I am acquainted with a very sweet woman who talks too much. She always has to share personal problems with our group of friends. She also calls us at home and doesn't seem to realize she's taking up too much time. I know I sound cold and unfeeling but I'm tired of listening to her! I don't want to hurt her feelings but can't take much more of her yakking. Can you suggest a gentle way to deal with her?
P.S. I don't have caller ID on my home phone and don't want to get it, so please don't make that suggestion.
2007-12-03 03:51:30 · 15 answers · asked by Miz D 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Know what?! Each one of us in our lives have to deal with people like this sometime or the other. It is very difficult - but I think the idea is to slowly switch the topic over to oneself. Gently interrupt her when there is a decent enough pause and start talking to her about yourself - your family, your kids, your favorite tv serial, movie etc.. Keep on at it - give her a dose of her own self! Believe me - nobody i mean NOBODY cares one way or the other about your own personal opinions, likes or dislikes - just like u dont care about hers!
So if you keep on at - in a week she will avoid u like the plague. Good luck
2007-12-03 03:58:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
When she calls, she has no way of knowing whether you have time to talk, unless you tell her.
"This isn't a good time for me to talk. I'll see you [next time you're getting together]."
You don't owe anyone your time, just because they want it.
Does she let you talk about yourself, and ask after you? If not, it's her that sounds, well, maybe self-absorbed is the best term.
Try talking about yourself, too. (It doesn't have to be super-personal, just what's going on, recent stories, etc.) See if she allows it.
The only other thing to do is to withdraw from the friendship, or back off from it somewhat, so you don't get to the breaking point.
2007-12-03 07:53:52 · answer #2 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Depends on how close you are to this person and how much you want to keep her friendship. If not much, you can just tell her to shut up once in a while. If you do, then you might want to suggest kindly that she try and listen to people a little more and let them have their say, too.
2007-12-03 04:45:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If this is indeed a person you want to stay in contact with, there's no reason to rock the boat. Let her talk, and if you would rather do something else just tell her what you need to do. One thing I like to do with people like that is keep phone conversations as short as possible and take my friends like that out to bars in social situations in groups... that way there are other people there for them to talk to, too.
Also, keeping in touch by email as much as possible is helpful for me.
2007-12-03 04:15:06 · answer #4 · answered by chipjet 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
THAT'S A TOUGHIE. i have been both the caled one and the caller you are describing in my lifetime. when i was overly-needy, believe it or not, it actually helped that certain ppl turned me down and I had to deal with problems on my own. iam 21 now and a couple-years ago I wouldn't handle anything on my own. now I do, most of it. tell her your busy you gotta go, she seems like she needs professional help...maybe you could hint at that.
2007-12-03 03:56:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't answer if you don't have the time or energy to put into the phone call!!! If you have an answering machine, screen your calls and answer only if you feel like it. Put yourself first! She'll call someone else and eventually-hopefully-will catch a clue!!!
Good Luck!!!
2007-12-03 04:02:35 · answer #6 · answered by wi_mbr 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Mention to her in an offhanded way, in an unrelated topic conversation, how busy you have found yourself lately, maybe she will realize what shes doing to you and take the initiative.
2007-12-03 04:22:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
After you've taken all that you can take, politely interrupt her and tell her that you have to leave and/or do something.
Keep doing this, and eventually, she'll get the message.
2007-12-03 04:09:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
kindly tell her that u have normal household duties to atten too. or...tell her hey im usually busy at this time why dont we speak like on saturday? arrange like a talking hour for one day lol
2007-12-03 03:55:56 · answer #9 · answered by Steevey W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her " I am not an expert counsellor and if I advise you wrongly, it might be BAD for you, so better avoid discussing your personal problems with me as I might guide wrongly."
2007-12-03 03:59:41 · answer #10 · answered by anewbrainstorm 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋