is it right?

Question

Is it right for my boyfriend to be able to go through my phone, email, personal papers? He breaks my things... phones, computer, sewing machine..etc.... He says he was just angry... is it justified then? He thinks I'm up to something, but I AM NOT... All I do is take care of his THREE kids. I do have a couple of guy friends who I talk to on the computer... all of which I was friends with before I even knew him... I don't hang out with ANYONE except my mom. I'm not out running around. I work only two days a week.. the other times I'm here taking care of the house. What do I do.

Answer 1

Dump him!! He's controlling, possesive, obsessive and jealous! I would tell him that the one that does the blaming is the one that's actually doing something wrong! Guilty conscience maybe??????

Answer 2

Your boyfriend going through your personal stuff is VERY jealous and invasive. He doesn't have the right, and would not if it were a healthy relationship and he trusted you. That part isn't the real problem though, it's more of a symptom of possessiveness, but when he destroys your personal property- THIS IS ABUSE. It will get worse. It won't go away, and it won't get better, it always get's worse. He is violent, and it won't be long before there's nothing left to break but you. Go home to your mother's if you can.

Answer 3

If you have decided to give whatever you have or can do,without a contract of marraige, you have invited trouble.
You are in a dilemma. If you do not say anything, he will keep
dominating you and if you muster courage to put him in place
the whole relationship could breakdown in no time.

I know compromise to some exent becomes a necessity. But
if you allow him to take advantage of you, it is not a guarantee
that he will stick to you.

My advice to you and girls in your situation is to refrain from
indulging in sex prior to marraige. For, if you have made yourself available as a free sample, what attraction or need
remains that will persuade him to propose you.

It might take lot more time, but under the prevalent circumstances where 90 % of guys take undue advantage of
innocent girls who eyeing a marraige/ long time association
fall prey to a sailer, whose only interest is discovering new
lands, just for the fun of it.

Javed Kaleem

Answer 4

Your bf is a control freak and he shouldn't be all up in your business like that. He also has an anger problem. Sit down with him and talk to him not attack him and see if he sees what you are talking about. You deserve better treatment but it will not change until you do something you have never done before. It is to stop accepting this kind of behavior.

Answer 5

Take it from someone that USE to be him..NO!!!! it's not right....He has issues he has to deal with. But before he can deal with them, HE has to realise HE has them. (that's not an easy thing to do) as it is for most men. If the two of you have someone you both respect and trust, talk to them and see if they can help. If this issue is not discussed and resolved, it will only get worse. [Trust me] IF you are in fear of physical violence, check your phonebook for a local agency that can give you the help you may need. It's hard giving advise but you're the only one that can say, enough is enough. Or, you can complaine about it and live with it. But to answer your question, NO, IT'S NOT RIGHT...Good Luck...

Answer 6

really it is not right for anyone to go through your personal stuff. sounds like he has a serious problem and you need to get away from him. now, as a woman there has a time or two that i thought that my husband was lying and i did look at his phone and come to find out it was nothing. i was wrong for doing that - but i needed the reassurance and i got it. but as for breaking items that is the part that is really not right. sounds like he might be doing stuff and is afraid that you are to. i would definetly leave or have him leave.

Answer 7

Rent the movie "The Burning Bed" with Farrah Fawcett. If parts of that movie start to look real familiar to you. Pack your things and leave. He sounds like he is very controlling, and after breaking your things, the next thing he might break is you.

Answer 8

This guy has looser written all over him. I'd seriously consider leaving him... he's abusing you and you have done nothing wrong. Ask him if you can go through all of his stuff... phone computer, his car glove box.... normally it the person who is doing the accusing is the one that is doing something wrong. He thinks you are us to something... means he's probably up to something.

leave while you can... don't marry this looser

Answer 9

No, it's not right for him to break your things, they are yours and not his. You take care of his kids and that should tell him more than anything else that you are not running around. Those kids are not your responsibility, but you have taken then in and that is how he pays you for it? He has no justification for doing that.

Answer 10

you have a right to privacy.

It also sounds like he has anger issues. He is only a BF, not a husband, he has to see that,

I would tell him that, we are not married, Tell him to believe what he wants but nothing is going on, and if he continues to act the way he does that you will move in with Mom.

Answer 11

If he is just your boyfriend then you are not legally bound to this man and I certainly wouldn't marry him. He has no right to go through your things. It's an invasion of privacy. My own husband doesn't even go through my purse! I would get out of this relationship and fast!