WE STARTED DATING WHEN I WAS 16 AND LOST CONTACT IN FEBUARY WHEN I SHIPPED OUT TO BASIC TRAINING. WE RECENTLY JST STARTED TALKING AGAIN AND HE ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM AFTER ARE FIRST DATE I THOUGHT HE WAS JOKING BUT HE WAS SERIOUS AND I REALLY WANT TO BUT EVERYONE IS MAKING A BIG DEAL ABOUT THE 15 YEAR AGE GAP. I LOVE HIM AND I LIKE WHO I AM WHEN I'M WITH HIM SO SHOULD JUST FOLLOW MY INSTICTS AND DO IT OR LISTEN TO MY FAMILY.
2007-12-02 15:30:07 · 14 answers · asked by Wall Paper 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sorry, but you should listen to your family. They are your most precious things in life. If you do get married and your family does not accept it then it will be a big problem. And isnt this illegal dating? A 16 year old dating a 30 year old man...no, that doesnt make sense. Anyway please do not marry this man because you have your whole life ahead of you! However, if this man is rich then you should marry him, otherwise do not.
2007-12-02 15:37:43 · answer #1 · answered by Lute 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wish I could give you some long and in depth answer like so many others here have but it's really quite simple - any guy in his 30's chasing anyone in their teens is just not right. Sure at 19 you're no longer a child but you are still very young and will change so much in the next five years. As for him, you have to ask why he's not able to find a suitable partner closer to his own age. If you were 25 it might be a slightly different story.
2007-12-02 16:11:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are so young. If you love him and he loves you, give it some time... you will do the most changing and growing between 20-30. When you have more life experience, you will be more able to make this life-long decision. Marriage should be forever... r u ready for that commitment? It's not so much the age gap as it is your age. If I married the guy I was "in love with" at 19, it would've never lasted.
Give it some thought.....
2007-12-02 15:38:15 · answer #3 · answered by sunshine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am traditionally not age oriented and usually don't consider age gaps under 10 an issue. However, 15 is almost a generation gap away. You grew up on different music, politics, etc. which can get in the way at younger ages vs. Older adults that are age 35 or older at the same age gap difference because as we age, we gain more confidence.
Also, why was a 31 yr old dating a 16yr old? He clearly likes them younger and you will eventually get older. That is a gentle hint he may eventually grow tired of your older self and seek another young one. He either did not grow up and he is emotionally and psychologically immature or you were way to wise beyond your years. You may eventually bore of him as you gain more knowleddge from your military career and he does not mature in your relationship
Generations ago, it was considered normal for a 14 year old to marry an older, well financially established man. However, as times has changed, women started marrying at older ages and now the average woman is probably age 24-30 before she gets married.
That is because, females in today's age are empowered with choices of education and careers vs. the young 14 yr old was cosigned to a life of "servitude" as a wife, child bearer, cook, home maker, etc. A 19 yr old female has many choices today. Look at you! In basic training no less.
To ask on the first date, even if you had dated before is so sudden. You ARE NOT the same person 3 years ago and nor is he. Your points of view and goals in life may have changed. So stop thinking how you were 3 years ago and even how you were just last February.
Realize this... Continuing to date after a year of you being in the military and you still feel the same way, then it is most likely meant to be. You are embarking on a new chapter in life that will take you places and station you in other areas. Get in touch with who you are before you commit to a life long relationship. Once you are comfortable in your skin, then you can give a bit of yourself to another. New start in the military will require your time and energy and getting used to a new habit of life. Starting a marriage at the same time and trying to transist to that can distract you either from your duties to the military or your duties to your marriage.
Get used to the one before starting another. The fact you said "I LIKE WHO I AM WHEN I'M WITH HIM" should be really I like who I am now and I like the fact he enhances my qualities. That comment hints to me you are not quite comfortable in your skin and why should you be yet? You are only 19 and still learning what it is like to be an adult on your own.
2007-12-02 16:06:32 · answer #4 · answered by Miss Spicy Song Yung 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your family a 15 year gap is a big gap. I am sure your family loves you more then anybody else on this planet and they have your best interest in mind. I say wait to get married if this guy really loves you he won't mind waiting until you are a little bit older and have a chance to experience more your life single.
2007-12-02 15:36:29 · answer #5 · answered by mdjgirl7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait - if you still love him 5 years from now then go for it. You will be a different person in 5 years and more like the way you will be for the rest of your life. I think that most people dont really figure out themselves till they are about 27. The age difference is not as important as the fact that you are too young.
2007-12-02 15:38:21 · answer #6 · answered by J m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your family. They may see something that you can't see because of the emotional ties you have to this man right now.
If he truly loves you than waiting will prove this. Discover yourself, 19 is young...a little too young to marry. I know, I didn't listen to my family and they were right.
I now see the things they were tring to tell me. You must use your head and not your heart. Your heart can fool you.
Stand back and look at the situation from another prospective. You're just starting your life, don't get married too soon. See the world, meet other people. Enjoy your freedom then make your decision.
2007-12-02 15:35:35 · answer #7 · answered by latietee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of this age hollow is merely too plenty. this is no longer the numbers, this is the shown fact which you're at very different places in existence. he's (or could be) primary in a profession, completed together with his training and has dated alot of individuals. you at the instant are not there yet. this is no longer a bad ingredient, you in basic terms are not there yet. you could haave an concept what you what out of existence, yet there are nevertheless alot of opportunities you haven't any longer even imagined yet. you haven't any longer dated alot and have not had many (if any) long term relationships. You dont understand what's needed in a marriage or serious lasting relationship. in case you 2 are somewhat meant for one greater, he will wait around for you to be waiting no remember how long that takes. in case you at the instant are not meant for one greater, you didnt wreck a friendship for no longer something. you could nicely be mature on your age, yet make your very own determination. in case you may even ask if the age hollow is merely too great, it tells me you have 2nd ideas. stick to that instict and wait!!
2016-09-30 11:52:28 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should take more time and think of this matter. marriage is a serious matter. its not just something you decide out of the feelings you have at the moment. you are still young. my advice is that you should first listen to your parents. believe me, they know whats right for you. since youre still young and, i belive, is still blinded by the emotional stuff love can bring, best thing you should do is decide first with your family. if he really loves you hell wait no matter how long you decide. and if youre really meant for each other, even if you separate now, time will make a way and destiny will bring you back to each others arms.
2007-12-02 15:54:09 · answer #9 · answered by icriedherariver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it might not matter just yet but it will in the end. You will just be getting interested in things he's already done.Also as he is so much older then you and if it does last are you prepared to take care of him in his old age well before you should be dealing with that? Does he have kids? If so that is a whole nother chapter of drama for you to deal with. I think that you obviously care about him (your considering marriage ) so there are things you like about him so maybe before you make any decisions about your future you should think about the things that you like most about him and think if you could find someone closer in age to yourself that you could build a equally fullfilling life with.
2007-12-02 15:39:37 · answer #10 · answered by n.s. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋