*****
Spin around
Dancing white gown
Petticoat promenade
Winds me around a dancing white gown
White ribboned hair
Brushed cheeks with the breeze
Perfumed skin permeates
Air breathed in slowly
Whirls me around her dancing white gown
A touch of her hand
Softly, gently captures me
A chill up her arm
Enraptures me
While turning around with dancing white gown
*****
2007-12-03 01:44:31 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Good rythmn is defintely in this one. May I suggest you divide this poem into 3, 4 line stanzas, with the last two lines as a climactic end. Here's the syylables for each stanza you may divide it into:
1).3-4-6-9
2) 4-5-6-5
3) 9-5-7-5
4) last two lines...4,10
Yes! This is also excellent! A definite for submission!
Elysabeth Faslund...Poemhunter.com
2007-12-03 02:34:21 · answer #1 · answered by Elysabeth 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love the internal rhyme on this one and the repetition of "dancing white gown." Reminds me of your poetic image of "gossamer wings." Both reminiscent of ephemeral beauty.
2007-12-03 10:41:01 · answer #2 · answered by Elaine P...is for Poetry 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it suits you but how did you get the ribbons to stick on?
And does your wife know?
2007-12-03 09:48:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you may =) Lovely poem.
2007-12-03 11:52:03 · answer #4 · answered by Marguerite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This one really suits the romantic mood that i'm in~~~
Thanks dearie...it's very loving and soothing. =)
2007-12-03 09:56:15 · answer #5 · answered by Dark Dickinsonian 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, you may
2007-12-03 11:11:18 · answer #6 · answered by Analyst 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no u may not dood!!!!!!! jk but tmi dude! wierd
2007-12-03 09:56:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok what is the question
2007-12-03 09:50:45 · answer #8 · answered by lala w 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋