just need some help.?

Question

So this isnt really a question but i really need advice or just someone to talk to me about this. Well i lost my step dad who i grew up as my father almost 5 months ago We were really close and i was a daddy's girl....and since i ve lost him i noticed i am a different person i get mad over nothing and just brake out in tears. i love being happy thats who i am. I am a happy go lucky type girl. But lately i have not been. Its like i have to force my self to smile. I hate it and i hate this feeling..I feel lost and like i have no controll. Everytime i look at my son i always he never got to meet him and how they would have gotton along and all these things. i am just so confused and hurt. and now my real father who i havent seen in about 17 years wants to be in my life...i really dont know what to do. i just want my dad back......i guess i just needed to let thoses feelings out thanks everyone

Answer 1

One problem that is never talked about in our society is the LEVEL of intimacy we get use to. Usually, with in the course of a life, were happy only have one or two people that were really completely intimate with (intimate doesn't mean sex, sex Can be intimate, strange huh....) ether way, its these close connections that keep us grounded and stable, able to take on our lifes purpose. Now when we all of sudden loss these relationship were showed quite aburptly how important those relationships are, and how much we dependent on them. Really your stuck, finding new, nice, deep, meaningful people to help bring you back out of this, to take away that, your all alone in this feelings. Your real dads timing thou, was perfect, to piss you off. So that happening when it did is going to cause problems because not only do all the regressed feelings for him come out, but the respect, love, and history you had with good old step dad, help to fuel that fire. What you need to feel is that your working still for your step-dad, that he is still driving you and encourging you not thru word, but thru the life he led, and try and make some choices based on that. Really this runs so deep that my words are pretty useless, what it comes down to is you and your purpose, that I can't detact, all I can say is you need to keep reaching for it, and don't let this stop you. I have an e-mail, I've lost a few close people to me, grand-parents and friends thou, not a parent yet, so your pain IS a bit beyond me right now, so don't know how much I can help..... telling you what to do is one thing, KNOWING how to tell you, well that takes experience.....