men can answer also.my wife is always tired at night or she says shes not in the mood.is this normal for women this age.she says shes not happy with her self because shes over weight and thats why shes not in the mood.so,you ladies have any answers.
2007-12-02 15:42:36 · 25 answers · asked by titansithlord 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sounds like shes avoiding the issue by making up excuses. if shes that unhappy with herself then she should do something about it and not ruin your marriage over it . Sounds to me like theres deeper problems than self esteem.
2007-12-02 15:47:44 · answer #1 · answered by smallblock 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she is beautiful and sexy the way that she is. Maybe she feels overwelmed especially if she has to work and then come home cook, clean and take care of the kids. Even if she doesn't work the cooking and cleaning and taking care of the kids are a tiring job. Help her out around the house and with the kids when you come home. Start treating her like you did when you first fell in love. Give her lots of attention outside of the bedroom. Call her the little love names you once called her. Give her a card with a sweet message or a little love note. Make her feel special and continue doing this through out your marriage. If this doesn't work then I would suggest marriage counceling. I do not care what people say YES communication is number 1 in a relationship but sex is also important as well.
2007-12-02 15:52:26 · answer #2 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How is your relationship? Do you do things for her that could help her feel valued and desirable? We women tend to feel less like having sex when things are not OK between us and our mates... it is hard to be intimate and vulnerable with someone who we do not feel close to...
If it is a tired issue - is she sleeping enough and well? If she's not, encourage her to rest and sleep...
Take her for a walk when you two talk about fun things... start small and build... this will help her sleep better, lose weight and have more energy... all good things, plus you will feel closer to each other... try to do this 3-4 times a week, minimally.
When was her last physical? Encourage her to discuss her fatigue with a doctor... could have anemia or some other clinical reason for feeling tired...
Sad truth is many of us feel less desirable and sexy when we carry more weight... again, walk with her, eat healthier with her and gently encourage her to have a fitter life-style... and I mean GENTLY...
Do not push her sexually... instead, be a little patient and hold her, be very physical with her but not sexual... hold off until she welcomes it or even starts it... if you can be kind and loving away from the bedroom, you can get her to be available later in your bed...
Good luck and I hope my answer did not confuse you!
2007-12-02 16:00:33 · answer #3 · answered by Gatubella 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is normal.
At the end of the day - women are tired. Women who hold jobs outside of the home -- also come home and prepare meals .. they do house work .. laundry .. take care of the kids .. and they ARE tired. Tiredness can erase the mood.
Being over-weight can also play a huge part in being tired .. and not in the mood.
Listen to what your wife tells you.
Most women are emotion driven .. where men are sexually driven. So .. share your wife's emotions .. and consider her feelings .. and this may help ease her problems .. which also help with your problem.
2007-12-02 15:59:44 · answer #4 · answered by Tara 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Weight plays a HUGE role in a womans mood for romance. How can you want sex if you feel like a 1000 lb cow? For obvious reasons you cannot mention her weight....what you CAN do is sweet talk her into taking a walk with you every night, Or join a gym together.....something where she will not feel you are criticizing her shape. Once she drops a few pounds, her energy level will increase, as will her sex drive. Be discrete. She knows she's heavy, she DOES NOT want you to tell her she is.
2007-12-02 15:55:38 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your wife is overweight...she probably is tired from carrying around those extra pounds.....and depressed because she is overweight.....therefore she has little interest in sex....I don't think it is normal for a healthy and fit 30 something year old woman to be tired or not in the mood all the time.
Has she made any attempt to loose the weight? That could make a difference in how she feels about herself and could increase her desire for sex..
2007-12-02 15:48:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself these questions:
1) Am I contributing to the fatigue of my wife?
2) Do I help her pick up MY crap around the house?
3) Do I voluntarily help out with the rest of the chores?
4) Do I reassure her she'll always be beautiful in my eyes even if she thinks she's overweight?
5) When was the last time I took her out on a special date and told her I loved her?
Unless you've done all these things for your wife, she'll forever be "not in the mood" until something gives way to a divorce.
2007-12-02 15:56:21 · answer #7 · answered by Equinox 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I'm not quite 30, and I'm not exactly happy with my weight, but my sex level is way up there!
If you think her self-esteem with her weight is the issue, you can help. I find that it makes me feel sexy when my husband grabs my @ss or hugs me tight and makes the "mmmm!" sound - lol
Give her compliments - but make sure they are present compliments, not like "you would look so good if you...."! Once you have her feeling good about herself she will be more motivated in and out fo the bedroom.
2007-12-03 03:39:55 · answer #8 · answered by Tina the tease 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say to her that sex is like an exercise to loose weight,it is like sport,so if you wanna loose weight and feel better you should have a lot of sex to burn those calories and loose those extra pounds,now if you could persuade her with this information than i think you will be getting more action in the bed than you could imagine,it is like fuc(k)ing her way to a dream top model body..now that should do the trick.lol
2007-12-04 08:34:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 39 and I do not have this problem. Once in a great while I will be tired but we just settle for a quickie for that day. That might happen twice a year.
2007-12-02 16:50:48 · answer #10 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋