how do you get the courage to leave an abusive partner?

Question

keep in mind there are children to consider

Answer 1

Get a lawyer, move yourself and the kids to Texas, become my nieghbor and I will make sure you date only the best! HEHE! No but serioulsly, first time, you could probably let it slide unless it is really bad. Multiple, take pictures of any marks and bruises on you or the kids, any mess around the house and get a lawyer. Hell, even a free one would be able to win that case if you had pictures.

Answer 2

Naturally, there's a lot at stake here. And I'm not sure I have the perfect answer. Please keep that in mind. But here's something that should serve as a starting strategy.

Set him down with witnesses and say "This marriage is ruined. You have beaten up on me in the past, and you will continue to do it in the future. I am now leaving and starting my life without you . I have little doubt that one day you will sneak up on me and kill me for this. But remember that you will be the number one suspect. You had better have your ducks-in-a-row if you don't want to spend many years in prison."

Don't forget the witnesses (neutral ones, not from your own family. If you need to bring the cops in for some reason, that would be a good time for this speech. They'll make good witnesses for this purpose.)

If he is not actually murderous, then this will shake him up to the point that he will probably not behave in a manner that makes you and your family fearfull that he is.

This answer doesn't really address the children issue. But that'll have to wait untill you've established yourself away from him and the issue of further violence is settled.

good luck.


edit: son of troll should not have assumed that you are sending out a false alarm. And he could be more polite. But he does point toward an important question; this really is an abusive situation, isn't it? We're talking about a guy who is truly being bad to you? Not just a guy who has the typical load of human faults and failings?

Answer 3

It's not a matter of courage but tolerance. When u can longer tolerate an abusive partner, u r not left with any other option but to walk out on him and claim for compensation to look after the children. There is a saying, if father dies, despite all difficulties mother will raise the children. If mother dies, they r really ruined. Father will find another woman to look after himself and even leave children for her sake.

Answer 4

and you said there are children to consider. How hard is it to consider when there are children involved with this bullsh*t.
WHY DO YOU WANT TO PUT YOUR CHILDREN THROUGH THIS CRAP??? Cause you think its good for them.
I know this is going to sound harsh and hard but your children (while your raising them, while there dependent upon you for all there needs) are your first priority and should always be.
You leave because you want them to have better and you want to do everything possible to instill in them that relationships ARE not like the one your in.
Your being selfish I think if you stay and your really thinking about yourself and not your childern. There's a way out and help, don't stay because you love the person because an abusore does not love you. And don't stay because of $. You know you should leave.........you just have to want better for you and your kids.........and if this means being without a partner it's not gonna kill you or your kids either. And if the kids know about the abuse they are going to have much more respect for you for leaving.

Answer 5

A friend once told me that everyone has a personal limit of what they will take, and that until you get to yours, you'll continue to take. If children are involved, the most important thing is to remember the children are helpless and defenseless in this situation; an adult who chooses to stay in an abusive relationship has made a personal decision, but children don't always get to make that decision. The abused person need to consider those kids first and foremost.

Answer 6

this is nuts. Her in basic terms difficulty, and your in basic terms difficulty, could be getting her out of this occasion and to three place risk-free. There are relatives violence communities that can help her discover risk-free look after if somebody which includes your self can't take your sister in for awhile. And enable me upload that it type of sounds like a typical excuse for a individual who's being abused to furnish her buddies and relatives as a "rational" clarification for no longer leaving. What rational individual concerns approximately criminal duty for 5 months of lease, using fact the 1st month is already paid, or maybe much less if there's a secure practices deposit and/or final month's lease. in basic terms an enabler could be concerned approximately this criminal duty to the quantity that she's keen to stay in possibility for 5 greater months. If this is her place, then i do no longer think of you would be waiting to assist using fact it shows that she isn't pondering getting genuine help. stable success. this is beneficial to seek for some expert psychological advice using fact i think of your sister could be merely enjoying upon your sympathy.

Answer 7

Kimberly is right: There is no easy answer. You must remember that he will always be like this, no matter how many times he apologizes. He has an anger problem. The abuse will never stop. There are women's abuse shelters, which will take a woman and her children in, feed them, and provide a living arrangement and counseling. Please get help. The abuse will only get worse.

Answer 8

OPRA had a show a while back on this matter. you can get help with making a plan to exit this relationship, just call your local police and they will give you phone #s' for agencies set up just for these situations and i advise you to act quickly especially if you have children because more likely than not it will spread to them as well, these type of men are mentally disturbed and rarely ever change their ways no matter how many times they promise. also go to opra.com as there may be some info on there, please do not delay for you and your children's sake. good luck.

Answer 9

Staying together for the childrens sake is not a good reason. They know there are problems.You are teaching them that its ok to treat some one like this.Please go on your own way and protect your children from being abused.

Answer 10

You don't, the only thing you should remember is that it will never stop and you are responsible for the children's safety. It will only be a matter of time before he turns on them.
What you need to do is just get out while you are alive. You don't want the children thinking that it is normal for daddy to beat mommy.
Call you local social service or police for assistance and please do it soon.