Scared to tell my hubby?

Question

I am a 21 year old (college student)newly wed (september 15)that did something really stupid without thinking.My hubby is 26 yr old a relativley good guy he's a computer programmer with a lot of potential and many people like say my entire family thinks he's the perfect guy.Our romance went real fast with emotions all over the place.I was trying to get over my first love an ex.bf at the.My aunt introduced my hubby to me at church and i jumped at the chance to see someone new.Then 8 months later we got married but 2 weeks before my wedding i had a slip up with my ex.bf before i started the pill.My hubby and i abstained for 2 months before the wedding and choose to use condoms for 4 weeks after i started the pill.I am pregnant my doctor confirmed(ultra sound) it he placed DOC at Sept.3.I feel really bad and confused ?I dont want to hurt my hubby but am no sure if or how to tell him and when?

I am afraid my hubby could throw me out of the town house we just bought because he put up most of the money for the down payment.I only put up 15-20% the rest was all my hubbys money.Also my ex.bf and i have a not so good track record.

Answer 1

Yeh the right thing to do is tell your hubby cause he has a right to know. Does the possible other father of child look or have the same features as your hubby?? Cause nothing like a newborn baby that HE would know was not his from appearances. What I mean is if both of you have light colored hair and blue or green eyes. then the baby has dark hair and brown eyes. Just tell him cause you would want to know if it was the other way around.

Answer 2

wow!!!!!!! that's about all I can think of right now. You are in a tough one. umm the best advise I can give you is tell him sooner rather than later. I mean you can wait until you get further along if you are not showing, but honestly it will only stress you out. And being pregnant you do not need to be stressed.
I mean you did screw up pretty big, so don't be surprised if your hubby is pissed to no end, but at the same time it is not something that you guys could not work through. It will take a lot of time, and it sounds as if you are a church goer, so it will also take a lot of prayer, but hey it can be done.

Good luck on this one though, I am sorry to see you in this situation. If you need any advise or would just like to vent you can always email me.

Answer 3

This is terrible! You know as people would normally say what goes on in the dark will come to the light. You must remember that when you hurt someone it will come back in return someday but maybe worse than you would have ever expected. i think you should tell this man what you have done. It is better to get things out in the open before the child is born. Seems what you and your hubby had going was a good plan, but you somehow let your ex slip through the cracks and now you may have ruined everything you had going for yourself. Good Luck honey!

Answer 4

Your options are really limited.
You can tell him the truth, that you are pregnant with your ex's child by banging him while you were supposed to be abstaining for marriage? For that you deserve to be tossed to the curb.

You can try to lie and convince husband that the child is his and it will be premature. This will catch up eventually and then you should get tossed to the curb with malice.

Or, since you are already good at deception, get that abortion and keep your mouth shut. You can deal with that guilt yourself.

There is no such thing as a slip up. You did this willingly while your husband thought you were saving yourself.
Perhaps the best would be to tell him the truth and move out.

Allowing a guy to unknowingly raise another guys kid as his own is perhaps the most despicable thing a woman can do. You have the ability to regain a small bit of your integrity here don't blow that one by letting this slide.
Make your decision soon and live with the consequences.

Answer 5

That would make you about 13 weeks along. An abortion at this point is a two day process. You go in for day 1 and they put a little sponge-like thingy in your cervix. The moisture will cause it to expand and stretch out your cervix. When you go in the next day, you will probably be instructed to walk for a good 20 min before the procedure. Then you go in and they complete the major part of it. I think they give you some kind of medication to induce labor. Whatever they do, it will be a very exhausting experience for you, and you will need to stay in bed for the rest of the day and be very careful the next few days. You may notice lactating breasts and severe emotional instability (brought on by temporary homonal imbalance). I am not sure how you could manage to go about something like this without him knowing.

Try asking your mother for advice or maybe even the aunt who hooked you up with this guy. Gotta pull yourself together and act fast. If you wait too much long (like perhaps the end of this week), it could be too late to abort. And I'm not saying that's what you SHOULD do; just letting you know what you might be looking forward to if you happen to go that route.

If I were you I would probably just suck it up and tell him you're knocked up and that it's his. Birth control sometimes fails. You know how they're always 99% accurate or something like that? This is that 1% time where you need a miracle to save you from the consequences of cheating and getting pregnant from it.

Answer 6

I can not believe some of the people here. We all make mistakes.. period. The simple fact that you are so remorsefully is good - that what separates you from the immature remarks on this forum. You are carrying guilt.. That causes stress. Franky your husband has a right to know but the stress you are carrying says that eventually you will tell him. There is no good time. But you have to put the child first. Currently there is no time machine built so we can not change the past. We can only make tomorrow better. Take in all the advice here, but do not let the quilt consume you...

Answer 7

Ok first of all abortion would only add to the problem. First you are unfaithful before you even say "I do", then you lie to him about the baby, then you kill it? Like that's going to be a problem solved? Surely you are smart enough to realize you have opened Pandora's box and now you have to deal with the repercussions of it. Just deal with it, if he keeps you around he's a much bigger person than most, if he kicks you to the curb then learn from your cheating lying past and turn over a new leaf and start anew. More than anything take care of the baby inside of you and be grateful for such a blessing, do you have any idea how many woman can't have what you are taking so lightly?

Answer 8

You need to come clean with your new husband. The sooner you tell him the better. If you didn't get pregnant, would you still be feeling scared?

Sounds like you shouldn't be married to this man. If you truly loved him, you would not of slipped up and in the predicament you are now. Just because others think he's a great guy, didn't mean you had to marry him.

Spare this man anymore hurt and pain and take responsibility for your actions. Even if he says you can work it out, think long and hard if you want to stay married to a man you don't truly love. Is it fair to him?

What a sad situation to bring a child into this as well.

Answer 9

I know this is something that you wish could just go away. But the truth of the matter is - if he knows his basic math - he'll find out eventually. You might as well confront the problem now. It's easy to put off the inevitable when you know the outcome will be unpleasant, but it's part of being a responsible adult. And in the end, when it's all said and done, he'll respect you more for your honesty. Of course he'll be hurt and mad and all that good stuff, but when he calms down, in time he'll be grateful that you came forward with the truth and there will be more of a chance for reconcilliation. But if he finds out any other way beside thru you, it'll be hard for him to trust you again.

Answer 10

I were in a similar difficulty. i'm just about two times your age and felt the very similar. Do you stay basically because you're scared what is going to ensue to you in case you leave - no-one else to reveal to or help you? I instructed my husband for a number of years how unhappy i change into in our marriage and not in any respect some thing ever replaced. I have suffered stress and melancholy for the perfect few years, and my self-worth change into gradually whittled away by ability of him. I used to assert - immediately i will do it - and then chicken out. contained eventually on my birthday he aggravated me a lot i requested him to flow out and he change into bowled over. he left and most of the time i have self belief much better efficient - regardless of the particular undeniable actuality that there are circumstances i'm somewhat lonely as I even haven't any-one else both and experience if i went lower back a minimum of i might want to have someone. human beings do not replace somewhat although. so i comprehend if i went lower back it would want to be to a similar difficulty and that i do not want that. As your husband is violent, i'd not tell him in individual. Get your self organised even as he's not round - in basic terms take what you want and call a womens preserve/centre and clarify the issue, they ought to help you. you're not any more on my own!!! you'll discover there are a good number of human beings interior a similar or similar circumstances. preserve your self - because you're the biggest individual on your international. leave and once you do connect a help team, i comprehend it is going to likely be frustrating to make that 1st step, yet believe me you may do it. the following you'll meet others and it is going to help in progression a sparkling existence. Take Care.