how do u get rid of the feelings of wanting to be a mother?

Question

how do u get rid of the feelings of wanting to be a mother. i am only 15 and my boyfriend is 17. we do not want a child and i am smart enough to know to not actually have a child but how can i get rid of the feelings??give advise dont critic ok

how do u get rid of the feelings of wanting to be a mother. i am only 15 and my boyfriend is 17. we do not want a child and i am smart enough to know to not actually have a child but how can i get rid of the feelings??give advise dont critic ok


thank you everyone who already gave me some advise i have babysat and i do have a new cat and dog what else can i try........ <3 jary

i am not going to have a child.

i do not plan to for a long time when i know i can provide a wonderful life and appropiate school experience for my child.

<3 jary

yes i do know what it is like to be a mother

i was legally responsible for my niece for 4 months

i was her mom prettymuch
up at night, baby bottles, diapers, school, work. everything and i wierdly enough loved it

yes it was extremly hard but i loved having someone depend on me and it felt wonderful. i am extremly responsible and i keep good grades

<3 jary

Answer 1

I felt the same way when I was your age, so I know what you are going through. I am the oldest of six brothers and sisters and four of them are way younger than me (by10 to 15 years).
I pretty much raised two of them and babysat the other two all the time, not to mention I babysat lots of other kids too. I really got a strong mommy like bond over the years and when I was about 15/16 years old all I could think about was having a baby of may own. I knew that I had to wait for lots of reasons so I did and now I am glad I did. When I was 21 I was engaged and ready for a baby at last. I had no worrys because I already knew how to take care of babies and had lots of experience under my belt. After a long, difficult, and painful pregnancy I finally had my baby boy that I've been wanting for so long. After two days in the Hospital we finally got to go home.

This is when things started to unravel..... Once I got him home I was on my own, I had my fiance but he wasn't much help because he wasn't sure about proper infant care and this was all new to him. Our son kept crying and crying and we weren't sure why, we feed him, burped him, changed him, rocked him, you named it we tried it and still he kept crying. I was terrified! I knew everything would be okay because I am great with all kids and I've had so much experience taking care of babies so why am I having problems now.

The whole point in me telling you this story is because like you I wanted a baby so bad and I knew having a baby would make me so happy and I was fully prepared. But once you have your own child and you are fully responsible for this child yourself, it is so much different. Of coarse no one can help you understand that until you yourself experience it, hopefully you can trust the knowledge you receive from other women who have been there before.

I am 25 now and have had 3 children, my first son died at 6 weeks old of pnomonia. We had no warning, he had a little cold for about a week before he died and we even took him to the doctor and they said it was just a cold and that he would be fine. Two days later I woke up to find him not breathing. I paid about $15,000 for the medical and funeral expiences that took me three years to pay off. I decided to have another baby right away for obvious reasons and a third child soon after. For the past four years I have been struggling to juggle working, College, and being Mommy too two little ones and it has been so hard.

My Advice to you is..... Wait until.......You have finished College, Have a stable home, and you are Married. Things will turn out so much better for you and your children. When you finally get to become a mom, you don't want to have to worry about how you're gonna juggle going to school, working to support your child, and taking care of your baby all at the same time. You should just think how much better things will be for you and your future children if you just wait until you are older and more established. Most women I know that are in there 30s now, that had kids at a younger age, all say they wish they would have waited to have children until they were a little older and more secure. You should enjoy your teenage years now, and just think about how wonderful it is gonna be when you have children someday. I hope this helps you, sorry so long. Good Luck!

Answer 2

You are a woman. You will never get rid of the feelings of wanting to be a mother. There is nothing wrong with being a mother @ 14 or older. If God didn't want women to become pregnant @ 12 or older then he wouldn't let women get their periods @ 9 and older. My mother in law got married @ 15 and gave birth to my oldest brother in law(He's 35) @ 16 and he's the smartest child out of 7 kids. If you give birth young then your son or daughter will be very smart. Studies have shown this.

Answer 3

I think maybe you need to babysit for a couple of days {not Hours} to get the feeling of having no life of your own.Seriously.Once you have a child for a couple of days you will be ready to give him back to his parents as soon as you can.Just think that is what you are going to be dealing with if you have a child of your own.And you are not going to be able to hand the baby off to someone else when you have had enough of him.Think really long and hard about this.You will ruin your life if you have a baby so young.Get some parenting books and read some of th estories in there to put a better perspective on things for you.

Answer 4

Try gettin a job dealing with children. I wanted a child when I was 17 but knew I was too young, so I was blessed to have a job teaching dance to kids, and that surpressed my feelings of wanting to be a mom at a young age. Also, set other goals for your life, and put all your energy into accomplishing those goals rather than focusing on becoming a mom soon. Think about all the great things you want to be able to provide for your child, and know that at your tender age, you can't do that yet.

Answer 5

Walk in a Mom's shoes. Literally take care of a baby for 24-48 hours straight (if you know someone willing to let you do this).

I guarantee this will help you with the "urge" to have baby.

I had my baby at 36 years old and I still didn't have the complete picture of just how exhausting and time consuming babies are.

Enjoy your life! You'll be a Mom some day!

Answer 6

Hi Hon... just about everyone has maternal instincts, and lots of people (like you) realize they have to wait until later on in life to have a child.

Do you know anyone who has small children or a baby? Perhaps a family member? You could spend time with them, or babysit...

Babies and small children sure are cute, and they are also a lot of responsibility and expense... plus they can keep you up at night, all night, and the list goes on!

Don't feel as if you are abnormal for feeling that motherly instinct... maybe you can redirect it to other people's kids for now.

take care.

Answer 7

Realize there is alot of time left to be young...and try to make the relationship work so some day you will be a mother with him

im 20 and have been in a relationship for almost 4 years and im having a hard time w/ that right now i keep catching myself talking about it w/ my bf and he isn't ready for kids well we aren't money wise and we still have to sow those wild oats b4 kids

Answer 8

when you have baby sat has t been for hrs looking after a newborn, who crys, and you have to feed it and change the nappy? how about you concentrate on ur study and work on getting a good job so one day you will be able to have a baby and support it, go on some websites and research how the baby is born, what happens during pregnancy, how they cost, what can happen to your relationship. ask your mum how hard it was when you were little, look at your life and how much freedom you have, you can go out whenever you like at the drop of a hat, your money is for you only, you can sit on the internet for as long as you like, look at all of those things and realise that you dont need that in your life, your young so enjoy it for as long as you can.

Answer 9

Start focusing more on school. Plan on going to college and getting a really good job where you can give your future kids everything they need. Maybe start picking out baby names for your FUTURE kids, or starting a hope chest (put cute baby things into the chest for when you have kids).
As for right now, keep in mind that teenage mothers often have to work their butts off just to make ends meet, and you don't want that for yourself or your babies.

Good luck!

Answer 10

It is natural for a female to want have a child.
I think you have answered in some part your own question -
"yes it was extremly hard but i loved having someone depend on me and it felt wonderful."
I am wondering if it's not your biological need to have child but your emotional need to be needed/accepted/loved by others. ie be needed by a baby.
Just a thought.