He thinks we should be happy because we have lots of "stuff". We have a great house, big tv, all the extras that don't mean much to me at all. Is there a chance to save this marriage?
2007-12-03 05:35:35 · 44 answers · asked by Leo Lady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes but it will take a lot of work and communication. Materialistic things don't equal happiness unless you are shallow. You don't sound shallow, however your husband sounds like he values things more than his marriage. Suggest counseling and try communicating to him your feelings. GOod luck to you both and GOd bless
2007-12-03 05:38:44 · answer #1 · answered by ?? yaddajean ?? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Would you be happy alone? Don't dream about finding a better mate because they all take a lot of work. But if you truly think life would be better if you were single and without a partner then there is definitely something wrong with your marriage. If it is not so bad that you would prefer to live alone then perhaps the lack of happiness is within yourself. Quietly start doing for others including your husband. Make other people happy every day in little ways and in big ways , such as donating time to a charity. Do not expect to be rewarded, the happiness comes from within.
2007-12-03 05:50:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, but you must tell your husband what does carry meaning for you in this marriage. Tell him exactly how you feel. He obviously is happy and has no problems with you as he's told you he feels he has everything he needs to be happy. So in his eyes nothing is wrong, he loves you and loves all that you two have accomplished. So you're not communicating properly to your husband that you're unhappy. That you need this and feel that way. He can't read your mind and you haven't volunteered whats not working for you. You two can correct this only through communication. Be honest and sincere. Let him know that you're not content as he is. Explain your feelings exactly the way you feel so that he may have the opportunity to make you happy again. Your husband should be your best friend. Therefore he should know all just as your best friend in high school did. Hold nothing back or else you'll be the one holding the marriage back as communication is needed! Good Luck & God Bless!
2007-12-03 05:57:39 · answer #3 · answered by zerotimeforfun 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes! You can save your marriage. You two say you love each other. Don't even give in to the "I love you but I'm not IN love with you" crap! Quit focusing on what is wrong with your marriage and start focusing on what is good or right with it and go from there. Spend time together. Discuss things you would like to do and even things you have always dreamed about. Maybe he will find some of those things are things he would like to do also. If you never try you'll never know. Ask other couples if they ever were in your spot and see what they did. If you love him and he loves you you can find a way.
I hope things work out! My wife never tried to make our marriage work. She expected me to do all the change. She left and I can't help but think that if we worked together to fix our marriage, we would still be married.
Good Luck!
2007-12-03 05:48:32 · answer #4 · answered by da_catcar 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, that's because love and building a relationship where you enjoy each other's company are completely different things. You love each other, but do you like each other? Let me give an example. My husband and I love each other, but we don't always like each other. So we try to focus on the part of each other we do like. I like it that he's goofy and makes me laugh. He likes it that I'm caring and takes care of him and our kids. So when we spend time, we focus on those aspects only. If we focus on the others, we would be divorce by now. And I know that goes for a lot of people here. It's great that you guys don't have to worry about money because trust me, that is a huge strain on relationships. So now, the two of you have to find things you like doing together, and try to do those things. And learn to give each other some space, cut each other some slack. Those will go a long way.
2007-12-03 05:50:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you think there is, there is. And a marriage is worth saving if it can be saved. I recommend that you get into marriage counseling immediately, or at least visit an ecclesiastical leader together. Best wishes for your future.
P.S. Here's a comforting statistic: research has shown that many couples who go through an unhappy period in their marriages are happy five years later. So this might just be temporary. :)
2007-12-03 05:38:49 · answer #6 · answered by drshorty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it can always be saved. We just for get that we have to keep dating and do things we did years a go. Look back when you two were first married the things you did. Send him a note at work write to him how much you enjoy him and things you would like to do. Maybe when out driveing give him a little attion. Remeber the things you driveing down the road. Get a little playful.It might take him a little to get what is going on but I'm sure he will like it.
2007-12-03 06:01:06 · answer #7 · answered by tadm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Money doesn't make you happy.... find the root of your and his husband's unhappiness. What problems are you and him having: Cheating, spending too much money, stress, ect. Maybe you should take a vocation or a trip somewhere to get away from all your luxuries. Or If that doesn't work you and him should sit down together and talk to each other about why the other is unhappy and come to a solution.... I hope this work
2007-12-03 05:42:37 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES! But first you need to see if your husband really loves you for you or just the big TV. Obviously your in love with him or you wouldn't be seeking help. I think that if you love each other to give it a try. Tell him how you feel I mean he's your husband for god sake. Also you should consider seeing a marriage counselor.
2007-12-03 05:41:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A very big part of happiness is voluntary. You can chose to be happy every bit as much as you have decided that you are unhappy together.
So I would suppose that your issue is your expectation of happy and your own willingness to let it happen in your own mind. If you cannot get along because of money stress or drugs or alchhol or illness or anyone of another life issues which stress a relationship it is understood.
What is the material issue for your unhappiness?
It sounds like it is between your ears.
2007-12-03 05:59:37 · answer #10 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋