my daughter just got her first serious bf. She meets him afterschool and goes and hangs out at his house till 10pm....2 days during the school week and sees him all weekend. i told her i thought that 6 hours over at his house I thought was to much. Shes fighting with me that she never gets to spend time with him because they dont go to the same school and live 30 miles from each other. Am i being unreasonable? Any advice?
2007-12-03 00:15:00 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
To be honest when I was that age I'd hang out with my boyfriend only on the weekends. We lived 45 mins from one another. I actually stayed the night at his place all weekend. 2 days during the week and then hanging out on the weekends may be a little too much! Make sure that she isn't always the one going over there. Maybe if during the week he comes to your place it wouldn't be so bad! The weekends though would be about right for her to hang out with her boyfriend. I also wouldn't let her be there during the week until 10. Maybe 7-8 the latest. Homework is more important during the week make her study and then on the weekends she can hang out with him. Give her a cerfew if you go with her just being able to hang out with her boyfriend on the weekends.
2007-12-03 00:20:27 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Rebecca♥ 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
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2016-10-10 03:31:47 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing I would be more concerned about is if her BF's parents are home when they are there after school. I wouldn't be comfortable with them being home alone there for a few hours if the parents are still at work. If they have adults around and his parents are fine with her being there until 10 pm and she is actually doing her homework while there, then I wouldn't have a problem with her being there 2 times a week. As for the weekends that is the time most people spend with their boyfriends and girlfriends but she must have a curfew.
2007-12-03 00:30:43 · answer #3 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You're not being unreasonable. If she's spending all of that time with him, then she has no life of her own. She's not hanging with her friends, she's probably not doing her school work. If there is no parental supervision at his place, she's probably having sex.
Make sure she's on birth control, because once she starts having sex, she's not going to stop just because you told her to. Make sure she's informed of the consequences of sex at her age--STDs, pregnancy, broken heart. And start filling her days up so her time is limited with the BF. Also have the BF come over to your house a few time a week. (If she puts up a fuss at him coming over to the house instead of her going there, then you know she's up to no good). Don't forbid her to see the BF altogether because then you guarantee she will sneak around behind your back.
2007-12-03 03:27:13 · answer #4 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i would say a few hours after school like til 7 or 8pm would be fine but not twice during the week and weekends trust i know the stuff i did at 16 when my parents woud let me go to my bfs almost every day why can't he come to your house once a week and then her go there but not til 10pm
she is def doing things she isn't supposta or is very close
along w/ telling her about spending less time w/ him i would also have a major sex talk w/ her BC might be a good idea too
2007-12-03 01:10:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You think it is to much and she thinks it is not enough, see if you can compromise with her in the middle. She is a young woman not a child and to gain her cooperation now and in the future, you need to listen and respect what she has to say. Like it or not it is her choices to make in the end. Insure she has access to birth control if need be. Do not turn this into a battle, you will loose, parents never come out on the winning side when they try to interfere with a son/daughters relationship. Your daughter may take drastic unneeded steps if she thinks you are attacking her relationship with her boyfriend.
2007-12-03 04:19:31 · answer #6 · answered by MadMike 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
no i don't think you are being unreasonable ur daughter should know the limits u r in charge not her and although they do live far a way it doesn't make an excuse for her to spend 8 hrs at his place , lay down the law and tell her .. she should not be spending tht much time with him and 4 days is ENOUGH just tell her she may not respect you but she'll understand when she has kids
hope that helps
2007-12-03 01:03:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I don't think you're unreasonable at all. Limits have to be set. She has to concentrate on schoolwork too. Maybe allow one evening during the week, curfew permitting, and both days (but not necessarily nights) at the weekends? When I was 17, my boyfriend lived over 60 miles away from me, so I only saw him at weekends. We're still together, so it never did us any harm!
2007-12-03 00:21:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I believe that you should let your daughter out with her boyfriend but 8 hours the most you should let her out with her boyfriend. On weekends you can let her out with him but however curfew should be at 1 the latest. I have an 16 year old daughter so I know at first i didnt want her going out but I have to understand that she is getting older and repsonsibilties will be a task. So think about it.
2007-12-03 01:22:15 · answer #9 · answered by Gina E 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
WOW thought i was reading my own typing..lol my daughter is 16. she will be 17 in a couple of months. her boyfriend just turned 17. they go to different high schools too. and they spend as much time as they can together..lol bt my house is the hang out house. friday, they see each other from 3:30-11 at nite. saturday from 9:30-11 at nite, sunday same as saturday.. monday he stays in his town, tuesday from 3:30-11 at nite, wed he stays in his town, thursday 3:30-11 at nite. when they arent together they are on the phone.so as u can tell mine spends alot of time with hers too. its a teenage thing. i do have mine on birthcontrol. not that i think its ok to have sex but i feel when 2 ppl love each other then nature takes over. i have been with my hubby since i was 15yrs old. 22yrs later we are still happily inlove and we wont tell our kids they dont know what they are feeling. if ur concerned then have him come to your house. let them hang out in her room. DOOR OPEN....
2007-12-03 05:56:45 · answer #10 · answered by kitttkat2001 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋