Too Young?

Question

I am 20 years old and my fiance is 25, we have been ttc for 2 months now *in tww*. We are buying a house (as soon as we find one we like), we both have steady jobs, go to college, and we will have enough money saved up by the time future baby gets here for me to take 3-6 months off work. But people still think I am too young to have a baby. I know I'm ready. I love kids and I can't wait to raise one of my own and my fiance feels the same way. What do you think. All answers appreciated. *except get married first, because we have lived together for almost three years and I don't think a piece of paper will make us better parents,and we are getting married in September) Thanks in advance for your help.

Answer 1

Don't let people tell you whats best for you. You sound confident in your ability to live a happy life and provide for your child. Thats what matters. People might say you're too young, but who cares? I was 17 when I had my son ( I know I was too young) but my husband and I made it, we've been married for 8.5 years and now have 2 kids.

I think it's okay to seek other people's opinions, but don't let them ultimately make any decisions for you. If they say something you don't like, then you know what subject to avoid when talking to them. Only you know what's best for YOU!

I wish you a happy healthy pregnancy and a safe delivery of a beautiful baby! Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

I do not think you are young at all in terms of having a baby nowadays. There are people having babies very young now. You are in a good situation and I think that you will be good parents. Marriage can wait. You have lived together for three years you said. A marriage is a piece of paper stating that you take his last name. That is basically what it is. You are going to get married so I see no problem whatsoever in having a baby.

Answer 3

I'm 23. My husband and I waited this long not because I was young, but because we need a different house and have some money saved up now. Make sure you feel ready, the last thing you want to is to decide to wait because you aren't ready, then oh... to late. You want to feel confident you are as ready as one can be before you start trying because once the job is done, it can't be undone (ethically, especially since you made the choice before hand). Good luck, I'm sure you will be a wonderful mother no matter when you decide to have a child.

Answer 4

I think it's really difficult to define what is *too young* when it comes to having children. People of all ages accidentally get pregnant, and for most it works out just fine! Life definately becomes harder, and there can be a lot more difficulties before you're settled (college and kids don't go well together :o) ), but it's a rare person who can regret their babies. The question I would ask is, are you too young to decide that you want to have a baby with this particular man? But if you've made the decision to marry him, then I already know your answer!
So, I rambled a lot, but my overall answer is, I don't think you're too young as long as you understand that babies are hard, your relationship with your fiance will be harder so you BOTH will have to work harder, money will be tighter, college is more difficult, and overall, sacrifices will have to be made.

Answer 5

I think you should go for it. My husband and I were always given 'unwanted advice' when we were younger. As it turns out 90% of the time we were right with what we wanted to do. The only regrets we have are not doing things because someone else advised us not to.

My in-laws have been hassling us to have kids for many years but we did what we wanted and have spent many years travelling and living overseas. Now home and both in our early 30's are TTC #1.

Go for it Girl!!!

Goodluck

Answer 6

I think where alot of people get in trouble is when they start deciding for other people the level of maturity they are at. Some people are wiser than others. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, you are lining things us. You sound like you know what is ahead and have made a rational decision. Go for it and tell all who say you are too young to butt out!

Answer 7

I'm 20 soon to be 21 I was married at 18 and we have a 20 month old and a 4 month old and I'm ready to have another one! you are not too young at all!

Answer 8

I don't think you're too young, in terms of not being a good, responsible parent, because I think that doesn't have that much to do with age, but I think 20 is awfully young, just for YOU to miss out on some of life's experiences. You can't even walk into a bar and order a margarita yet! If I were you, I'd wait just a couple more years. Have that margarita, and maybe go on a trip first! For someone who is responsible at a young age (as it sounds like you are), I think 23 is a good age to have a baby. If you're not responsible at a young age (as I TOTALLY was not) I'd say 33 (just because that's when I plan to have one!) Good luck!

Answer 9

i dont believe age detemines 1's ability to be matture and raise a child. there are people out there much younger than ure self taking of kids and dont want to but still getting the job done. if u and ure fiance are really ready and making preperation then I say go 4 it. people r going to talk regardless

good luck

Answer 10

I think its a good idea to wait because when u have a baby it takes up all of your time, your still young give yourself time to enjoy life a little more. I'm only 22 and I have a 3yr old... it takes up most of your time having to pack up your child in a car seat, pack a bag, feeding and changing diapers at any moment. I feel like i'm missing out on a lot because I don't get to go hang out with my friends when I want to, I can't go to bed until he's ready for bed, I can't eat until he eats. I think you are suppose to have the most fun in your twenties, have fun alone with your fiance for now cause once it happens there's no going back.