My husband says if our child is retarded, we should have an abortion. I'm not sure I agree. Should we abort?

Question

Possibility that our baby is mentally challenged. It would be our first child. Hubby says we can always try again for the perfect child. Or maybe give it up for adoption? What do I do? Help!!

Answer 1

ask your Child.

Answer 2

This question was placed in the sports / football category however I will answer your question.

As a soon to be adoptive / foster parent I will tell you that there are lots of people out there in search of a child / children to call their own and a challenged life is better than no life at all. My sister-in-law and her family have adopted 8 special needs children and they are all very happy with the life they have now.

You say there is a "possibility" this may happen but that also means it is possible the baby will be just fine. Do not abort the baby. Give birth to this child and then make the decision as to what road his / her life's journey will begin.

I assure you there is someone out there who will provide a challenged child a happy home full of love.

Answer 3

How do you even know it's retarted? I have researched this and the early test's, specificaly the one where they pierce the ambiotic sack and withdrawl fliuds have proven to be completely inaccurate. Also just having the sack pierced gives you a 50% chance of miscarrying. It's like the testing if a child is gay in utero, it is pseudo science. You won't know untill your child is born. My Wife just gave birth to our son 4 months ago and it has been the best experience I have ever had. Please do some research on the faulty science involved here in. Also when you have your Baby, don't get it vaccinated. The Vaccines contain Mercury, in the form of a perservative Thimarasol. Autism is increasing rapidy and has gone from 1 in 200,000 50 years ago to 1 in 75 today. It effects Boys more than girls because Boy's mostly lack a chemical that allows metals to be passed from the blood to the intestines. It then get's clogged around the brain stem resulting is several types of Autism. The Amish don't take Vaccines and have 0 Cases of Autism. All these Vaccines, and Pseudo Science, and Planned Parenthood all come from something called Eugenics. You might recall that Eugenics was a pseudo science that the Nazi's practiced, and how they could claim being Jewish was a birth defect. Well Eugenics didn't start in Germany, it started in England and got a Major push from some very well known familys in the US. Like the Rockefellers. Darwin's family was also into eugenics. H.G. Wells wrote about culling the ranks of "shiftless people". Please watch the movie Endgame free on google video. The last half of the movie completely goes throught the history of eugenics, including how IBM's first computer was invented to assist in eugenics operations. I hope this has been helpful.

Answer 4

Oh God hun, this is a tough one. Do they know for SURE the fetus in handicapped? Find out and you both need to seriously talk about it.
Having a handicapped child is going to be rough on you,him,the baby AND your marriage. But I do have a problem with hubby wanting to abort just b/c baby may be handicapped. How do you feel about that? I mean, it is STILL ya'll's baby.
This is a choice only you two can make.
I have my own opinion BUT, this is serious and needs to be between you and hubby.
I don't think I could do the adoption thing. Going through the birth, delivery,etc. then seeing baby go to someone else. AND WHAT IF baby IS NOT handicapped and you see your perfect baby go to someone else???? I couldn't do adoption, personally.
By the way....EVERY CHILD IS PERFECT IN THEIR OWN WAY!!!!!!
Don't do anything you might regret. Hubby does have an opinion on this but hun, YOU are carrying this child and YOU are the mother. That goes a LONG WAY...
Good Luck and I will be thinking of you in this time of confusion.

Answer 5

Well, first....I must say...abortion is evil. Even if the child is retarded...what did it do to deserve death? My brother was born with spina-bifeda, has never been able to walk lr the like....should he have been euthenized? Aborting, especially over a non-life threatening condition, smacks entirely too much of Hitlers perfect genetics mentallity.

Second....normally I would point out that you are on the wrong page......but as you can tell by most of the posts here, this is where a lot of retarded people hang out. And their parents let them live. Give this child a chance. Also remember...it is a possibilty, not a certainty that the child is metally challenged. I had a friend get told that their baby was going to be, and she should abort and try again. She decided to NOT punish the unborn child...and when she was born, the little girl was just fine...no retardation at all. Doctors are not God...they don't always know as much as they think they do.

Answer 6

No child is "perfect" You can find something wrong in everyone if that is what you are looking for. People with disabilities are born every day and live long productive happy lives. I would suggest doing more research on the disability the baby may have, and possibly contact a support group. Your husband may not think he is capable of handling a child that is challenged, and he may not be. You should prepare yourself for raising the child with or without him should you keep it. This is a very difficult and personal decision, and I wish you the best. You will be a wondeful mother, you are already thinking of what is best for your child. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

There is no sure way to know the mental ability of an unborn baby. There are tests to determine if you will have a Downs syndrome child but they are not "retarded" they can have very productive lives, they just need teaching in a special way. By the way, there is no such thing as a perfect child. Each child is an individual with his or her unique abilities and disabilities. I think your husband needs to mature some more before this child is born.

Answer 8

I think you should think about if you could afford to care for a child if it has mental problems. If not, you don't have to have an abortion, you could put it up for adoption. Also it would be better to be in contact with an adoption agency now so they could work on finding a possible parent immediately after the baby is born. If you can afford it, then all you need to consider is are you self-less enough to give up your life for another. To spend possibly a lifetime caring for someone. If you feel you couldn't do this without resentment, then I would put the baby up for adoption. Just remember, if you have an abortion. 10 years from now, you WILL think about it, and it will bother you A LOT. You may not think about it every day, but you Will think about it. Can you deal with any guilt you would feel? That is up to you.
Hope this helps, you are in a tough situation. Good luck with whatever you choose.

Answer 9

That is horrible. I'm pro choice, but it is completely wrong for you to want to abort a child because it might not be like all of the other children. In my mind, ALL babies are born perfect, whether or not they are mentally retarded. If you ware even at the point where doctors can tell that the baby may be retarded, it is way to late. If the baby is mentally challenged, he has a brain to think with, he is a PERSON.
Defintitely no.

You are way to late to think about abortion, and doing it because of your childs mental state is terrible.

Answer 10

More than likely if you give your mentally retarded baby up for adoption nobody will adopt him/her. You should NOT abort your baby! If they have confirmed that the baby is going to have developmental issues then you just need to get yourself prepared for the road ahead.

I will tell you my story-- My youngest child is 7 years old. When I was pregnant with him I had the alpha fetal protein test done. It is to be done between 16 and 18 weeks gestation.The test determines one of 2 things. 1- spinal bifida 2- downs syndrome. According to when my last period was he was due on July 4th. So I had the test done and a few days later I get a call from the Dr. to come in because he had a positive result and he needed to talk to me. I went in and he told me that my baby has downs syndrome! I was absolutely devastated. He set up an amnio test with a specialist and told me that it would take 2 weeks to get the results back. During the time that I waited for the results to come back I totally detatched myself from the baby. I couldn't eat or sleep and I was physically sick! Finally I got a call from their office telling me that everything was fine! He did not have spinal bifida and he did not have downs. I was so relieved and at the same time I felt horrible for feeling the way I did until I knew. Everyone has to deal with it in their own way. I got lots of critisim for even having the test done in the first place but to me if I am going to have a baby with problems I need to know so I can be prepared for it. I never prayed so hard in my life! He is perfect and happy and healthy and beautiful!

My advise to you is not to do an abortion. You need to have further testing done first to rule out any problems. You need to look into your heart and decide together as a couple if this is something you think you can deal with in case your baby does have something wrong.

I wish you the best of luck and hope that everything turns out just fine for you and your little one! Good Luck and God Bless!

By the way he was born on June 22 so my test was done too late which will give you a false positive. I must have been pregnant when I got my period and was farther along than we thought. Please make sure to think it all through to make the best desicion for your family.

Answer 11

I understand listening to your husbands concernes, but in all actuallity it is your baby and you need to listen to your heart and do what you think is right. Do not go by what someone tells you to do on the internet. No matter what comes out of you when you give birth expect to love it like it was your perfect child retarted or not it can still be the perfect child it just depends on how much love you give it. Dont try to define perfection what ever happens happens, but try not to expect a perfect child because you will be sadly dissapointed. I hope that help a little bit, Make Your Own Decision