Am I upset? Yes I B****Y well am!?

Question

I am really really upset because Q&A, to me, is almost like having Penfriends. I happened to show my partner an e-mail that I had from a male acquaintance to a previous Q.
All of a sudden, it's suspect. I might be 'chatting' God forbid! Some MAN knows my e-mail address! Maybe I'm meeting someone, somewhere!
He has use of my computer and I like to share answers with him, so he's not blocked out as though it's my own private little world.
Why is he making me feel guilty for receiving an e-mail from someone on answers?

we_are-l 10 years!

Thanks Drama mar

Thanks CC I feel the same . I am doing nothing wrong but why should we have to deal with this .....

Bobonump. Have just done exactly that. Got him his own account. Helped him choose his avatar, explained everything to him and just hope he understands Q&A

Answer 1

I did the same thing back in 2003 when I was on Classmates.com. I had heard from a former male classmate via Classmates.com, e-mail ( he didn't have my e-mail addy at that time) & shared that info with my husband (my ex now) & he blue a gasket. I shared that info with him just like you did with your partner, & for the same reason. Now, if you were carrying on with this guy, why would you have shared that info in the first place? I'd say that your partner is insecure for whatever reason, & I'm not blaming you. He disrespected you by being so accusatory. That slap in the face hurts. My advice to you, is not to stop your correspondence with this man. By doing so, your partner will think, in his own mind, that there must have been something going on after all. Been there, done that. It's all right for men to have female penfriends but it's not okay when a woman has a male penfriend. Go figure. He should be ashamed of himself. He seems to have issues with you that need to be addressed. Jealousy can get ugly. Just a thought. Could it be that he's cheating on you & feels as though you're cheating on him? ( only he doesn't like it)

P.S. I wouldn't be with a man who didn't trust me 100%

Answer 2

Because you are 'allowing' him to make you feel guilty! If everything is on the up and up, not to worry. Depending on how old you two are, depends alot on maturity. I found that the older I got, the less I worried about the jealousy thing. I have been married for 37 years, and I would say that even after the first five years of our marriage I would get jealous if he even looked at anyone...but after having our first baby, which was and is wonderful, I found that there were other things in life and that as long as he was always coming home to me and our family, not stopping off after work to have a beer or whatever, that was proof enough of his love for me and the kids. To this day, (he's 64) he still looks a little, but I think that he then realizes that he is looking at a woman who may be the age of our daughter!!! Who different perspective.

My advice, again, depending on your age, maturity, etc., if the guy is that jealous or doesn't trust you....kick him to the curb. Not all guys are like that because they are secure enough in themselves. If he continues to be jealous, it is on him and his insecurities.

Please make sure that he reads this answer...

Linda

Answer 3

Oh you poor dear! I feel the same way about Q&A!
Has he shown this type of insecurity before? I guess you just have to tell him he must trust you and that you aren't stupid enough to get deeply involved with some stranger on the internet. The fact that you showed it to him should tell him there's nothing to get suspect about!
Good luck and don't let him keep you from your penfriends!

Answer 4

Interests held by the woman outside the immediate realm of a couple often tend to send warning flares for men, for some reason. In addition the Internet is a 'spooky', distrusted place for many - replete with predators; secret romances; etc etc.

He may be afraid that someone will enter your life [whether it be cyber or real] that will take you away from him - either for real or emotionally and that you are sharing with this man, things you don't share with him. This may very well not be true!...but the fear is real to him.

I do not agree with those who say, kick him to the curb....none of us know the various aspects of your relationship nor do we really know you and know NOTHING about him ;-)

My best advice would be to talk to him - gently - reassuring him you'd never 'lapse' into a cyber relationship, as you have at home what you want [If in fact that is true]

Best to you!

Answer 5

I have found people who accuse others of cheating are generally up to no good themselves. Found this out with one relationship - I was constantly being accused of cheating, yet the thought would never cross my mind. If I love someone I dont even think of other guys that way -

BUT found out he was cheating so assumed if he does it so does everyone else.

Thats not to say your hubby is, some people are just insecure and jealous - since being cheated on I am more suspicious, something I never was in the past.

Answer 6

I am very sorry you are going through this, but I am terribly afraid this is the tip of the iceberg your are experiencing.! In my life, I have known men to behave in this manner only when they apply their attributes to their loved ones! WE, as creatures of nature, assume the other does as we have done..that is the worst part of ever stepping out on your mate...you never trust THEM again!!!!!!! It takes but one time only to destroy the trust, not in you, but in them, they never, NEVER have security again and any excuse will set it off. His actions are screaming at you, but you are not listening, for the best defense is always an offense! Beware, dear, your problems have just started...it is time you two had a serious heart to heart! Been there and done that. ... sorry to say, both sides of the fence, if you know what I mean. I have learned in life, that when one NEVER messes around, he/she doesn't think in terms of the other doing the messing....but just once, and the thoughts never go away. I wish you the best in this situation, I am far more worried that his is NOT basic insecurity at work...it is guilt. Peace and the best to you, Goldwing (I wish you had not asked this question...)

Answer 7

Maybe he feels that contributing to YA is acceptable but receiving e-mails is not. I don 't know what your realtionship is like, but perhaps he is afraid that this may be the start of an internet tryst. As someone earlier suggested, invite him to contribute to YA under his own account to see what goes on here at "seniors". Hopefully you two can work it out. Good luck.

Answer 8

I'm afraid in some individuals, the male ego is a fragile thing, and insecurity often comes from guilt, I do agree with most of the answers here, this type of jealousy is not healthy

Answer 9

You don't mention how long you have been together ....with that said I would venture that he is (for some reason) insecure in your relationship. He obviously has issues with dealing with real or imagined competition.
Talk to him and if he can be rational rather than emotional then he should understand. If not....its a rough road to travel,
good luck

Answer 10

You are so right to be upset. BUT talk calmly once you have calmed down. The other person is insecure and that is their problem but having a massive row isn't gonna help the insecurity at all!