My husband says if our child is retarded, we should have an abortion. I'm not sure I agree. Should we abort?

Question

Possibility that our baby is mentally challenged. It would be our first child. Hubby says we can always try again for the perfect child. Or maybe give it up for adoption? What do I do? Help!!

Answer 1

Try again for a "perfect" child? I sure hope this is a joke.
Just because your child has the possibility for being mentally challenged does not mean you should have an abortion. No child is perfect, no matter what. Yes, having a mentally challenged child can be hard work at times; however, you should still love that child under any circumstances.
Abortion should not be an option in your case. You were trying for a child and now that you find out it could possible be mentally challenged you think an abortion might be right? Every child should have a chance at life- abortion is not something you do just because your child MIGHT be mentally challenged. Who is to say if you abort this one that your next child might not be? I see bad karma coming from this.

Answer 2

How do you even know it's retarted? I have researched this and the early test's, specificaly the one where they pierce the ambiotic sack and withdrawl fliuds have proven to be completely inaccurate. Also just having the sack pierced gives you a 50% chance of miscarrying. It's like the testing if a child is gay in utero, it is pseudo science. You won't know untill your child is born. My Wife just gave birth to our son 4 months ago and it has been the best experience I have ever had. Please do some research on the faulty science involved here in. Also when you have your Baby, don't get it vaccinated. The Vaccines contain Mercury, in the form of a perservative Thimarasol. Autism is increasing rapidy and has gone from 1 in 200,000 50 years ago to 1 in 75 today. It effects Boys more than girls because Boy's mostly lack a chemical that allows metals to be passed from the blood to the intestines. It then get's clogged around the brain stem resulting is several types of Autism. The Amish don't take Vaccines and have 0 Cases of Autism. All these Vaccines, and Pseudo Science, and Planned Parenthood all come from something called Eugenics. You might recall that Eugenics was a pseudo science that the Nazi's practiced, and how they could claim being Jewish was a birth defect. Well Eugenics didn't start in Germany, it started in England and got a Major push from some very well known familys in the US. Like the Rockefellers. Darwin's family was also into eugenics. H.G. Wells wrote about culling the ranks of "shiftless people". Please watch the movie Endgame free on google video. The last half of the movie completely goes throught the history of eugenics, including how IBM's first computer was invented to assist in eugenics operations. I hope this has been helpful.

Answer 3

That is a hard one. I have a brother who is mentally challanged. He is 48 and mind of 5 year old. I have also worked with people like him.
Growing up and still today we other 5 kids love our brother to no end. My mother worked hard with him but she also had the support of many groups and doctors. There are all kinds of finacial help too. My brother now lives happily in a group home near my parents. My Dad always felt something was wrong with him and that is why my brother was this way (My mother said my brother lost oxygen in the birth canal-long story but not Dad's fault) He stilll gave my mother support but you can tell he has never been close to my brother.
I suggest you speak with a cousouler on the subject. Your doctor may even know the degree of disablement.(Downs Syndrome is one group that can really learn, Maybe not perfect people but the are great learners to a degree and some live on their own when they are older).
If the doctor thinks it will be more than mental, I would discuss that too, because I know I would have a problem with it. I have a friend who has a boy, who has to have a breathing tube in him and a feeding but he has learned many new things and she gets such new joy every time he learns something. Only you and your husband know what degree you can handle.
Also visit a group home or a learning center for these people. They have come a long way since the 60's when my brother was born. Most of them are very loving and joyful people.
Good Luck!

Answer 4

this question replaced into located interior the activities / soccer type even regardless of the undeniable fact that i'll respond to your question. As a quickly to be adoptive / foster parent i'm going to tell you that there are a number of human beings obtainable in seek of a teen / little ones to call their very own and a challenged existence is greater constructive than no existence in any respect. My sister-in-regulation and her kinfolk have observed 8 specific desires little ones and that they are all very happy with the existence they have now. you assert there's a "risk" this might ensue yet that still ability that's a risk the child would be merely effective. do no longer abort the child. supply delivery to this newborn and then make the alternative as to what street his / her existence's experience will initiate. I assure you there is somebody obtainable who will furnish a challenged newborn a satisfied residing house crammed with love.

Answer 5

I think that an abortion is very wrong and that would be taking someones life away which is wrong in every way. If you can go to sleep thinking that "i killed someone" than that is amazing. You never know what that child can come to be maybe he will change the world and maybe he won't. but mentally retarded or not im sure if you keep the child you will come to love it because it has a heart. soooo. ... sleep on that

Answer 6

I have had this conversation with my husband and both of us agreed that we would abort if we were in this situation . I just do not feel that the life i would bring into this world would be a good life. Quality of life is important. Some of these children never grow up, they never fully join society , all they do is bring pain to their family that knows that this child could have had a better life if they were normal.
Additionally, husband comes 1st. Sorry people, i absolutley DO NOT agree with the notion that the woman puts her child before her husband. Husband and Wife are one entity , child is both theirs, it is not more the mothers child. I would never love my child more than my husband, its totally different love. And i would hold it against my child if it was the reason i had to divorce. I dont care what this sounds like, thats just how it is.

Answer 7

I really don't think you should. Sure, it would be a bit more of a struggle to raise the child, but it'll be worth it, I think. I have worked with mentally challenged children and teens in the past, and they are the best.

Answer 8

tough situation. So let me bring it to you from the point of the unborn child.

My life will be difficult and I will never fully enjoy all that life has to offer. I will watch other having fun and living the best of their lives, and though I may not be able to show it very well, I know I will never be able to enjoy my life. I will watch my mother and father strugle to take care of me and I will watch and cry alone at night because I know I am causing them pain. I know they love me but I will never be whole and happy.

Words from a mentally challenge just before he killed himself.

My friends who lost their child are sad for the loss but they are also happy as they knew their child was misserable. Not all parents are blind.

There is NO perfect child and if that is what your husband is after, get fixed now. But if the child has a mental handy cap and it will be a life altering, keep them in the dark and from fully enjoying life, then are you doing your child the best service and giving the child the best possible chance at a good healthy happy life.

My choice is simple in this matter. If I knew that my unborn child was mentally disabled, I would do him/her the best thing a parrent could do. I would not allow them to be born.

This is not about god or my desire to have a perfect child, but the fact that if I die, who will take care of them then. The State, a distand relative, a mental institution?

Sorry, its not about me but about all the mentally disabled people I have seen and worked with. Some are contented, and others are misserable. But I have never seen one who has ever said they are truely happy.

Answer 9

Let's just say, hypothetically, that your child is not born with a disability. Later on in that child's life are you going to say, "Darling, I'm so glad you turned out perfect, because if you weren't we were going to abort you and you'd have no life."

Yeah, I'm 5 weeks pregnant and my husband and I have been trying to conceive for 7 months. We're not giving this child up for anything. If you actually consider doing that you don't deserve to be parents. One of the key parts of being a parent is unconditional love.

Answer 10

As cruel as it sounds, I think you should choose abortion. I have heard of countless cases where parents do decide to raise children with disabilities and have ended up broke (both materially and spiritually), and split up. I'm not saying that there haven't been any successful cases, but that is indeed very rare. But then again, this is your child and the decision rests solely on you whether if you wish to abort or not. If not, I wish you the best of luck in raising your child and do hope that she/he is not disabled or will not suffer from disability in the future.