im going for 50 days, last year he kept on calling me everyday asking me to come back because he cant stand staying alone without me.i dont want to leave him but i have 2 ,i havent seen my family in a year. it hurts but i dont know what to do. how can i make him enjoy his vacation :( ?
2007-12-02 18:53:35 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he cant come because he have alot of work to do, he havent seen his family for 2 years since we got married. he feels lonely when i leave :(
2007-12-02 18:58:26 · update #1
no we dont have children. my family live so far away.i have to be there for my brothers wedding :( my question is what can i do to help him enjoying his time even when im far away. ?
2007-12-02 19:06:24 · update #2
to get to my parents it takes me 2 hours from va to DC then 12 hours from DC to london then another 12 hours to arrive. i have one chance in a year to see them
2007-12-02 19:32:16 · update #3
I'm In college. My girlfriend and I started dating in high school. She goes to college a long way away, and so I've had to spend a semester without her close to me. I Love her a whole lot, and this distance thing has sucked, cause I miss her so bad. I know what its like. But for now, she's my girlfriend, not my wife.
50 days is a very long time. I know. But I really don't think you need to be that far away from him for that long. Go visit your family, cause family is important. But you married this guy. You are his wife. and because you married him, he is now your closest family. It is important that you don't unnecessarily leave him for a long time. How would you feel if you had to stay home while your husband left you for a 50 day vacation with his family? You probably wouldn't be too happy.
Now if you absolutely have to go to attend to your other family, then go. but 50 days still sounds excessive. and You both will miss each other a whole lot. If you Love each other. But I've found out that sending snail mail is special, and he'll really appreciate that. also, send a lot of emails, and call him a lot. that will help you both a lot. This will help.
If you two haven't been far apart for a long period of time before, then this will certainly be quite the experience. being apart from the one you Love is tough, and you will grow and learn. I Hope it is for the best, I hope this turns out well.
Again though, if you don't absolutely have to do this, don't. You could try limiting your visit, and have your family take a trip to visit you sometime.
Also, talk through this with him. You two left your families to be bound to each other, and become one. that's what marriage is about. If you two can't reach a unanimous decision, I would say go see a marriage counselor.
2007-12-02 19:32:58 · answer #1 · answered by Il fuoco di furia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How far away does your family live? I live almost 2,000 miles away from my parents and when I go visit them it's always for a couple of weeks or maybe even 16 or 17 days --and my husband doesn't usually come because he can't get that much time off of work. Also, I don't go every year. Heck, I don't even go every other year. Why do you have to make this trip every year? I can understand him being sad --that's a really long trip to be making once a year!-- but calling you every day sounds really immature and insecure! He's an adult, is he not? He'll survive.
Help him find ways to stay busy while you are gone. Is there a church group he can join that meets up at least once a week? Get involved in some sort of club? Join a league? Do some volunteer work? He needs something to occupy his time so he's not just sitting with nothing better to do but make you miserable!
I have a friend who is from Germany and she and her husband and kids live in the U.S. She visits her parents every few years with the kids but her husband has only gone a couple of times. They always stay for about 2 months and her husband does not complain about the long trip. However, I think it makes a difference that she does not go to Germany every year.
2007-12-03 03:20:19 · answer #2 · answered by mamabunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Visit yes, 50 days?, no.
You have started your own family and they must be first. You didn't mention if there are children involved. How old are you and he? Ever hear of "Ma Bell"?. How long did you stay last year?
If it were me I would be very upset if you chose to stay with your family for more than a few days. What am I? Chopped liver? You should be home with me. Now let's plan a vacation that we can both go to visit.
Sorry, but I think if you are with your family, you are in the wrong place and should limit the amount of time you stay.
Why do you "have 2"? Is he on a 50 day vacation also?
You simply must reevaluate your priorities and if he isn't at the top, you married wrong.
2007-12-03 03:01:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
50 days is a REALLY long time to be apart. How far away does your family live? Maybe he could come down part way through and spend a weekend with you - at a hotel, not at your family's home (You two will have a LOT of catching up to do).
He may be a wimp for not wanting to be apart for that long, or he may just really love you. I could see getting upset at him for being a wimp if it were a week long trip, but with a 7 week trip, you should try to accommodate him as much as you can - if you love him and want to stay together.
2007-12-03 03:03:05 · answer #4 · answered by Josh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why for 50 days? Are you in the wedding and not just attending? If your not part of the wedding party (sister of the groom doesnt count) 2 months is an awful long time. You knew it would be this way and so do he, your going to have to get that priority straightened out or there will be problems.
2007-12-03 05:04:17 · answer #5 · answered by kttphoenix 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would first try to take him along and shorten up the vacation so you all can have time together, but as a family.
If that doesn't work, then email him ever day a short note and say what you feel for him.
50 days is a long time, I wouldn't like it, so I know how he will be feeling.
2007-12-03 02:58:29 · answer #6 · answered by John M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why not include your husband? You can invite your family to come over to your place so you do not have to be gone for such a long time. Or You can take your husband with you.
Another alternative, cut your vacation short. Why 50 days?
2007-12-03 03:01:52 · answer #7 · answered by eni_usa 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remind him that he's an adult, not a child. It's one thing to miss each other, but quite another for him to be hounding you by phone when he knows you are there to visit your family. Chances are he lives close enough to his family to see them frequently. No one dies from missing someone...so enjoy your time away and don't feel guilty about it
2007-12-03 02:58:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
wel make sure you call him everyday, have something planned for the both of yallso when you get back, yll will have something to do together and to be all alone....the way i kept in touch with my husband is through the net...i have IM and a web cam so he can see me as well!! give him some pointers on what he can do for fun while your gone
2007-12-03 02:57:04 · answer #9 · answered by samantha 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just go on your vacation and enjoy it... talk to your husband as often as you can on the phone, and send him nice cards.. that way he will know you are thinking of him.
he is obviously a grown up, and i think he can fend for himself for 50 days while you are gone.
take care
2007-12-03 03:07:53 · answer #10 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋