Should my hubby pitch in with the housework ?

Question

I just want opinions... please don't be nasty. It won't do any good. I was a stay at home mother for 2 1/2 years. My husband told me that if I got a part time job it would alleviate his stress level. So I did. I work a midnight shift throughout the week. I chose that shift so that my small amount of income wouldn't be taken by a daycare. It's an extremely physical job. So here's my dilema. As a stay at home mom I was able to keep the house tidy and the laundry done. Now that I don't get home until 4 in the morning I'm usually too tired to do anything the next day (which starts at 7am). So I was wondering if I should ask my hubby to pitch in with the housework ? We've been married 7 years and the most he's ever had to do was take out the garbage every now and then when asked. He works a 3 day weekend shift where all he does is stand around and push a button. I'm torn because I feel the house is the wife's duty, but I don't think it's fair that he expects so much from me. HELP ! Thanks !

Wow ! Thank you all for the supportive responses. I appreciate that you all took the time to answer. It's nice to hear that I'm not alone in this. I will definitely be talking to my dear hubby !

As for the responses that mentioned putting me in a bottle and the 50's... thanks for the laugh ! So funny !

Thanks again !!! =)

Answer 1

oh honey :(
yes he should help you.
I know how you feel, I'm in a similar situation to you.
I think he's being extremely unfair if he only does 3 days a week.
I think sometimes these husbands don't realise how much hard work it is doing the housework AND raising the kids.
I think you should sit him down and talk to him otherwise you're going to make yourself ill, due to stress and lack of sleep!
please look after yourself xx

Answer 2

Wheter u worked or not...even if u were a stay at home mom 24/7 your hubby needs to pitch in y all means! A house's work is alot to take and there is always something to do..plus taking care of the kids is also time absorbing, you should sit down and have a word with him when the kids are in bed, come to terms and agree to share house responsabilities too, u have a much stressing job shift than he does, and he should see the big effort u are making by working outside home on that schedule to then come back home and be up and ready to have everyone have their breakfast served and done., you cannot do it all on your own, if your kids are pass the toddler stage, u can also start to have them help you out in little chores they can contribute to as well. House work should NOT be only your responsability, all it takes is some talking be honest to your hubby, let him know how u feel, I am sure he will give you a hand...

Answer 3

My husband and I both work. The difference is, my work is easy (a relaxing desk job), and it's a standard 40 hours a week. He runs his own company, plus does a bunch of consulting stuff on the side, so it adds up to (sometimes) 60+ hours a week - often he comes home from the office and continues working until late at night. He's also pulling in most of the income, so the hard work is paying off. With this in mind, I take care of most of the mundane housework stuff - grocery shopping, cooking, dishes, laundry, pets (we don't have kids). I despise cleaning, so we have a maid come in twice a month; it helps a lot - and we try to keep the house semi-clean in between. My husband is in charge of general overseeing and strategizing - including bills, financial planning, and anything that relates to home improvement or fixing things. So, it works out for us. Both of us appreciate what the other is doing.

Answer 4

If your out there busting your a.ss every night of the week and he only works the weekend then hell yes, he should pull his own weight around the house. I had a hard time getting my husband to do chores as well. We have 3 kids, ages 3, 4 and 5 so I know how tired you must feel. I'm a stay at home mother now but then I was working full time and doing everything around the house, kids,laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc and I literally felt drained. When my begging him to help didn't work, I stopped doing all of his laundry, I didn't cook his meals, and I didn't pick up after him. Eventually it got to a point where he finally started doing things to help out and now he's such a neat freak, that he gets on my nerves sometimes....I think I created a monster.lol. Good luck

Answer 5

I feel your pain..When my kids where little we worked opposite shift so we did not have to put the kids in day care.I worked day doing hair and nails,He worked grave at casino as a manager. I'm not going to say his job was less stressful, or more stressful then mind, but I was on my feet all day . He sat down behind a desk all night .Yes the house work would get behind we argue. So we made a list of house hold chores he was responsible for 4 and I was responsible for 4. And that seemed to work out fine Sorry but taking out the trash should be an automatic thing for your husband to do with out asking.So sit down with your husband and tell him you need help with the house hold good luck

Answer 6

I'm a stay at home mom,full time, no part time job, and the house wouldn't get clean if he didn't help. Our daughter is only 2 months old, and I just can't do it all. If your kids are older, have them help out, and your hubby too. If he doesn't want to, he can pay for a cleaner to come in every two weeks. We've done that in the past, and it makes a big difference, it gets done, you don't have to nag, and he doesn't have to do it.

Answer 7

He should help with the house work without being asked regardless of either of your schedules.

Or, if he had a job which was taking all of his time and energy he should have the option of hiring and paying for someone to do it in his place.

If he lived alone wouldn't he want to keep his home clean and do his laundry? Why would that be any different if he is living with someone he claims to treasure? Was he looking for a maid or a wife?

I don't like housework so I hire someone to do it.

Answer 8

Simply sit down with him and ask how he's feeling about your new job and his stress level - did your taking on that extra work have the desired affect for him? Then tell him that your stress level has now increased significantly and would like to negotiate household chores so that you are both in balance. Who knows how he will react, but it is not an unreasonable request. Tell him you are overwhelmed and want to continue the job as it seems to have helped him/the family - but that you also need his help to keep up with the house now.

Answer 9

Wow. The 1950's called...They want you back!

Of course he should help. In my house, I do all my own laundry, I sweep and mop the kitchen floors every week, I empty and load the dishwasher every night, and I vacuum the living room and bedrooms. I also dust all the furniture and do all the outside chores. My wife does everything else. Works out great for us. We each do the things we don't mind doing.

Answer 10

the house work is not the wife's duty it was way back in the old days ash your husband to give u a helping hand i'm sure he wont mind and if he does just tell him to do it no questions asked your not the only person in the marriage