My wife got upset with me when I told he that I had some concerns with a friend I felt was being dishonest. The story is that her and her friend(s) enjoyed a lady's night out and stopped at a forbidden hot spot. Not forbidden by myself but her friends husband. I was asked not to say a word of this to the husband during a rare couples night out. Afterwards I expressed to my wife that I felt very uncomfortable to be asked to keep quite and asked my wife not to let her friends dishonesty traits rub off on her. My wife's reaction further concerned me. She defended her friend in such a way it lead to an arguement and felt as if she was on trial. No trial, just me expresing my concern. I have no reason not to trust my wife, but now if she is out with a dishonest friend I would not feel the same.
I do not like this feeling and talking to her about it got us no where. Should I pursue this further? Should I trust her when in this company?
2007-12-02 16:32:39 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Obviously your wife feels that your friend has done nothing wrong. Of course you should trust your wife! You may be headed for making assumptions, and from a wife's point of view, you're asking for trouble. Believe your wife, she's being completely honest with you....if she wasn't she wouldn't have trusted you to not say anything to her friend's husband.
2007-12-02 16:40:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your wife not the friend. I think you are totally right. As a married woman I would think your wife would try to help her friend do right by her husband. I don't think it was fair you were brought in on it and keep the lie going. Friends are supposed to support and look out for one another, this woman your wife is hanging out with does not have your wifes best intrest at heart and she is definately not setting a good example-- I would have a heart to heart with your wife and ask her to see it from your perspective- of if you had a daughter would she approve if your child behaved that way. Life is so crazy and it is very easy to get caught up in the moment espically if liquor is involved. What if the floozy friend met up w/ some dude and he had an aggressive friend that really liked your wife--You can't be too safe. You can tell alot by the company you keep and you should tell your wife you love her too much and she deserves better friends
2007-12-02 16:58:30 · answer #2 · answered by jet75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that she is defended her friend so strongly is a good reason to be worried...but it could be possible that the way it came across from you made her defensive.
Your wife is not going to change because of her company. She is an adult and will do something that she wants to do irregardless of who is around her. If you trust her, then you do not have anything to worry about.
As far as your comfort, advise her that if asked then you will be honest about the situation because you do not feel comfortable not telling the truth. Let her know in a very nice, respectful tone, and remember to say "I" and not "you". I suggest if you choose to pursue the topic again, take some time to think about it first. Try some stress relieving techniques and then talk to her.
2007-12-02 16:58:35 · answer #3 · answered by 사파이어 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd stop and desist any attempts to conceive right now as that would be the last thing that you just guys want. She is surely being untrue...To what extent, who knows. Nevertheless, someone developing anonymous e mail bills and accepting e-vites to hold with an ex is doing whatever that they shouldnt be. To not point out this (and i'm sorry if this hurts...If she obtained pregnant now, would you be certain that it's yours?!?). Screw all of that. I would sit down together with your spouse and have a protracted long speak about the whole lot and something. I would also insist on some marital counseling. Simply don't bring a youngster into this mess proper now.
2016-08-06 09:38:58 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt the same way when my husband told me he didn't like the people I hung around with even before we got married and he knew them all even before we got married. It will be hard for you to convince her to stay away from them and just keep on reminding her that its not her you don't trust - its them. Make that clear. If she asked you to be quiet for her friend's sake, just tell her you will not be privy to her friend's lies but instead - will stay out of her friend's business. If you trust your wife, you won't be worried. But I understand where you're coming from.
2007-12-02 16:39:48 · answer #5 · answered by Equinox 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I'd feel the same way. A 'forbidden" spot? Now, that might make me angry if a spouse tried to tell I had a place that was "forbidden by them"!
2007-12-02 16:47:03 · answer #6 · answered by primalclaws1974 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why the woman lied. She is an adult and does not need permission to go to a club. Instead of lying she should have just told him how it was. Your wife is not going to lie just because she hangs out with her.
2007-12-02 16:42:00 · answer #7 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had something like this happen. I'm a girl and married. You have to get your things straight you are the man there and you have to tell her i don't like this and tell her "put yourself in my place if i was hanging out with a friend of mine you dont like you would not be happy" . Good luck!
2007-12-02 16:44:55 · answer #8 · answered by Diana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should take care of your wife and dont mind other lady way of life.Have more fate in your couple ,let the other live their messy thing
2007-12-02 16:42:14 · answer #9 · answered by Master T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she don't want you to say anything because she is doing the same thing women's we do the same as mens when we are away from our spouse it cost me 9 years i didn't want to loose are betray my friends
2007-12-02 16:45:24 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋