who got married, for the second or third timne after 50! It is not wether you are beautiful or not, it is how you see yourself and what you do with what you have.

Starting working on the inside, and the outside will start to look better to you.

It is very, very easy to become bitter after a divorce, but try and see that it is not an end, it is a beginning of something new. Whatever choices you make from now on will be entirely up to you. You can choose to keep on thinking as you do now, which will get you nowhere and only make you more miserable. Or you can start to make choices for yourself that will make you stronger, and make life more interesting for you.

This is the Christmas Season. There is nothing more that you can raise your spirits, than helping somebody that is worse off than you. Go to your nearest homeless shelter and offer to help serve meals. Go to any food bank and sort out food for those that have none at all.

I guarantee you that God hates no one. You are seeing all of your life as a disaster at the moment, but you can change your perspective and start to create a new life for yourself.

When a person looks for a relationship, it never works. If you start helping others and making choices to make your life better, then some day, you will another person who will respect you. However, you have to respect yourself first.

Start to love life. I was watching the snow fall the other day and thinking how wonderful it was that every snowflake was different. We as human beings are all different, and unique.
You are here for a reason, and if you start to mend yourself, in a positive way, you will be shown what that reason is.

Write down what your dream job would be, or what your dream life would be like. Write everything that comes to mind. When you have finished the list, start crossing them out one by one, until you have one special dream, left.

Then start to aim at it. If you believe in a dream, and are determined to receive it, it will happen. However, you have to change your frame of mind for anything good to happen to you/

Change your thinking, change your life.

I promise you that if you do, you will be a much happier person.

Answer 5

You do have somebody,,,you have yourself. I know life seem so miserable right now, but with the right help, I assure you your future could be different. You have to want the change. I have no idea who you are. Or why you chose this forum to send such a desperate cry for help. But I can tell you this, I know you are somebody. With a story, with memories, with a life. And along the way you have encounter a few bumps and hurdles and now you have reached your limit. But I know you have a beautiful heart. You do love God and he loves you right back. Finances can be fixed. Money come and goes. Your age has nothing to do with your present state of mind. Your family, soon to be ex and all the rest that surrounds you,,,will pass....this will pass,,,,,and you will come out of this with a better outlook. There's a world out there waiting to discover you. I believe you will be ok. Think about the future, never mind the mess you see around you right now! Focus....hang in there,,ok?

Answer 6

I want to crawl in a corner and cry now.

Honey. I'm 23 years old, and I'm about to go bankrupt. I've gained weight since high school and I don't get the looks I used to. But...life will not stop because I've had a bad year.

Look inside yourself, and pull your inner beauty out. Fix yourself up, get a haircut, change your makeup. Just re-transform yourself. It always makes you feel better.

Get a second job, extra money, plus it occupies some time for you.

Try online dating.

Get a hobby

Try meditating. (Lotus Sutra...look it up)

Get a dog, or cat to take up some time. They love you unconditionally.

And if you have too, cut yourself off from your family for a little while. Tell them how you feel, and if they don't like it then don't talk to them. They will eventually get the idea that you are a better person.

Don't give up on life because you've had some bad luck.

Everyone gets in a rut. You just have to pull yourself out.

Answer 7

I think you need some self confidence and you should stand up for your self!!! You might be 50+ but for most people life is still strong. You need to do things for you and no one else( unless you have small children) but take pride in who you are and that you go out of a bad relationship to have a better life. If you are like my mom you need to get out and spend time with friends. Don't think you are a loser!! You are what you eat, how you think. In order to catch a man you have to want to and in order to feel better you have to want to. God does not hate anyone but I think you just need some help getting out and on your feet. Try looking into a better job to pay the bills, then look into clothes that make you feel good, and then look into going out a little bit. Even if it is to the mall or out to eat with a friend you are out of the house and making an attempt at life instead of feeling sorry for yourself. People perceive how other people act and feel and tend to treat them that way. Keep your head up and take a stand and show yourself and others you are doing better than they think! Good Luck and Take Care!!

Answer 8

hey there. i am sorry you are feeling down. life really blows sometimes. i know that is a fact. i am 30 yrs old and have felt so low at times, i didn't think i could get thru. but somehow you do it. you just do it. about your bills, well, just sit back and remember that so much of america is in the same situation you are in. it does not make you a bad person. just accept the way it is right now and try to make the best of it. and as far as your family, try to spend less time with them until they realize what you mean to them. it is no good feeling used. especially by family, the ones who should be there by your side loving and caring for you. 51 is very young and anyways you are a woman, who gives a rats *** if men don't look at you, they should not form the way you feel about yourself, they are just stupid men for goodness sake. what do they know? we are women and we are the best. you do not need a man to feel good about yourself. just know in your heart you are a beautiful woman who has experienced alot and because of the things you've gone thru, you will be a stronger and better woman, living the rest of your life to the fullest.
take a moment and look back at your life, focus on the positive, visit a church and speak to someone who can inspire you to see that life is a beautiful thing. honey life is short and you need to live it to the fullest. not down and depressed and wanting to die. you deserve better than that!!! get up and realize that god loves you, and men do not determine your strength and beauty! you do!!! find a way to love yourself. i know you can. you're pretty fantastic, remember that. who cares if some tom dick or harry didn't glance your way at the market, i mean, focus on the fact that you are a strong woman who chooses life and happiness! without a man! you don't need a man. trust me on that one!!! live single and love it!!!! you don't have to clean pee on toilet seats, what a beautiful thing!!!! : ) seriously tho there is someone out there (probably more than just one person), who would hate to see you feeling so down. you have loved in the past, you will love again in the future, but right now the most important thing to do is, LOVE YOURSELF.

Answer 9

dont feel that way. i do know how you feel. i am also divorced and have be for over 20 years. its not a easy way to live. for you bills here is what to do. i add the bills and pay half out of one check and the other half out of the next. its hard to do but it can be done. nother thing you could do fine away to cut on other cost. like if you have a cell phone turn it off, dont use credit cards, their are many ways it could be done. if i can do it for over 20 years you can do. and the lord does love you and he is always with you. pray and talk to him he will help he knows whats best. right now look at it as he is testing you for something better.

Answer 10

You'll never be happy with that attitude. Do you realize there are millions and millions of people that are terminally ill and would do anything just to live another day? And here you are wish that you are dead. You have no respect for life itself. Pull yourself together woman! Make a list of things you have, health, limbs...etc. Now wake up everyday focusing on what you have, and get up to go do the best you can. Life only favors those who do not give up.