Re: Pl. interpret wife's statement, girls what do you think?

Question

We had heated argument with my wife and I accused her of having affair with her brother-in-law because she wants to leave me, outs is 2nd marriage for both of us and she every day remembers her brother-in-law for some reason how he lives his life, what he does etc. after she leaves me she wanted to stay with he brother-in-law and her brother who has his own apartment. When I said she must be having affair with her BIL she said “NO” but right after that she also said “If she has to lie for someone’s benefit the she will not hesitate to lie” what DOES SHE MEANT BY THIS????

My wife always compares me with her brother-in-law. In the beginning I did not care but many times she will tell me even minor things like he went for his car wash today. He bought toys for his kids, because she and her sister talks every day on phone. Now eventually she cares more for her brother-in-law so much so that if she separates from me she will leave with her BIL and not with her brother who lives few miles apart. WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE IS SHE TRYING TO CONVEY ME?? WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO ASSUME????

My SIL have helped my in-laws a lot financially, when we had heated argument she was arguing me in his presence and my wife's BIL said if she has any problem his doors are always open,. one day she also told me her BIL is like her father.

this is our 2nd marriage for both of us and she married her brotehr in law to come to usa so in a sense her is 3rd marriage with me

i would not be surprise her sister is turning her back on this relationship. my wife's 2nd unmarried sister age about 50 yrs. is also staying with her sister ( same in question) and not her own brother who lives few miles apart.

i did appericiated her bhabhi and second time i did she asked me i did "kalu dholu" eg: something fishy when i visited her when they were in india. this is going on since we married about 6 1/5 yrs. back

for 6 years i did not bother too much when now i am sick and tired of her pointing finger at me and my family and when i say negative things about her family same way she does to me once she tried to hit me with broom. all the negative talks were briefed by her bhabhi and when they found out they tried to shut her mouth by calling her brother. as husband i bought more expensive clothes then i bought for myself. and also comapred to what she was wearing before marriage. she will buy Rs 500 dress while i bought her few Rs 5000 dress i bought on my own and instead of rs 1000 sareee i bought her Rs 10000 then thousand Rs saree b'case she insisted me to buy

Hey BLUNT as husband i added her name to my bank, credit card and bank locker but when she started earing she kept her money seperate. i contrubuted every year for her retirement fund but now she makes money she keeps it to herself. reminds me of her bhabhi's quote. this family is known not to be good when it money issue because it's her sister my SIL who manages all the money matter rather then my wife's brotehr. usually it's sons's who handels money and not daughter back in india

Answer 1

Sounds to me like she talks about her BIL so much because he's married to her sister, to whom your wife is very close. I think it's the sister she's there for, not the BIL. Sisters who are close tend to be a great source of support for each other. Whatever is happening in your marriage, whether it's over or just on the rocks, I don't think it has anything to do with her BIL (who is also married BTW).

Answer 2

Do you have kids with this woman? Don't allow yourself to be treated this way by her. Just talk to her, maybe even talk to him. But try no to ruin her sister's marriage either. If she has something more than a BIL SIL relationship, you need to do what's best for yourself. I have two brother in laws myself. One is 26 and one is 8. The 26 year old and I get along, but we respect each other and there are boundaries that shouldn't be crossed. The 8 year old is like my little brother. I love him so much. But again, I respect them, and above all, I respect the man I love and married, my husband. And in my eyes, there is no one better, he's the best for me!

Answer 3

Sounds like she trying to make you feel bad, like if he can (BIL) do those things so should you. She probably was irritate because you said she must be having an affair with him. Just a way of getting back at you. If she wants to leave then so be it, who needs to be compared to other people. I'm sure there are women out there who will appreciate you. Sometimes things aren't meant to be. Life is to short who needs the drama all the time.

Answer 4

Its her 2nd marriage and she still hasn't learnt a lesson?? Sanju its gonna go on forever like this. But, is she really comparing you or she's in an aw of this whoever this person is? And giving you hints that you should be like him?? Well its horrible if she's doing this and there's nobody to teach him better. Why dont you both get some counselling? AND let her know firmly she should stop comparing you with him at all. Also let your SIL know about it.

seriously, you dont deserve this and what she deserves is a kick on her ***!

There's a second way why dont you also find a SIL for youself or her sister and keep praising her in front of her! Tit for Tat man!

Answer 5

Sounds like she is having either an emotional or even physical affair w/ her BIL? That statement about lying for someone's benefit would get under my skin. I can't think of any other reason she would say it except that she is telling you what you & probably her sister want to hear--that nothing is going on. Does her sister have a clue that she is so into her husband? Your SIL may want to look at their relationship a little closer...looks like they're getting a bit cozy!

Answer 6

fights arguments enters any relationship especially husband & wife's relationship when one or both are not satisfied, do not give time to each other, do not try to understand each other or care not to, she talk about him so much may be she wanted u to be like him carying & devoted.......every women wants a loving, carying, understanding partner....................
may be u r too involved i ur stuff that u forget that u have a wife & things to take care off, & she indirectly reminds u of that by discussing her BIL..........so relax cool off, & rethink how u have been doing all this time
make a list of both negative & positive facts being practiced by u & stay neutral while doing so,
then conclude anything.

Answer 7

I think you two should communicate more and tell her to come clean with her feelings.

She also needs to understand that her sister may just be telling her the good stuff about this guy and trying to build him up and make her jealous.

She seems enamoured with this guy and if she is indeed inlove with him then you two need to discuss this at length and figure out what to do next.

Maybe you can talk to the sister.

Answer 8

I am a female, 33 years experience at life. No matter what happens this will always linger on your mind and heart. This is not healthy. Then if you decide to believe her, then find out otherwise it will be even worse. I would dissolve the relationship immediately because no one has time to waste.

Answer 9

I think that the most sane solution for this is that you should assume that she is finished with you. That is all you can assume. Does it matter who she is going to be with....if you take the focus off of the situation at hand, problems with your wife and start with the what ifs....you are going to prolong the pain. Focus on the exact problem.....she wants to leave you...that is all...and you will feel better.

Answer 10

From what you said.....for some reason she thinks her brother-in-law is a model husband...kind of sick though that she is idealizing her sister's husband. She sounds like she is emotionally invested in him as well. I would seek counseling or do what you need to do....you don't deserve this or have to stay in this relationship...what she is perpetrating on you is a form of abuse. Sorry for your heartache.