ok i think i need profesional help?

Question

okay heres my problem i have a baby boy who i love and he has nothing to do with this..but hes had was very verbally abusive to me during my pregnancy. and even after we arent together we see each other cause of the baby...he calls me fat and ugly..tells me i need to loose weight i know i dont look the same..but i just had a baby i knows it been 8months but still.im trying to get back to normal but is hard when im the only one takin care of him and he demands my attention all the time......wat do i do..shud i get help...i feel so ugly..but i know is not my fault...but the way this guy makes me feel...is so ugly and i jsut cant take it anymore..and theres no way i can get out of it..cause i still have to see his face cause we have a babytogether..he cheated on me verbally abused me and i cant take all this anger i have inside. i dont know wat to do.

thanks to all for ur opinions. i try to do my best and not let the words get to me. now for (jacqueline) who tells me to get off the frensh fries and burgers....first i dont eat them..dont really have the time with the baby to be goin out to get them. i dont drive. and 2nd. my son is a very active baby who doesnt let me do nothing. 3rd. i havent been able to loose weight because i have hyperthyrodism. and for wat my doctor tells me im not gonna loose weight until i get that under control with some meds. i wanst askin for pitty from no one i came on here askin for opinions and wasnt expecting to get such a rude response from u. and about chating for hours how do u know huh? ur on here respondin im not thinkin that ur on 24/7, wat u say about 8 month old babies sleep twice a day(well good mothers babys at least) u really gotta be dum and have guts to say that to me...im a good mom and that has nothing to do with it. and yes i do know lots of single women had babys, my mom was one of them

Answer 1

I am sorry for the pain you are feeling at this moment.

The only clear advice I can give you is that you truly need to rebuild your own self esteem. A lot of times, people blame others for the way they feel about themselves. The meaning of self-esteem is essentially the way YOU feel about YOU.

Understand that you are a priceless gem that now has this little person who thinks the world of you. To that child, you are God.

As for your baby's father, you need to prepare yourself for the break and move on toward better things. Sure, he's have to come around to see his child. However, he doesn't have the right to disrespect you. Do not allow him to verbally abuse you any longer.

Men who are insulting like this usually have issues with low self-esteem. They feel better by hurting others. Break the cycle by just walking away from him. The cold-shouldered approach works really well so only talk to or see him when it is absolutely necessary.

Answer 2

I'm So Sorry Girl. The Guy Is A COMPLETE LOSER I Swear. He Should Be A Real Man And See What Some Women Have To Go Through. The Most Important Thing Right Now Is To Take care Of The Kid Which You're Doing. After All This I Can Tell you Still Love Him. PROVE To Him The Opposite Of His Negativity Girl. If Ya Wanna Lose Weight He's Got To Take The Baby Sometimes So You Can Have Some Time To Yourself So That You May Be Able To Start Going To The Gym. Don't Stress Think Positively And Show Him What You Can Do Babygurl...And Do Not Get Back With Him. Wrong Idea.
Bless Up

Answer 3

It's hard when you've been in a verbally abusive r'ship. Usually the self-confidence is the first thing to go. You blame yourself and even though you'd like to think the words don't hurt....well, they always do. You need to limit the amount of time you're around this guy and for that fact, you need to limit the amount of time he has with your child. Just because he donated sperm to make this baby doesn't' mean he'll be a good father. If he treated you this way, what do you think your baby will learn from him? Do you want your baby boy growing up to treat women this way?

If I were you, I would go to court to figure out custody/visitation arrangements and child support so things are written in stone and he can't legally get out of something. You will need proof of how verbally abusive he is. You can simply buy a small handheld tape recorder (called a dictaphone) and record your phone conversations.....just as backup. The judge needs to know what you're dealing with in this guy. And yes, if I were you, I would also seek professional help. You need a mental professional to help you regain the self-esteem he trampled.

Answer 4

Seek a counselor. Move out of state where you don't have to see him as much. I just had a baby 8 months ago, and my husband NEVER downs my weight! This was my 3rd, and I am having a really hard time losing the weight! Don't take his verbal abuse! Your child doesn't need to be exposed to that, and you don't deserve treatment like that! This is teaching your baby bad behavior, especially when you let the man get away with treating you like that!

Answer 5

He still is verbally abusing you. I suggest you stop talking to him unless it has to do with an emergency with your child. If he has visitation rights and he picks your boy up just tell him you can care less on what he thinks because other men find you attractive and also state you do not want him to disrespect you in front of your home. If he continues to do this then have someone else hand him over the baby.

Answer 6

Stop taking his abuse. You do not need to see him. If he cannot behave when he picks up the baby do not let him come and get him. Tell him to shut his mouth or leave. If he causes a scene, call the cops. Does he pay support for your baby? If he does not you need to get that taken care of. Do not feel ugly. It takes time to lose your baby weight. You do not need his approval. He needs to grow up and should not be doing this in front of the baby.

Answer 7

#1. You do NOT have to see him just because you have a baby together...whoever told you that is an idiot.
#2. You can get a restraining order against him, b/c he's an a**
#3. Contact child support people and get a caseworker and make that guy pay.
#4. You aren't ugly, you should know that and respect yourself.
#5. Stay away from a**es that make you feel ashamed of yourself.

I can't stress this enough:
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SEE THAT GUY JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A BABY TOGETHER!!! GET A RESTRAINING ORDER!!!

Answer 8

I'm sorry that nobody made you feel beautiful
O told you enough that you are beautiful
But the only person that can tell you that you are because you are is YOU

Love yourself
Start with small things like " I like it when I smile than my lovely teeth shows"
Or boy I really have nice hands
Or I have a nice *** even if I have to say it myself

If you love yourself and respect yourself than you will have a standard...
And if anyone tells you different, like nausty things, than that person is not allowed to talk with you or be your friend. You chose friends carefully and boyfriends more carefully.

You have to protect yourself

Answer 9

so how about stop gobbling french fries and humburgers and pizzas and start exercising? u may run with a stroller when u re walking your baby in fresh air. u may exercise4 at home while baby is sleeping - 8 months old babies sleep twice a day (well, good mothers' babies at least). u re just so full of self pity. lots of women had babies, lots of them were even single moms and many women successfully lost weight and became normal looking again. me personally when i was having 2 babies - one new born and one 1.5 years old i was still studying in uni getting my master degree. and i managed to exercise sometimes twice a day. and i didn't have any help. how did i do it? well, first i didn't have a computer to sit and chat for hours. second i didn't feel pity for myself. i wanted to get master degree and lose weight. which i did

Answer 10

well...first REALIZE his opinion should MEAN NOTHING to you....why worry what some low-life loser thinks of you....you have your baby to worry about and be strong for...be strong for your baby....and let the jerk bf pout and cry...all he wants....you'll find someone who can treat you with respect and teach your boy to be a good man

if you allow him to demean you your teaching your baby a BAD thing...stand up for yourself....and if necessary make fun of him right back for any of his shortcomings and tell him he was lucky to be with you