He's never physically cheated on me,however he had an online relationship with a woman where he exchanged naked pics, nude sexual videos, and cyber sex. He lies about things, stupid things, gets calls he says are wrong numbers but when I checked the bill they clearly are not. He has text messages from guys about meeting and coming over (things i know nothing about and if people are coming into my home i should know about even if it's to watch tv!). I just don't trust him. I also don't think I'm in love with him anymore. I care for him very much but think I would be better off on my own. We don't have any real communication, I try and say things and he doesn't pay attention or gets defensive and blames it on me or says "oh everything is my fault huh"-meaning himself. I basically feel like I have a roommate at this point and don't know what to do. I'm just tired.
2007-12-02 18:15:46 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you want to work it out, try counseling...If you think it's too late for that or just want it to be over, then start the divorce proceedings...I can't stand a liar and if he is lieing about stupid little stuff then he will lie about big stuff. Plus the things he did over the internet is cheating and not cool. If the trust is gone, it will never work. Get out now and start being happy.
2007-12-02 18:19:43 · answer #1 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And of course we're getting your side here arent we? Cheating is of course wrong online or off, but how were things before and during this cyber cheat? HE cant have friends now? Women call that controlling last time I checked. Im not placing all the blame on you, but it takes 2 peopel to make a mrriage work, trying EVERY day, not just when your not tired. To be honest, I think both of you hopped out of this at the same time. Try counseling, at least for a few weekly sessions. If not, it may indeed nbe time for the big D.
2007-12-02 21:15:52 · answer #2 · answered by kttphoenix 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband left the marriage a long time ago. He just hasn't moved out yet. You say he hasn't "physically cheated" on you. Even if this were true (which i highly doubt) he has given you more than enough reason not to trust him. A faithful man doesn't have unexplained text messages, or exchange nude photos, or have cyber sex on the internet. I imagine if you called these "men" who are texting your husband, a woman would answer. He is a liar and you deserve better. Please leave him know and start getting on with your life.
Good luck to you.
2007-12-02 18:25:27 · answer #3 · answered by sunshine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was just recently in a relationship where I had all of the same symptoms as your husband has now. I wasn't sure why I did some of the things I did to my ex-fiancee. Now that I am out of the relationship, its clear to me that she was not the right one for me and that is why I would pull stupid stuff like your husband is pulling. Take it from me.... You don't even know the half of it when it comes to your husband. The stuff I was caught with was only a small piece of things I shouldn't have been doing. You can count on the same for your husband. You have two choices.... Continue to show extreme patience and hope he realizes that he is not on the right path for a successful relationship and that life would not be better alone. Or, cut your losses. You would already be justified in doing so. Hope that helped.
2007-12-02 18:26:36 · answer #4 · answered by Shawn P 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't have kids, leave. Find someone to stay with for a short while and just get some space. Don't jump into divorce, just separate and see how it goes first. Maybe he'll realize he needs to change.
If you have kids, try counseling. There are a lot of places that will do it for very cheap or free if that is a concern. Even if he won't go, you can go and learn how to deal with things by yourself.
One thing that might help is doing something you did when you first met, like playing pool or going bowling even if you never do it anymore. Try to have some fun outside of the house just the two of you.
2007-12-02 18:24:30 · answer #5 · answered by Katherine 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess you have to decide if you want to continue the relationship or not. If you're done, then you have to make your resolve and leave. If you think you want to work things out, then you need to communicate with him. See if he's willing to attend marital counseling. But either way you have a decision to make. Leaving isn't always easy, but sometimes, thats what you have to do for yourself.
Trust is a major factor in a relationship. You can have all of the love in the world for him, but that wont stop your feelings of hurt and betrayal.
2007-12-02 18:27:33 · answer #6 · answered by ariesguy_78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only reading what you wrote, Why are you still there? May not be what you want to hear but maybe it would be best for the both of you if you tried a separation. Maybe if you step away for a moment (the both of you) you can see just what kind of marriage you have and if it's worth saving. Doesn't sound like there's much left there to save...good luck
2007-12-03 04:29:05 · answer #7 · answered by IDGAS 101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get some relationship training for your self and see if things can improve - otherwise, move on and see if you can make the next relationship work better with some good relationship training skills
2007-12-02 18:40:05 · answer #8 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, seems like you need a new life. i hope you dont have any kids with this guy. then its easier for you to move on.
2007-12-02 18:44:01 · answer #9 · answered by angie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shawn is right
2007-12-02 18:49:02 · answer #10 · answered by crankydad_9999 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋