I need some advice....?

Question

I will try to make it short,but also give an understanding of the situation.I am a 21 year old single mother of a 5 yo old son.The father has been in our lives on and off.He stopped talking to me when I got pregnant and I moved across state to my mom's where there was more support.(I was 15 at the time,he was 16.)He joined the Marines when he turned 18 and in the past year we tried to make things work between us but it was too hard being so far away.He comes home for good in a month and says he wants time to settle before actually being a "dad".He does not want to live with us because he would have to help pay rent,he wants to settle down and go to college,get a job,etc. before doing anything else.I know it is a good mindset for him to do these things but I can't help but feel very angry that he gets to "decide" when he wants to be a dad to our son.Our son looks up to him like a hero and I don't think it's fair for him to just take his time until he is ready.I need some advice?

I love my son with all my heart and struggle everyday to pay daycare, bills, and put food on the table.I want to get away from where I live and go somewhere I can actually live happily, but it would probably be far away and my son wouldn't get to see his dad very much.I'm so heartbroken and confused on what to do.

He is paying child support.Has compained about it in the past.We originally agreed to figure out the "custody agreement" ourselves since we would live so close (30 second drive away) but now I don't feel as if it is a good idea.

Answer 1

Tricky one, as you're feeling like you got the raw end of the deal.

However, the ball is in your court, in the sense that you can 'decide' when and where he gets to see your son, and even if .... he should be paying you child support, is he? Organise this through the courts!