what do you do if your in a bad marriage?

Question

my husband is very distant,cheated,abused me in the past.he keeps to hiself.has an addiction to computer chat rooms

Answer 1

get all the cash and dip out

Answer 2

Ok, let me ask you this...is there anything good about your husband? If your husband has cheated, abused you (unclear if physical or emotional) and pays no attention to you it seems rather unlikely that he will suddenly turn around. Are there any reasons he might have done these things, financial problems, losing a job, etc. If not, and these things are still going on, then I would get yourself some help. Do you love him would be the first thing. You could certainly go and talk to a therapist or you could both go to a counselor. Think about this question...if you received a million dollars tomorrow, would you stay or go? Take it from there. I wish you the best.

Answer 3

Oh dear I feel very bad for you, as I was in an abusive relationship, but not marriage, in the past. Have you and your husband tried counseling? I would suggest a seperation, until he gets some counseling and if he doesnt change, run as fast as you can to a lawyer for a divorce. If he is abusing you in the present ... run...LEAVE! I cant stress that enough. If he hasnt already he will ruin any self esteem or self worth that you have. Good luck and feel free to email me if you want:}

Answer 4

MIMI MIMI baby, for God's sake, PLEASE have some respect for yourself. this sounds too bad to be true. im so sorry to hear....why are you still living in that hell hole u call marriage??????? theres 1 simple solution: DIVORCE.

dont get marriage counseling. thats a bunch of bull. i mean, itd work if ur husband is JUST distant..but he cheated, abused you, AND has an addiction to computer chat rooms! that will take YEARSSSSSSSSSS to cure...if lucky. know what i mean, girl?

that as*hole needs to get hit by a truck or catch some serious uncurable std and have everyone abandon him. he might even be a pedophile..or else why is he in a chat room? theyre full of underaged girls or guys!! he might be gay! seriously! life is short. do what u please..... if u dont, ull get sick mentally and physically and it will be almost impossible to rejuvinate yourself..if u havent already....trust me, i know someone like this. =(

take care always.

Answer 5

Honestly,

You need to ask yourself these questions:

1. Do you have any children together?
2. Do you work and can sustain yourself?
3. If he is abusive, will your leaving push him over the edge?

From your brief description, it seems as if you already know what you want to do, but you are just looking for affirmation. trust your heart and your gut and you will almost always make the right move.

Answer 6

I'm VERY sorry to hear. The first thing that came to my mind was marriage counseling. Have you checked with him about seeking help?? Is his addiction to Internet chat rooms/porn interrupting your everyday life? My best advice to you is if he doesn't want to seek professional help, or at least talk to family and friends about it (you two together), then maybe you should be distant and give him a taste of his own medicine. Otherwise seek legal advise...Divorce is soon to follow. Best of luck to you.

Answer 7

If he isn't willing to get counseling with you, start planning your escape! Please, make plans! I took off with just the clothes on my back, and that was a mistake. Of course, I was fearing for my life. If you're in danger, stuff is just stuff. If you aren't in danger, just miserable and unfulfilled, get to planning. Start spiriting away things that you don't want to lose to somewhere safe. If he notices, tell him you're cleaning house.
If you can't do it a little at a time, plan it for one day, when he's at work or something. Get a U-Haul, your brother and his truck, or whatever. Load up everything you want, and take it to a safe location. Even if you want to keep the house, get away until things are settled. If he's abusive, I wouldn't want him to know where I live, anyway!
Here's the important part: please pay attention! As soon as you are out, the very day, go to the bank, transfer whatever you think you're entitled to from any joint accounts, and have his name removed from your accounts, and your name removed from his accounts. Tell the bank you are getting divorced and he is not to be allowed access to your funds (or just transfer everything to a new bank). Don't leave checks or cards with both names behind for him. Make him get new ones in his name only. Call your credit card companies, and do the same thing. Don't close your cards, just have joint cards separated. You may want to consult a lawyer about how best to do this beforehand, to protect your credit and avoid getting in any trouble, laws vary. Consultations are usually free, and you'll need a lawyer for the divorce, anyway. Call the credit reporting agencies and have them flag your report, in case he tries to run up credit in your name.
If you can, stay in this situation for a while, and start making a nest egg from whatever money you can get your hands on, so you'll be able to rent a new place, or whatever. You'll need some money to get you started.
This sounds cold and calculating, but it is actually just the things I, and other people I know, wish we'd done when we got out of bad marriages. My late husband's second wife ran up thousands of dollars in debt in their name after she left, and he was held partially resonsible for paying it off. She quit paying the mortgage and bills months ahead of time, and he lost the house. She used the money to fund her getaway.
My first husband stole, sold, or destroyed everything I had, family momentos and all.
My friend's wife ran him off, then destroyed everything he had, and sold or gave away all his tools and his computer.
Splitting up is usually ugly, but in the heat of the moment, big mistakes are made. It is far better to plan for it, be prepared, and do it on your own terms, than to wait for a big blow-up. Often safer that way, too.
Hope I've given you some advice you can use. Be brave. It's better to be alone, than be with someone and still be lonely. Get yourself free, and you'll likely eventually meet the one who you were meant to be with. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 8

He abused u in the past, how about now? If so, u can consider to divorce. If he did change and improve. you can try to have a gd talk with him on spending all his time on chat room rather then family.

Good Luck!

Answer 9

his addiction is cheating the chat room is where he meet his woman.....My brother cheats like that

and the girl just broke up with him about 3 months ago she put up with it for 6 years

so if you have that kind of time stay around and play with him if not leave.....it's a dead marriage

Answer 10

You definitly need to go and if you want to make things work between the two of you, most definitely marriage counseling.
but I think you deserve way better, so be brave and strong because you will need to be the strongest you ever been and just pack your stuff and move away from him............good luck and be strong. I will pray for you.

Answer 11

You gather up all your available resources, make careful plans and, with the help of an attorney, file for divorce. Seems it's been over for you for quite sometime now so there is nothing left for you to do.