Am I being selfish?

Question

So I have a loving a wonderful husband but it just happens that I have a job making more money than him. It took him a while to find a good job and now that he has one he has one more class to finish his BA and then his salary will go up. We also just started a dance school and it needs a lot of attention because we want that to be our main source of income in the future. Well I found out that I am pregnant and I teach dance during the day. It is becoming very difficult for me to do and I really don't have the time or energy to work on the business but we already have clients. I really want to go out on disability but I feel extremely guilty because I make the most money and I feel if I don't work we are really going to struggle I am only three months and I can't imagine later in the pregnancy. I also teach special needs children so they are very changeling. If I stay home I can work on the business and take better care of myself plus working on the business will be securing things for the future but am I being selfish to put the responsibility of the bills on him. Should I just stick it out but it is very hard

Answer 1

you're not being selfish you're being pregnant. it's normal to feel the way you do, can you have some of the older girls help in teaching the younger in dance class? i taught martial arts for a while and they just loved to help, i would give the parents a discount for student teachers, but as early as you are in your pregnancy you should be able to go a few more months, save your time off for when the baby is born...

Answer 2

The 1st trimester was always the hardest for me. I did get more energy in the 2nd trimester & then in the 3rd, you're just so ready to have the baby, it is a day to day thing just to get though. So, I do relate to the tiredness you are experiencing. I would not feel guilty about this. It is only temporary & I am certain your husband can hold down the fort while you are going through these changes. As a side note, can you just work part-time, maybe one or 2 classes a week? I'm not sure you will be able to qualify for disability unless you are having some serious pregnancy complications.

Answer 3

Wowwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!! Your doing soooooo much sweetheart, you can't do everything and you can't please everybody! I have a special needs son so I know your hands are full with the kids........ Ok! This is some advice, why didn't you map this out before getting pregnant? That's just a hard question I couldn't resist asking but never mind lets go over all this to meet your income guide lines..... First check and see how much your going to get in disability, next hire help at the school of dance, sorry love but you have to do it! You can't jump around dancing pregnant! Then you should break even in disability and income, if you don't then something is wrong! Man is to be the forearm of his family so your husband shouldn't have a problem stepping up! Cut your spendings of extra money out and tighten up and you should be fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

Since you are carrying a baby, that will drain a lot of energy from you too. It sounds like you and your husband both have been tremendously busy- but now you should at the very least go to lighter duty.

You're not being selfish at all. Talk with your husband and see what you can work out.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Cut down to part time hours if you can. I had a very difficult pregnancy also, and had to take time off of school and work when I was pregnant, and I ended up having my daughter two months early. Listen to your body, just because some women work til they are nine months, not all of us can do that and be healthy. This baby is only in the womb a very short time, give him or her the best chance possible.

Answer 6

The first trimester is usually very draining and your energy is sapped. Once you hit your second trimester you will feel much better. Stick it out a few more weeks and see how you feel. If you still feel exhausted, speak to your doctor and make sure you aren't anemic and if you feel you need to take time off then speak with your husband. I'm sure he will understand. After all you are making a baby!! Good luck!

Answer 7

Hire someone to take your place at the studio, work PT until you cant anymore. After the baby, start back, and double your clients cause you will have a good employee teaching the old clients.

Answer 8

I have yet to hear of a woman being allowed to go on disability because she is pregnant. Tell your husband you will work as you can and he better pick up the slack.

Answer 9

if you put everything on him then he might not be able to take it. play your cards smart. if there is help needed, hire someone. your problem is only going to get worse after you have the baby. atleast being pregnant, as uncomfortable as it can be sometimes, is nothing compared to taking care of a baby. you may need a nanny then. it's life honey. you've got to do the best possible under any circumstance.

Answer 10

you wouldn't be selfish, but let me tell you from experience, you will start to feel better once you get past the first trimester. i waited tables until i was 9 months and even though i was tired and sore sometimes, it made me feel better. as a result, i gained less and had a very easy pregnancy.