Take Me
I loved her at her finest
And I loved her at her worst
I made her my most wanted
And I always put her first
She had me on my toes for her
To come if she may call
I slept with one eye open
Caught her right before the fall
But she brought out her hammer
Nailed my arms up to the fence
Gave not one good reason
Of the stories, none made sense
So here is what is left to give
I offer you this much
There's not much left unbroken
And i'm cold at hands first touch
Love me like you mean it
And the ice wil melt away
If you will be my lover
I will come to you today
By: K.M.P. "Cut Up Angel"
2007-12-02 13:16:34 · 5 answers · asked by Mary 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
I like it a lot. It has a nice, solid rhythm, and some nice rhymes. I think you should be either more descriptive or even more abstract.
If you feel up to it, email me... some.bodysome1@yahoo.com
J.T. "The Graveyard Philosopher"
2007-12-03 05:03:25 · answer #1 · answered by her half dead lover 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read it, I thinks it's good enough to rate a 9 of 10. 1 point of for technical mistakes, but subject and descriptions were excellent. Only a tiny bit of rhythm issues, but it gets a well done and a star from me.
2007-12-03 08:52:47 · answer #2 · answered by Dondi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Crucified sitting on the fence..I like that Alot - too many people inhabit the land of indifference. Enjoyed poem, I shall think some more over a digestive. x
2007-12-03 02:42:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its really good. :)
keep on writingggg.
2007-12-02 13:51:34 · answer #4 · answered by Rae ☺ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pretty good
2007-12-02 13:25:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋