my step daughters behavouir?

Question

me and my husband both have daughters only my daughter is 2 years younger, very sweet and does everything she is told
me and my husband have been married for 2 years now and are planning to have another baby
however recently my step daughter have been living with us, since she got out of rehab for drug addiction and anorexia
she has had a very hard life, becuase her sister died when she was 4 and her mother an alcholic and drug abuser and my husband and her mother seperated and she took my step daughter because my husband wasnt in the state to look after her
soon the mother commited suicide and my husband was never informed of this, and went to live with her uncle where she was severally abused and raped
and after that jumped from foster home to foster home
it was only after her suicide attempt a year ago he eventually found her,and now she lives with us but her behavouir is outageous
she comes home at 4 in the morning drunk and high
ive found drugs in her room, and she cuts

herself, skips school and mouths off, ive even caught her having sex with some guy, she barely eats and listens to very heavy music, i dont think she sleep either, i dont know what to do, she yells at me when i talk to her

Answer 1

She needs to be in a residential treatment program - short term inpatient ("rehab") is not going to cut it for this girl. She is crying out for help in a multitude of ways - I hope that you can provide it for her. Again - it is very important that you consider residential treatment for your step-daughter. It may mean a life or death difference for her (quite literally).

Answer 2

Your step-daughter needs in-patient, long-term psychiatric treatment!! Cutters usually have been sexually abused (certainly as your daughter was) and had to repress all feelings and simply adjust to the abuse. Feelings become so buried, that cutting seems to be the only way they can feel feelings. Drugs medicate the pain of the present and the past. Go to the Welfare Dept and try to get her long-term help. There used to be money and treatment for people, but funds are scarce. Try every avenue!! A real tragedy!

Answer 3

CONSISTENCY!! She's never had people really care for her.. and as such this isn't normal to her yet.. nor will it be for a while if ever (but it can get better). Be the adult, keep the rules in place, make her follow them, when she breaks them she gets discipline (and of course she will rebel against even the disciplines.. but STAY CONSISTENT!). This child has had a traumatic life.. and is STILL in need of therapy. But at the home, she needs a structured, loving, consistent living. Also, ask your her therapist on things you can do to help out even at home.

This is what you have to do to give her her BEST SHOT at improving.

Answer 4

You need to be there for her. As well as the father if not more so. I would suggest seeking professional help however, she will probably not want to go. You cannot force things upon her. She will (hopefull) reach a point at the bottom and realize something has got to change. As for now, you both need to talk to her, love her, hug her every chance you get. I would seriously suggest professional help.

Answer 5

its obvious that she feels alone and doesnt feel loved by anyone. she needs a tru friend rite now. a mother and a friend. she probly feels abandoned. and doesnt really wanna be there, her mother abandoned her and prolly feels liek you will do the same, try to find the good traits in her, not only the bad, and let her see that you see them, if she does somthin nice around teh house, tell her u appriciate it, and make sure she knows she is loved and wanted there. she needs to feel loved by someone, everyone does. it sounds like there are alot of negative feelings in your home, and you need to let go of them, yes she is being outrageous but things will calm down..

try settin a curfew for her, and make sure it is followed, her father should prolly do the enforcing rite now tho,, otherwise it mite make it worse. if she breaks the rules, ground her and maek sure she listen, stay home from work for a few days to make sure she is listenin to the rules/...

if you guys have another baby rite now, it mite push her farther away, she mite feel like her dad left her but now he can be there for another baby?? that mite not be fair to her.. so aske her wut she would think of it. come to her level. and let her know that even tho she had a hard life, people do love her, and that she needs to let you show it,

it will take a while but good luck

Answer 6

If she is under 18 put her in rehab. She cant leave unless you say. But if she is over 18 then tell her she must get a job, get in school, or get out.People like this cant be helped unless they want help.

Answer 7

You and your husband need to intervene before she does herself some real damage.

Answer 8

thats why MIXING dosent work.